We have been together for a lil over a year and have a baby on the way. He has been talking about getting married. He gets upset when I say lets wait at least four years. I love him and want to be with him but not ready to get married. What do I do if he asks. The baby is due Feb. 14. I have a feeling that is when he is going to ask.
2006-12-04 06:36:08 · 38 answers · asked by knight_trina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'll tell you what...don't think about it anymore. When he askes, do what you feel in your heart. He's obviously trying to make sure to provide a good, stable home for his baby and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Maybe you can just be engaged for a little bit and not rush out and get married...you can say yes and then just ask for a long engagement. That sounds like a nice compromise.
2006-12-04 06:39:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, you're ok to commit to having a child with this guy, but you're "not ready" to get married? Which do you see as a more serious committment? Your perspective is a bit skewed here, I think. At least, getting married by mistake is easier to correct... Having a kid is forever, and everything you do from now on will reflect on the kid. If you think it will be somehow "easier" to split up when you're not married, think again - the effects on the child will be the same, regardless of the presence or absence of the piece of paper that people call the marriage certificate.
I would say - might as well get married; it'll make life easier as a couple. By the time you decide you're "ready", he might change his mind.
2006-12-04 08:05:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no rule. I suggest you date until you are comfortable with each other then try living together for a while. If everything is going well then consider marriage. If any red flags come up then go back a stage.
Since you are going to have a baby together, it is probably in your best interest to get married first. This way, if you do get divorsed you have additional legal rights. Besides, since he is the baby's father he will be in your life forever anyway, married or not.
2006-12-04 06:37:51 · answer #3 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to stress yourself out and try to plan a wedding around the time your baby is due...it is going to be overwhelming and you're going to need to be relaxing for the baby. Let him propose...there is no rule that says you have to be married within a year of being engaged...there is no reason why you can't stay engaged for an extended period of time and have the wedding when you're ready. Four years might be a bit much, but you can compromise...
2006-12-04 12:32:02 · answer #4 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a baby on the way, get married tomorrow. Talk is cheap- you both need to step up to the plate and face your responsibilities. If you're not ready to get married, you shouldn't have been having sex and getting pregnant. Now, it's not about what you "want" or are "ready for"- it's about growing up real fast to give the baby a stable home with 2 committed parents.
2006-12-04 06:59:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there's really no rule of thumb for it, it depends entirely on the couple. keep in mind that you don't necessarily have to get married right after he proposes, there's nothing wrong with having a long engagement. my man and i live together with our kids, we got engaged last april, and we're not planning on getting married until at least another year and a half. how about you two find a comprimise and have a 2 year engagement? that is, if you're definetly sure that he's the one you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with. if you decide that you don't want to get married right now, or even engaged, you need to tell him that before he starts throwing proposals at you, it'll be much more easier on him than you telling him no. if you need a reason, then you both need to focus on providing a stable and happy life for your baby first, then you can worry about getting married later. (it's the truth, after all.) best of luck.
2006-12-04 07:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay their is no real anwser, it depends on how long till you are sure he is it, you have one life, and only one life. Don't get married for a child, that is never a good reason. I did and it ended in a messy, nasty 3 year long devorce...I am currently in the process of doing it right this time. So when ever your heart feels this is true, and not for the sake of the child I say go for it. Marry for love, not for what others think may be best for YOUR child. Children know more then you think they do......good luck
2006-12-04 06:50:43 · answer #7 · answered by Army Love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I would go to the justice of the peace TODAY!
You have a baby on the way!!!
Four years would have been great if you didn't get pregnant!
Go protect yourself and the baby... Make your life together, get married NOW before the baby comes!
2006-12-04 06:44:20 · answer #8 · answered by my-kids-mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never understood the concept of "I'm not ready to get married but I'm ready to have a child with you." Children are a greater commitment than marriage. Anyway.....
Get married. It's time. You love him, he loves you, you want to be with him, he wants to be with you, there is a baby on the way.... now is the time. Everything is right.
2006-12-04 07:32:52 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surprise him once in your life and get married, or u will have a chance of loosing him if u don't.
Guys love surprises too, and especially the once they'd NEVER Expect u to do. I think this would even be a great situation where u should ask him, no need for a ring though. Best of Luck!
2006-12-04 06:54:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋