My fiance said that i could read his emails, but when i did i found out that he was telling one of his friends that i was some kinda sex machine and that we were doing it all over his house and in the movie theader, the only problem is that i have not had sex with him at all, i wanted to save that for our wedding night....call me old school...
Isnt there something wrong with that...what do i do?
2006-12-04 05:43:41 · 35 answers · asked by Sarah H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't think there is anything wrong. Guys like to make their guy friends think that they are cool and having a girlfriend/fiance' that is a "sex machine" makes him look cool, or atleast he thinks it does. As long as he isn't cheating on you or doing drugs, etc.. then let this issue go.
2006-12-04 05:46:21 · answer #1 · answered by kwightman69 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Would you confront your best friend if you caught her in a lie? Do you consider your fiance your best friend? Do you trust him completely? Maybe this is a one time weird lie, but you need to give it time to ensure that he is a trustworthy person in other areas of his life as well. He will not change after you get married, no matter how hard you try. Make sure you get certified pre-marital counseling. Check your local church or a trusted therapist. Pre-marital counseling can solve so many issues before the marriage, make sure you are both on the same page with expectations, and reveal things that may help you decide to put the marriage on hold or cancel it completely. Do not keep his secret a secret. Talk to him first. Definitely get pre-marital counseling. Hope this helps.
2006-12-04 05:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by A mom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you imagine what his friends would say or think if they had any idea that you weren't having sex??? I think it is GREAT that you are not having sex..... but his friends would probably give him such a hard time about it! They would probably say something moronish (hahaha) like "Hey dude, since your girl isn't putting out, why not get it some where else?? Afterall... it wouldn't be cheating since she isn't doing anything anyway." You know how guys are! Just let him know that you read what he was telling his friends. Don't feel like you have to have sex, tho. Definately wait till you are married! I wish I would have! That is one mistake you can take back! Once it is done... it's done! Be sure to tell him that you hope you can live up to all his bragging!! hahahaha Consider yourself lucky that he isn't getting it somewhere else and that he doesn't want his friends to pressure him to do so and that he doesn't want them to thin k anything bad about you either. Not that any decent person would... but you know MEN! :) Bottom line.... talk to him about it! :)
2006-12-04 05:51:48 · answer #3 · answered by clistaharrington 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you are reading his e-mails unless you don't fully trust him....and apparently, your suspicions are well founded. If he doesn't respect you to his friends now, I would not expect that detail to improve simply because he utters, "I do," in church. Intimacy is a kept intimate by loyalty, trust, and respect for each other. Boasting or bragging to his friends regarding your intimacy, even if he is making details up, is very immature at a bare minimum.
I'd talk to him about the revelation and see how he responds to your sense of betrayal and intimacy Issues......If he doesn't apologize and resolve to NEVER divulge details of your personal intimacy again (real/or imaginary), call the wedding off and find a more suitable soul-mate.
2006-12-04 06:06:33 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. US of A, Baby! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he felt he had to look big in his friends eyes. Alot of guys are not willing to tell the buds that they are not gettin any. If you feel in your heart that what he did was wrong then yes it was wrong. If you can look past this as just him being foolish then I would not let it come between you. Best thing to do is ask him, and than go from there. After all he told you that you could read his e-mail, right?
2006-12-04 06:50:43 · answer #5 · answered by phluttr_bye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Danger Danger Danger...this indicates serious honesty, respect and trust issues. Your guy may want his friends to think that he is a stud, but it is really scary that he would lie about you to make that happen. When you marry, you become partners in everything in life. Finances, child rearing, planning for your future, etc. You MUST have respect, trust, honesty, etc. to make this a lasting and positive partnership. Many people marry when they are "in love". Be warned that love is wonderful, but that "in love" feeling does not last forever. I have been in a wonderful marriage for 15 years, while I have watched all of our friends get divorced, remarried, etc. The only thing I credit our happy marriage on is that we had very good basic building blocks. We are very different people, but have similar values, great trust, both very honest, etc. Those things have made the marriage good and lasting, not the "in love" that we felt at the beginning.
2006-12-04 05:53:10 · answer #6 · answered by Robert A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him talk big it will make him feel better. Ask him about it like it is no big deal. If he is with you on waiting to get married before taking the plunge then you are fine and dont even worry about it... but let me tell you after the wedding you will be so tired you will more than likley wait until the next day!!! the wedding will tucker you both out!!!
2006-12-04 08:19:51 · answer #7 · answered by mcshel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have discovered is more important than you realize. You have discovered that your finance is a liar. If he can lie about this he can lie about anything. Leopards do not change their spots. I hate to tell you this, but you can't trust him any more. What will he lie to you about in the future? Has he done this with someone else? How does he know how to describe these things if he hasn't? Will he have an affair and lie to you? This a sign of a man's character which doesn't say much for his character, does it?
2006-12-04 05:52:48 · answer #8 · answered by ruthie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I would say your man needs to grow a little in his maturity I would bet he is still under 25. Boys will be boys don't be shocked yet because you don't know the half of wedding bliss yet honey! I would ask him to stop telling his friends thses lies because it makes you feel bad. Don't argue, don't insult, and don't give ultimatums!!! Also make sure when you discuss this with him you are not crying and emotional
2006-12-04 05:50:01 · answer #9 · answered by Chrissy #1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOl.. Ouch! Yeah that's like a man thing. He needs to tell his friends that hes "getting it" or they will mock him all day long. That's not good for you tho because your man should be honest with you. That kinda makes you sound trampy too that your "banging" all around the house. Talk with him tell him you saw the e-mail and that your not too happy. He will probably try to danie it as much as he can but....... Go easy on him Your man must love you if hes waiting till your ready!
2006-12-04 05:53:36 · answer #10 · answered by BOOTS! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋