Please answer only if you have. What was the situation? What led you to do it? Do you regret it?
I had a boyfriend who lied to me about hanging out with another girl. I broke up with him, and to this day, 4 months after we broke up, says he is still in love with me and is trying to get me back. He even went so far as to have my car repaired for me. But he lied about hanging out with this other girl for so long, I just can't trust him that way, even though I do value him as a person. He says that he liked hanging out with this other girl, but never had any real feelings for her - even though he liked her enough to lie about her to me.
I'm wondering if anyone who has cheated could help me understand his rational?
Thanks!
2006-12-04 05:28:09 · 16 answers · asked by starlet_8 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ah, but here's the rub, there were texts and emails that implied cheating - just no cold hard evidence (I never walked in on them or anything.) But the fact that he lied about even hanging out with her suggests that there is no limit where he would stop lying. He has other female friends I was fine with - it was just this girl he lied about. So no, I don't flip out.
And I asked the question because I wanted to see if there was anyone here who had reflected on why they cheated, so I could understand it a bit more.
2006-12-04 05:41:44 · update #1
Everyone has different reasons. For me it wasn't that I didn't like home it was just that I wanted to see what I was missing. Basically being selfish. I liked the fact that someone besides my significant other took interest plus I just liked the challenge of seeing if I could have sex with a girl. Again, no fault to my significant other, it was just me being selfish/childish. After wards I realized that relationships are pretty much all the same and I had been very lucky to find the person I was with. Great insight but a little too late. Now I've learned to appreciate what I have and not wonder if I am missing something if there is something better out there.
2006-12-04 05:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've been cheated on, its not a good feeling at all. Especially after you have contributed your all to the relationship plus being as faithful as humanly possible....For someone to go and do something as cheat on their mate is outrageous. After you've put your trust into that person, the person who gave you the line about he will never do anything to hurt you. After the person has "earned" your heart, they go out and do something such as cheat........???? Then afterwards they have the nerve to say they are sorry and that they are still in love with you and that they want you back???? PLEASE!!!!!! Its called morals......After putting myself out like that by really trusting the person, they stomp all over you like its nothing???? Then they want you back??? HA.....They had their chance and ruined it, not only for them but for me too because for the next person that comes around, I will really keep my guards up about them and I wonder if thats fair or not????? No it isnt!!!!!
Whatever you do, do not take him back no matter what he does or how much apologizing he does, its not worth it, move on....Who's to say he will not do it again
2006-12-04 13:36:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. Its like when you were a kid and you know you shouldn't do something... so you hide it. Well, he knew from the beginning hanging out with this girl would make you mad is why he hid it from you. Sure he might not have had real feelings, but he wanted to hang out with her knowing that it would upset you is why he didn't tell you. It makes sense. So you have to consider, do you want a dishonest boyfriend? Is this a trend in his behavior? Repairing your car is just a ploy, don't let him BUY your love or time. Just talk to him, if you want to give him a chance give him a chance. People do make mistakes.... however, if you cannot give him your trust, don't bother.
2006-12-04 13:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He didn't cheat on you, but he lied to you about hanging out with her. So, he's not as low as a cheater so let that go. Why he lied, from a man's prospective is because he didn't think you would understand for some reason. He was probably trying to avoid confrontation, argument or a fight or something. Possibly, he was feeling guilty about hanging out with her. But whatever the reason, he didn't cheat and don't harp on that. Yall need to talk and get it on the table.
2006-12-04 13:59:45 · answer #4 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes i have and it is something that i regret now about at the time i didn't. my husband was not there for me when i needed him the most. he never paid attention to me. he didn't care to spend time with me, it was as if i didn't exist for him. so i meet someone that did all the thing my husband didn't do and one thing led to another but we where friends for about 6 months before we ever did anything. Its the little things that matter and if you choose to take someone for granted then you may lose that person. I am please to say that i was able to come clean with my husband and he has given me a second chance and we are working things out. he has changed so much. I wish i didn't cheat on him but i was soooo lonely and it made me feel good to know that someone thought i was attractive and give me the attention i wasn't getting. we all learn from our mistakes.
2006-12-04 13:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I cheated on my husband once when I was married. He never found out, but I carried the guilt around for so long. The reason I cheated is because I found out that he cheated on me and I wanted revenge. Stupid and childish, I know, but I wanted to feel better about myself. I completely regret it. Even now after we have been divorced for five years.
2006-12-04 13:31:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've cheated and been cheated on... whenever I cheated on a guy it was usually because I was insecure in our relationship and I thought he was cheating (or about to be) on me. Sort of a stupid, "I'll hurt you before you can hurt me" reflex. I regretted every time I did it, not because I hurt the other person, but because it was just plain stupid. Hope this helps.
2006-12-04 13:32:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would anyone who cheated help you understand YOUR guy who did NOT cheat?
Hanging out with someone else is not cheating.
Lying about hanging out with someone else is not cheating.
It's just lying... which I could understand he would lie to you about hanging out with another girl if you're going to freak out and accuse him of cheating.
Still, I wouldn't get back together with a liar.
2006-12-04 13:37:19 · answer #8 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a man i can say he's definitly infactuated by her in one way or another. Its not like he can't have female friends and share them with you, but if hes keeping his relationship with her discrete i think there's more to the story.
2006-12-04 13:33:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes... many, many times. I was a super horny sex addict who would hit anything that moves, or anything that stood still long enough for me to hit it. I am not trying to be funny. I was sick and out of control. I am now in recovery.
2006-12-04 13:32:48 · answer #10 · answered by Jack C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋