I am 6 wks pregnant and my boyfriend and I told our families this weekend. His family was thrilled. My family was mad at me. The thing is Im a single mom with two kids already but my boyfriend and I are planning to wed before the baby comes and we are financially stable. I didnt expect my family to do cartwheels or anything but I didnt expect them to bash me either. I was 17 with my first child and of course my family was dissapointed and with my second I was in an abusive relationship so no one was too happy about that pregnancy either. Is it to much to ask that my family be happy for at least one of my pregnancies exspecially one where we are financially stable and planning of getting married soon? His family adores my children and I and they know we are gonna do the right thing. Why cant my family see that?
2006-12-04 07:34:06 · 26 answers · asked by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Im 28 years old.... its been 9 almost 10 years since my first was born. Its not like I go sleeping around and have one child right after another.
2006-12-04 07:47:17 · update #1
I have the feeling that some families like to have someone they acn pick on, even when they're doing well.
Sounds to me like they have thought they can do this in the past, and even now your situation has changed dramatically, they haven't changed their behaviour to you.
This is all about them, don't make it something about you. And certainly try not to let it stress you and the baby. Sounds to me like you have a great man, and great new in laws, so enjoy that and try to put your unsupportive family in the background where they belong.
2006-12-04 07:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by Sally E 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I almost understand. I was married for 2 yrs with no children. I recently became divorced in June. I have known my boyfriend since we were in HS and we got together while my ex husband I were seperated. We've been together 11 months and currently live together. I found out a few weeks ago that I was pregnant. We told his family and they were so happy. My mom was very upset with me because my boyfriend and I are not married. We've talked about it before we found out, but haven't planned anything yet. Now that we found out that we are going to have a child we will plan on getting married after the baby is born. I'm 25 and my Mom still treats me like a little kid. I think she is just worried. Your family is probably just worried as well. My Mom has gotten over it now. It took about a week, but she figured there is nothing she can do. She has sent me a congratulations card as well as a baby bib. I'm sure your family will get over it. It just stinks to be pregnant and have the people that are supposed to be supportive, make you feel bad.
2006-12-04 15:50:17 · answer #2 · answered by absolute_angel54 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you going to continue having kids until your parents seem happy? I imagine you would be a very tired person with a VERY large family of your own. This is the thing about families, his family may smile and 'adore' your children while you are there, but they know they are going home with you. Your family may be standoffish but still truly love your kids and you. I think maybe you are putting too much emphasis on the outer display. Your family has had a ring side seat to your other pregnancies and I am sure they are just worried for the best for you.
I would seriously talk with your OB/Gyn about tubal ligation after this one.
2006-12-04 15:45:36 · answer #3 · answered by hobbs1833 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way they can anticipate your future is by what you've done in the past. You haven't made the best choices in the past, and you have two innocent children as a result of those bad choices. Now you are having a third child. Your circumstances, at least in their eyes, haven't changed all that much. You are still unmarried, and pregnant, yet again. In time you can prove them wrong. But don't expect them to be happy about a third pregnancy right now.
2006-12-04 15:44:25 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Strain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes our families love us so much they can't see the same picture we do. Don't shy away from the in this time. Stay with your plans of getting married and continue to keep your family in the loop. If they see how well you and your boy friend work as a family they may find it easier to love him and respect your choices. I know you feel like running from your family right now, you may loose your family if you push them away. They don't have to like every choice you make 100%. They just need to see that you are ok. If you run they will assume the worst. Also give them sometime to digest your news and then go back and ask them about their conserns. You don't have to do what they say but letting them know you want to hear their thoughts may help.
2006-12-04 15:48:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look...i am pregnant with my third child and have just come to the point where i won't even tell my mother i'm pregnant. there's no point. she will always be embarrassed. (she doesn't even know i am married now)
people like this are only worried how YOUR pregnancy will affect THEM.
you are happy, your husband to be is happy, and your kids are happy. that's what is important. nothing else matters. and if you want to have 14 more kids with the man of your dreams, then by all means have 14. we are planning on having another after this baby is born.
2006-12-04 16:14:26 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is their loss - my family is much the same. I have 3 kids and not a one gets a card from my family. Not that I'm a bad person or young mom they just don't like my choice of religion (they are Christian I am Jewish) I try to help my kids understand but it hurts them. Be happy your Fiance's family is so loving and supportive and just stay clear of your family for awhile - when they ask why tell them the truth - you don't want your kids punished for your life and you want them to be loved and have a supportive childhood. Either they will smarten up or you will have just 1 side of the family for your kids - Good Luck!
2006-12-04 16:22:03 · answer #7 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With a couple of bad choices under your belt (your exes not your babies), they are probably just worried about you. Sometimes when people are afraid, it comes across as anger. Keep showing your family that you and your soon-to-be-hubby can make it on your own, and they'll come around.
P.S. I don't think this is a reflection on how much your family loves your kids at all. I'm sure they adore them all! They just want what's best for all of you!
2006-12-04 15:46:43 · answer #8 · answered by glitterkittyy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it. If your happy then who cares what they think. Family can be so difficult most the time. Just ignore them and live your life. I have a big family and I just let stuff like that roll off my back. If this is the only time they acted out like this I promise you it won't be the last. Just ignore them and continue to be happy with the family you have and the one that is coming into this crazy world... God bless and Happy holidays.!
2006-12-04 15:47:01 · answer #9 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously made your mistakes, but your right! Your family should be happy. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and since you still have your first two kids you must be a good mom.(you know how strangers love to call CPS) But if your family feels this way, then do what you think is right. You don't have to talk to them any more then you want to. Right now you should be happy, don't let them bring you down.
CONGRATULATIONS!!
2006-12-04 16:11:23 · answer #10 · answered by SHELLBELL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋