A baby at 19?

Question

I am 19 wanted a baby for years,when i fell preg before i got a abortion as the time was not right,and my health was bad, i have sent alot of time with my friends baby and now i feel i really want one,i ken my family would not be happy but its what i feel is right,
what should i do?am very mature for my age?

Answer 1

DON"T HAVE ONE NOW!!! Enjoy your youth.... I love my son to pieces but they are a lot of work. I hope you wait a few more years... get to know yourself first then bring a baby into this world.

Answer 2

I say you are 19 and the government recognizes you as an adult so the decision is yours, I will warn you though, that having a child is not an easy task and definetly not a responsiblity to be entered into lightly. Think about how you will pay for it (diapers and formula and clothes) those things are expensive, especailly to a single mother. I am not going to lecture you like the others on here, i don't think that is what you need, you need someone who can tell you how it really is. Kids get sick, do you have insurance, the delivery alone can cost thousands of dollars (especailly if ou have a premie). Do you have a babysitter (childcare is also very expensive)and reliable transportation back and forth to work? Do you have a job that is family friendly (because not all jobs care that you are a working mom). These questions are not to scare you, if you can honestly answer them and feel 100% good about your answer then I say go for it children are a blessing , but don't get upset when you can't go out with you friends becuase you have a baby, and yeah it may look good but step back from the picture and what do you see? My guess, is struggling mother trying to make ends meet and give her baby a better life than her own. If you can make that kind of sacrifice, who am I to say no to you. Just pray about it and don't make a decision based on emotions because it is not just your life you have bearing over once your pregnant you must consider that too:) Happy decision making and I hope this answer was helpful:)

Answer 3

I think you should be in a stable relationship before you start having kids and you don't mention a partner. You really do need at least two people (and preferably a whole extended family and lots of friends) to raise a child. It's hard work!

Enjoy playing with your friend's baby and support her by babysitting whenever you can. And enjoy the fact that you can give the baby back when you want to do other stuff or go out in the evenings! And any morning when you sleep in a bit late reflect on the fact that once you have a baby you will never sleep late again!!

Answer 4

I can tell right now your not mature enough, go back to school and get your education so that when you have a family you can have something to offer. It's not all baby booties and gurgles, It is HARD WORK, and probably the most thankless one. I had a baby when I was 19, stayed in school and worked full time, and I was barely making it. There were times I wanted to cry every day. Whenever you have the opportunity to wait, you should. You just want a baby because you see your friends with one and you think it's cool, so why don't you babysit for them once in awhile and really see how much work it is, not to mention how much work it is to make ends meet every month.

Answer 5

My mother was 19 and my father was 28 when I was born. My mother thought she had me too early. My father was happy he "waited." And they were in a stable relationship.

Are you in a stable relationship? Can you financially provide for your child? What's happening with your career? If you can't really answer these questions, or if the answer is no, then I'd stay you should wait.

You didn't mention the state of your relationship. If you are in one, have you discussed this with your partner? Babies are not one-person decisions. It takes two.

And since you're wondering and asking, I'd say wait. At least until you've made up your mind, which is something that people on the internet can help you with, but can't do for you.

There's no harm in you working, saving up some money, going to school, getting a trade, whatever, and just waiting three or four years.

Answer 6

yeah cuz you showed so much maturity by killing the first baby you were pregnant with, way to be mature on that one and take resposiblity for your actions.

wait until your married, and can afford a baby. think about the things you see below ;

medical costs of having a baby$10,000 vaginal delivery with out any problems.
The average ultra sound is $300
Average doc visit for just checkup $175
Baby diapers run you around $50 a month
Formula $75 a month unless you can breast feed
***You also need, baby clothes
baby wipes, bottles, sippy cups, burp rags, blankets, baby towels, wash cloths, baby soap, baby shampoo, baby laundry detergent, diaper bag, swing, stroller, car seat, crib (cheapest i have seen is like $60 for an old crappy used one) baby socks, baby food, teething rings, toys and books, etc...

still think you need a kid at 19?

Has anyone told you what happens when you give birth?
Your vagina actually tears or the doc cuts it...imagine feeling that....then you get stitches down there and it burns when you pee and walk. a lot of women crap on the table.

Answer 7

You need to think about pursuing your education first. You have no business having a baby until your financially stable. This means being able to supply the baby with good insurance from your job as well as supplying the baby with everything it needs. It may feel right now, but trust me you are not ready until you can do what I have stated above.

Answer 8

While you are quite young, it is quite common for girls to start their families at a young age out here. Where we live, a good 30 percent of girls are married by age twenty-one. If you are thirty and unmarried, it is a social handicap. However, a lot of young couples get divorced, so that is a double standard and yet it affects everyone.

If you feel ready, then I guess it is your decision to go ahead. You will need support from your family. Ask yourself about the baby's needs and your financial state. Read up on nutrition and get prenatal care. Also, you may want to join a support group for young mothers as well as La Leche league if you nurse. There may be parenting and counselling courses available through your church or synagogue.

Answer 9

If you were very mature for your age you would realize that all children deserve a father. You dont even mention a commitment to a man. You also would realize that you need a good enough job to pay for rent, daycare, medical expenses, food and clothing. Can you supply all this or do you plan on depending on the state to give you freebies?

Answer 10

you are only 19. LIve life for a little while and enjoy yourself and doing things for yourself. Once you have a baby - you will have no time to do anything for you. YOu have years and years to have a baby at the right time. 19 is so young. i iknow you said you are matrue for your age but at 19 - you still have so much to experience and go through. think really long and hard about this.

Answer 11

If you have a baby, your life will be over. I have known many girls who wanted babies, swore they were ready and had them despite all warnings. Now, fifteen years later, they whine and moan because they can't do anything, the kids take up all their time and resources, and the only thing they have to look forward to is work until too old to go on because they didn't prepare themselves financially beforehand. Some of their kids are in trouble with the law, all of them are disrespectful. You are not ready to inflict another semi parentless child on the world. It is very selfish. But you will go ahead and do it anyway because you are immature.