Can anyone give me any good tips for disciplining a 2 year old girl when out in public when she knows she can not be given a time out and in general she is becoming a little complacent about time outs as they are not a hardship anymore.
Smacking is not an option so please do not offer this as an answer.
Thank you for your help !
2006-12-04 06:51:19 · 62 answers · asked by any 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Spanking is not smacking.
"Spare the rod, spoil the child"
2006-12-04 06:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 12⤊ 14⤋
It depends what you have let them away with so far! I have a 2 year old and I have no fear of taking him anywhere but my behaviour/discipline has always been consistant and he has grown up knowing his boundaries.
If time out is not working any more then you obviously have to find something more effective and perhaps it is you too that has become complacent in your approach.
Mean business and let her know you are in charge and that there are consequences for bad behaviour and not rewards for good behaviour.
Are there older children in the family? My youngest has also learnt a lot from watching them and with the older kids they are clearly told what the consequences of bad behaviour will be and so in effect the reward for good behaviour is not getting into serious trouble!
If you want one idea then start taking away her favourite toys for a period of time and don't give in if she objects. She is only trying to get her own way and manipulate you into feeling guilty. Keep this up at the house for a period of time till she gets the message then take her out. Return a toy when she proves herself outside the house.
I also go nowhere without the buggy. Restrained there is a limit to what they can do!
If you are against a quick slap on the bottom as a fast wake up call, then you are going to have to think of your own alternatives. My 2 year old has only ever had 1 spank and now I only have to give him 1 warning if he does misbehave because he knows fine well he doesn't want that again! And it is not abuse or making the child scared of me etc - I have a fantastic relationship with my children.
What would you rather have? Situations that erupt into a full blown public show down every time you're out or being able to quietly say 'do that again and you'll get a spank' then having nothing but a well behaved child who then changes their attitude back into one of a contented toddler? Strangers have come up to me and commented on the good behaviour of my toddler in the shops etc.
A child is 99% of the time pushing your buttons to find you limits - so it is easy for them to go from demon to angel and I have a proven success rate with my children and recommend it to anyone!
2006-12-06 07:12:43 · answer #2 · answered by wee stoater 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy a packet of sweets with lots of little sweets in like Jelly tots. Give her one as soon as you get into town. Say she can have another one if she is good for the next 5 minutes or til you get out of the shop, whichever is quickest. Do this regularly while you are out, if she is good for just a few minutes give her a sweet. As it's a little sweet it won't hurt and she is really too young to be made to wait until the whole shopping trip is over before getting a reward for being good.
It worked on both my two and they are now fine going out and no longer need to bribe them!!
If you show a child that good behaviour is rewarded they will soon learn that it is worth being good. A 2 year old cannot control their emotions and ways of expressing it are by shouting and screaming if they don't get what they want. They need to learn that bad behaviour gets nothing in any situation - attention, toys sweets anything but that good behaviour can result in fun things.
I agree with you on the smacking front, don't know where you live but in the UK I have heard of Social services being called out because a child has been smacked in public, 99% of people are fine witnessing this but there is always that one person who will go over the top and report you. With all the laws now about smacking and what is a reasonable smack that a parent should dole out, it's not worth the risk.
I do smack my children but only when it is really necessary for them to understand the gravity of their action.
The way I have brought my two children up - 3 and 5 has resulted in them being polite, well behaved children wherever we go, so I must be doing something right!! And couldn't tell you when the last time either of them had a tantrum out in public, and there is very very rarely one at home!
2006-12-04 07:00:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your biggest problem in public is that your children can hold something over your head--the threat of public embarrassment! No one wants to look like a child abuser in their local grocery store. Many parents wonder how they can give a time out in public where there is no "time out room." Here are a few ideas:
A grocery cart (for small children)
The corner of the store
The store's bathroom
Right where you stand--holding their hand
The car for a few minutes
The front of the store
During the time out, you should not talk to the child. No lecturing, screaming or nagging. It's hard, but after a while, the child will get the idea that you mean business.
2006-12-04 08:05:21 · answer #4 · answered by Bomb Diggity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with her before going out and explain to her the consequences for bad behavior. Some ways to discipline, could be to take away a toy or a tv movie or cartoon. Make it something she really likes. If she behaves too bad in public take her to the car or bathroom and remind her again.
I still believe spanking is good in certain occasions but not for a 2 year old.
2006-12-04 07:39:48 · answer #5 · answered by Tenn Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, set up so her trip out is comfortable. Have her lovey, sippy and any toys that she loves that will keep her amused. I also take snacks (yup, I have a huge purse!) I hate the idea of leaving my errands if my son acts up because I know he will catch onto that and throw a fit just so we will leave. If he misbehaves, he has to ride in the cart while I get my errands done. I also tell him that he can throw as big of a fit and we will leave when I am finished. I am also realistic about what he can tolerate. I don't do errands right before his nap and don't drag him around for hours.
He has gotten much better now that he knows the rules. I don't do time outs in public because it is awkward and I never know where he will sit for them (at home he has a little flip out couch that is time out central) I have also been doing time-outs (no lovey, toys, tv, books or anything) since he was 18 months. Now at 2 1/2 he gets it and rarely needs them. The threat is now enough.
Don't forget if you spank your child (yes, I have for extreem behavior) in public, you are likely to get reported to child services these days. Everyone assumes you cannot discipline your child and would love to do it for you.
2006-12-04 07:39:03 · answer #6 · answered by Beth W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What works for me is in the car on the way to the store or wherever I am going, I tell her this is where we're going and this is how I expect for you to behave. If you can behave well, maybe we can buy you a little treat at the checkstand when we're done and you've proved you can be a good girl. Then I tell her what the consequence will be if she does not behave, I explain that if she misbehaves that we will leave the store immediately and that when we get home, she will either get a spanking, time out, or whatever the situation warrants. Sometimes my daughter get a VERY smart mouth, and when we get home, I put soap in her mouth. It always works!
2006-12-04 11:11:02 · answer #7 · answered by BimboBaggins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too have taken the non-violent approach in bringing up my child, now age 10 and confident and happy and loving. And no, I have never lowered myself or disrespected her by physically hurting her. Call it smacking/spanking/swotting, what ever you want. It is simply physical violence. And as you already are obviously aware, violence breeds violence.
Positive re-inforcement is really good and works. You know, ignore the negatives and remark prolifically about the positives. It takes a little time but she will catch on and realise that if she's really good when she gets home she will get a star on a chart. Get 10 stars and she gets a treat - whatever you feel appropriate - trip out, stickers, craft activity, etc.
That should do it. Also don't forget to explain to her how it makes you feel when you are out in public and she misbehaves. Even though she's 2 she will eventually grasp the concept of what you are saying.
Good luck and well done for following the peaceful approach to parenting. No doubt, you will end up with a friend when she grows to be a woman.
2006-12-05 08:20:58 · answer #8 · answered by personwithgreeneyes 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why can't you place her in time out when you are out running errands. It doesn't necessarily have to be the "naughty circle, mat, corner...etc) If she is in a shopping cart, then just simply stop the cart untill she behaves...find a park bench to sit on until she can be a big girl. Explain to her before you leave that if she is going to act up, then the shopping trip will be over, and if she acts up, even if you are in the middle of doing whatever, give her a warning, but next drop what you are doing and bring her home. End of story. She will get the picture, but remember...she is only two and it may take some time as she is now learning how to test boundaries...
2006-12-04 06:56:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
my friend at work gave me some advice for when mine is older, He said that when it is something that is not very serious then say, you may or may not do something. If it is something serious then go with a strict no! If they are doing something like running out in the middle of the road then this would be a NO! and then you would want to tell them why they can not run out in the middle of the road. This way they know the bad from the really bad and then you have to choose your battles, or you will be arguing all of the time over everything.
2006-12-04 06:58:59 · answer #10 · answered by aliemgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you are in a public place and this method may be a little time consuming it may work. Let her know that because you are in public she can still be punished in public and right away. For example, if you are in the grocery store and she begins to misbehave, get down to her level (eye level) and let her that her behavior is unacceptable and she is about to punished. Taking her to the care to sit for 2 minutes may work or having a time out section in public. You can make her sit in the shopping cart for 2 minutes instead of walking "like a big girl", or take away some things she likes.
2006-12-04 06:58:02 · answer #11 · answered by fudgemommie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋