Recently I moved back in with my mom to help her with my grandpa and to pay off some bills. My mom and I are best friends, but too much of eachother and we go at it. Recently my brother moved back in as well. My brother is horribly irresponsible and does so many things that are not right, but my mother doesn't really do anything to correct it. The other day she caught my brother snorting prescription drugs up his nose. It was like nothing had happened the next day after. Last night I borrowed a DVD of hers and went over to a friends house to watch it. I forgot it at my friends last night, and this morning my mom completely freaked out on me. When we fight, we yell at eachother. To get my point accross I feel like I have to scream. It's like when my brother screws up it's no big deal, but if I slip a little then all hell breaks loose. What is the problem here? And why do I always get the sh*t end of the stick whenever I am not perfect?
2006-12-04 04:25:44 · 17 answers · asked by M R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
let's face it, she your mom and also your best friend...we fight when we have that kind of a relationship. we are so close in the relationship that we are able to be true to our feelings and express them. this hurts each of you, when it's over negative things - but, at least you have honesty, you forgive each, love each. you, also, have to remember when the relationship is going right, it feels comfortable, safe and rewarding. you're hurt because she gets mad at you, but, don't you think she feels the same way at times. but, because we love, we get over it. don't worry about how she treats your brother, she does not know what to do with him and she's acts like she doesn't see, it's easier for her (bad for your brother, of course). but she has expectations of you and when you don't live up to them, she's disappointed in you and that is why she yells. believe me, she loves you (and i'm sure you love her, too). tell each other that and work together, instead of against each other. we all make mistakes, but we don't have to yell about it.
2006-12-04 04:56:23 · answer #1 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is this way with you because she feels closer to you and also because she expects more from you. In other words, she loves your brother but she knows that he isn't as good of a child as you were/are. Don't fuss with her. She is just handling things the best that she can. Maybe she is also feeling stress because she is at a sandwich phase (taking care of her parents as well as her kids) and it is stressful. Respect her as best you can even if you think she is being unfair. She is your mother and there is no other blessing than having a mother who loves you. I have a mother but she has never been much of a mother to me or loved me so you should be thankful for this and always obey her. When you become a mother one day you will understand her more than you ever imagined. Do your best to help her and to support her this holiday season and open your heart to her because she needs you.
2006-12-04 12:50:43 · answer #2 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the relationship between a mother and a daughter is very important. one minute your both fighting the next minute you can wake up and she wont be there. talk to her. tell her how you feel about the way things are going right now. tell her that you arent comfortable with whats going on and that you want a change. if she wants to treat your brother better than you then maybe you should move out again. maybe there by yourself and with friends you will be treated like your sopposed to be treated. its nice that you want to help with your grandfather but at this moment and time its not working. maybe your brother can be a big help. that way the fighting can stop and the relationship will grow. who knows when your gone your mother will come to realize that she wasnt treating you fairly and want to make a change. so talk to her and if things dont change then you can move out again.
2006-12-04 12:46:55 · answer #3 · answered by shanice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother expects the best from you and has given up on your brother.. She is so upset but unable to step in.. she probably feels like a failure with him and gets upset and turns that anger on the person closest to her... The good son... that is always what happens..
It is time for you to move out completely and get your own place, perhaps a room mate will be a better choice.
Once you leave home you should be mature enough to handle your bills, spending and your life. Get your act together and be a responsible man, and move out...
Your mom has enough on her plate without either son complicating her life... Leave and get your brother out of there too..
She has raised you now go... her time should be for spending on herself without having to worry about her Children...
She is tired and has no patience for grown children....she wants her privacy, she earned it...
2006-12-04 12:39:19 · answer #4 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she has higher hopes for you then your brother and that is her way of telling you to be more responsible because she knows in her heart you are. Some people have a hard time showing or telling someone how they feel. Tell her you love her and you don't want to fight over small things like that.
2006-12-04 12:31:01 · answer #5 · answered by bam.... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why women are tougher and stronger in the long run. WE treat boys differently: as mothers; as girlfriends, as wives, etc.
And, if she is truly your best friend...who else can she explode too besides you, because you know she's worried about your brother, but obviously does not know how to cope with his addictions. You don't get the end of the stick, unless that is what you consider yourself because, as her friend, she "takes it out" on you...take a deep breath. Holidays are hard enough.
2006-12-04 12:31:56 · answer #6 · answered by ndngrlz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesn't know how to react to your brothers issues so she reacts badly to you when you make a mistake.As weird as this sounds, she feels more comfortable with you so she lashes out at you for safety.Your family needs help and every one should be involved,if the brother doesn't want to go then form an intervention and get him help that way. There are people out here that are trained to do what we can't do with those we love. Good Luck.
2006-12-04 12:30:34 · answer #7 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, this sounds like my life ....am i correct in assuming that you are the oldest? And that you really have never gotten into any trouble yet your brother has been since birth? I dunno, wish I had the answers...I think women tend to mother their sons because they like to be mothered while we women enjoy being independent...If you are the oldest , well, parents turn us into these lil perfectionist freaks and dont know how to react when we dont fit into their mold....so they FREAK...no, it's sooo not fair...just bring it to your mom's attention, I'm sure she has nooo clue shes doing it...cahnces are she'll just say"well dear, you know your brother has always been a f*ck up, we dont want you to be the same way" PPPPFFFTTTTTTTTT MOVE OUT AS SOON AS YOU CAN TO KEEP YOUR SANITY
2006-12-04 13:05:53 · answer #8 · answered by ~LAX Mom~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she must feel as though their is still some potiential for you thats why she does what she does.... don't be so hard on her.. instead try talking with her.. you may find out that she has taken on so much that sometimes she feels the need to vent.. to take it out on you is obviously no excuse... but please give her some credit... as for the screwup... well mom is probably a smart woman that realize there is no hope, don't think she gave you the sh*t end of stick... instead think of what she gave you as alot of care.... the two of you need to get together, have a mature conversation.... should that be possible.....
2006-12-04 13:23:00 · answer #9 · answered by ﺸÐïåMóñdÐôññåﺸ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to tell your mom whats up you help here out your bro dont do **** it should be the opposite way around so sit here down and have a talk let her know that your just trying to help and if you wanted to you would move because its getting old of her picking sides and not caring what the hell your bro is doing ,,,
2006-12-04 12:33:54 · answer #10 · answered by Danielle S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋