Should parents allow their children to go with other family members?

Question

I allow my daughters who are 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 to go with mom mom once a week. i feel that this is good for them as well as me because lets face it, it's nice to be away from your kids once in a while and vice versa for the kids. I also know some people with 5 year olds who have NEVER been away from their mom or dad even for 5 minutes. What I would like opinions on is this; Is this really a smart thing to do? To not allow their children to spend time with grandma or another family memer that they trust? Will it affect their social skills once they start school if they spend every minute of every day with their mother?

Answer 1

My daughter loves to spend time away from home. She is the only child in my family as well as my husband's and she loves to go spend time with her grandparents, aunts and uncles without mom and dad around. For the last 2 summers, she's 4 years old, she has spent 2 weeks with her grandparents who live 16 hours away, without me or my husband. She loves it! It's something special just for her and gives her time to spend with her grandparents which is soooo important. My parents live close by and they love to have her over to spend the night occasionally, and again it's something my daughter really looks forward to. I think parents who never let their children out of their sight, not even for an hour church service where nursery is provided, are selfish. Children need their parents, yes, but they also need to experience things on their own. It helps them develop social skills, problem solving skills, independence, self reliance, and so many other qualities that are important. I'm not saying dump your child off on anyone who will take them, but they need to have experiences that they can call their own. My daughter loves to come home and tell me about all the things she did with her grandparents. It gives her confidence to relate her stories to me, it's something that is personal just for her, something that she can claim as her own. It's sad when children don't ever feel that way because the parents are too worried about the child missing them too much. Selfish.

Answer 2

I was always with other family members. i would spend the weekends with my gparents and my other grandmother watched me while my dad worked. I have a good relationship with my granparents where as my little brother who is 10 years younger than me has no relationship with them. He has neever spent the night over at their house and never been left there for a few hours alone. He has no respect for his grnparents uncles and aunts. He is actually kind of indifferent. i guess what i am getting at is that children need that enforcment from other adults even if it is slightly more leniant than a parents. I believe that they will better be able to hold a job and respect other authoritive figures. I personnally have my daughter at my parents home 3 days a week it is a great break for me and i work those days anyway. But you also have to consider the family. If i didnt trust my family or they had drug/alchol issues i wouldnt leave my child. anywho i hope that helped

Answer 3

I allowed my 4 year old to stay with her paternal grandmother since she was a baby and I regret it. But I feel around 15 months is okay. The only thing is everything becomes a routine for kids if its consistent. So they'll grow up always wanting to spend the night or be around your mother alot. I also have a 9 mo. little girl who I don't allow to stay the night away. I don't see anymore clinginess from her than my oldest. But what most important as far as social skills is to be around other children and not just adults all the time.
But hey, to be a good mom you have to take care of yourself, too. I say go ahead take some time off but as they get older you'll miss their little personalities and want to spend all the time with them you can. But as long as you trust the person it is okay and healthy.

Answer 4

I am a mother of 3. My first 2 children were close in age, not even 2 years apart. My third child was born 7 years later. To be away from moma is good for children, they are going to have to go to school sometime and they need to develop social skills. If not they become bratty. There is nothing more irritating than a child not knowing how to interact with other human beings.

Answer 5

I don't know if it will affect their social skills, but they will make mom nuts and grandma will be upset if she can't have her play time with the kids.

I let my son spend as much time with his grandma as they want. I think it is great that you have such an involved mom and that the kids get to see their grandmother so much.

I have a friend who has 3 kids and her first sitter was when the youngest was 2. She never did anything! Not even dates with her husband. She was so relieved when she let go and finally allowed someone else to care for the kids. Yup, I paid for her first sitter--had to it was for my wedding!

Answer 6

As long as your Mom is normal and loves the kids. There are lots of trustworthy people who would be great influences in childrens' lives, but then there are lots of the other kind, either those who are sometimes not trustworthy or those who are never trustworthy.

I thought your question would be about questionable people, but, heck your Mom raised you. You know her parenting skills first hand. Of course, be glad you have a Mom who is so happy to be a Grandmother! and she's lives close enough to have the girls over. You are all so lucky!

Answer 7

I agree that your children should spend time with other family members. It is good for them to get away from home as it is for you to have some personal time. It teaches them some independence as they get older. I don't think it is good for a child to spend every moment with their moms. For one thing it makes them shy and they have no self-confidence because they depend on their mom all the time. One day they will go to school and wow what an awakening that will be for both the kids and mom.

Answer 8

It is a good idea to let children go with family you trust only. It is good for the mom to be away for a little bit. I got burned by my sister when I left my kids with her for 1 weekend my girls were 3 and 1 and Dept of Children and Families took my girls away from her and I had to fight 6 mos. to get them back. But my brother lets his kids grandparents on his wifes side of the family take the 3 and 2 year old boys almost every fri. and sat. and they have not had a problem with it. and the boys enjoy going to pa-pa's house. Just make sure you trust who you are leaving the kids with.

Answer 9

I think it's almost required for healthy development that a child learn to listen to and interact with adults other than their parents. How else will they understand to listen to directions given by teachers and other authority figures later in life. However I do understand some people's wariness. My cousin has two children, both with health problems, who are her miracle babies. She is a highly strung person prone to anxiety attacks and miscarriages. She doesn't let them out of her sight and I understand that. It was so hard for her through the miscarriages and then when it turned out they both had health issues (Her first is just "sickly" I'd guess you'd say and the second is deathly allergic to just about everything) I can understand how she would be terribly over protective of her little ones. I however have a robustly healthy and socialized toddler who talks more to Nan than she ever does to me so I'm not that upset when Nan offers to babysit for a night (I'm overjoyed in fact).

Answer 10

It all depends on the child and the family member. If the person you are leaving them with is responsible and the child seems ready, then why not? It's not a whole lot different than leaving the child with a sitter and going out for the evening... parents need some alone time too.