Girls, say you found the perfect man. You knew him as a kid and were always best buddies. You haven't seen him in about 6 years and when you meet him he is now 6'4" Blonde hair, blue eye, abs and buns of steel, brains, total gentleman, great future. BUT he is dating this pretty, perfect, prissy little brat (yes, the claws have come out). Do you move in? Now add the fact that you find out she is isn't perfect and your the one with the dirt on her. Do you tell?
2006-12-04 04:31:00 · 19 answers · asked by jessica a 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't interfere with their relationship, even if you know she's a complete brat. For one thing, if they break up, and he's heart-broken, he might not turn to you for comfort, because you're the one who caused them to break up in the first place. Which reflects badly on you. You don't want him to associate that pain with you.
The only thing I can recommend is waiting. Stay his friend. Date other people casually, and wait and see if anything happens with their relationship that ends it naturally and without any interference from you.
Good luck!
2006-12-04 04:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading your other posts, it's clear that you're a well-educated military professional in her 20's with the same ideas about the opposite sex that I had when I was in your position ten years ago.
The perfect man does not, in fact, exist. Neither does the perfect woman. The features you find perfect will be overshadowed by attributes you find revolting... for starters, a tendency to leave his significant other for someone else, if you get your way (Oh, the irony). The blond hair, blue eyes, and abs and buns of steel will mean nothing to you after a few rolls in the hay give way to real life.
The fact that you learned his girlfriend isn't as perfect as she appears illustrates my point. What if some guy out there in Afghanistan (Loose lips sink ships...) knows some dirt about your perfect man? Would you still want him, or do you insist on perfection?
Respect yourself by gravitating toward men who respect you.
2006-12-04 13:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by rustyshackleford001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, it sounds pretty selfish to move in on an existing relationship to me. I would personally only consider ruining someone else's relationship if I thought the guy and I were truly in love, because that kind of stuff (cheating, being left for someone else) really sucks and hurts, and relationship karma will eventually bite you in the ***. It is also different to think you've found the "perfect guy" and to be in love with him - when you are in love with someone, you love them inspite of their imperfections (which Im sure he does have, just give it some time). On the other hand, if he is receptive, it could be that he's trying to get out of the relationship anyway - in that case, just make sure he ends it with her before anything happens between you two. Cheaters never prosper, or something like that. But I would probably not directly tell him your dirt... it will make you seem like you are trying to trick him or something - believe me, you don't want to get involved in the hurt feelings that will follow if you tell. He can find out, but not through you, if you know what i mean.
2006-12-04 12:40:52 · answer #3 · answered by starlet_8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes Do Move In, You approach the matter in a diplomatic way, honey you see something you want you go get whats yours, life is short and you don't want to go through life with regrets, don't tell him out right about the dirt you have on his brat, its not what you say, its how you say it, but do tell.
2006-12-04 12:38:10 · answer #4 · answered by tambranmasala 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he sounds like he's perfect on the outside at least, but who's to say that he's any good on the inside? Does that count for anything in your eyes or your equation? All you mentioned was what he looked like, but what if he was dumb as a box of rocks, mean as all get out, HORRIBLE in bed, and a pedophile. How would you treat the situation now?
Why go and ruin the relationship just because you can? Is that going to make you look any better to him? I doubt it. You're going to look petty and childish, which it kind of sounds like you are........sorry to say........
2006-12-04 12:36:42 · answer #5 · answered by fedupwithu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had many friends that are men. You probably know him better than she ever will. I would tell him without disclosing your personal feelings sooner than later, he may not see it now, but eventually he will, and then perhaps you and him will have a future together.
2006-12-04 12:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by undeniable 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.This perfect man has his taste and that was her.You have no business meddling in their affair.if this guy wants to know about his gf he will do so.What if the perfect man knows about his gf's dirt and isn't concerned about it?Everyone has his/her preference and i guess he found his in that girl.You don't want to look stupid by telling him if it happens that he knows about it.Leave them alone and get on with your life.
2006-12-04 12:36:43 · answer #7 · answered by Phy A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not! If he's an intelligent, good guy he'll realize eventually that she's not a good match for him. Even more than that, if he's meant to be with you it will happen without you intervening.
2006-12-04 12:37:15 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me as a perfect man :), just kidding would advise you to tell him how you feel cause you might regret it later on badly!
2006-12-04 12:33:40 · answer #9 · answered by mmaskovic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perfect man, perfect woman = impossible dreans.
2006-12-04 14:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by Latino Americano 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋