I am currently a Mormon and while I was on a mission I met a man who gave me a book by Sam Harris called "Letter to a christian nation" Well I read it and it at first made me angry but then I decided to do some more research and I read a few more books by people like Richard Dawkins and Daniel Dennet, Well Growing up as a Mormon I never realized how insane our church's beliefs were and how unrealistic they actually were. My problem is that I am an active member of the church plus my parents would completely disown me if they knew that I don't believe anymore. Should I stay true to my beliefs and quit the church and move away? or Pretend to be someone im not out of respect for my family?
2006-12-04 04:17:37 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I guess growing up into this religion I never questioned it but I can see that the more I learn and question the less I believe.
2006-12-04 04:19:47 · update #1
Be true to yourself! And great choices in Books!! Now spread the word...My mom is Super Christian but I'm wearing her down as days go by...I catch her in the typical Hypocrisy. you don't have to move away but educate yourself as much as you can so that you can have ammo to argue back ...im telling you the more you know the better off you will be. Peace
2006-12-04 04:22:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should definitely be true to yourself and your beliefs. It may be the case that your parents will be disappointed and frustrated, and may even get angry, but they are your parents and I would hope they would love you regardless. However, when you tell them you should be sure you can explain yourself and beliefs. It shouldn't be necessary, but they are you parents and it would be the respectful thing to do, as I'm sure you hope for respect in return also.
Now, I think you are misguided about a lot of things and don't really understand the Mormon faith, even if you went on a mission, etc; there are many returned missionaries who fail to gain a true understanding of the Church. I have read many of the books out there that rag on Mormonism and also the teachings within the church and always end up where I began. Some people may think I'm crazy, but the Mormon faith is completely logical to me. Lastly, no matter what you read, you will believe nothing without a confirmation from God. At this point in your life I would hope you believe God answers prayers, because he does. Call me crazy, but I have received revelation, seen angels, and been brought to my knees. There is no denying God.
Good luck with whatever you decide. Feel free to email me if you have other questions, although I don't profess to be beyond the wisdom of anyone else.
2006-12-05 08:34:42 · answer #2 · answered by straightup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you stay in a belief system you are not happy with, you will come to resent your family, and your anger will eventually show.
Adult life is so difficult - because we have to come to such choices - things we never imagine as children. I am so sorry for you. But I do believe that it must be God who has allowed you to see things in a new way. He must be guiding you . . . so follow.
Your family will be upset, and may well disown you. But if they are wise, they will eventually realize that they can't control your beliefs as an adult, and they will reform a relationship with you. Time does do amazing things.
Do you have to move away? Is there another church you could go to where you are? Surely the people in that church would help you through what will be a difficult time, and yet you will still be in the same place as your family should they want to see you.
I wanted to say that, as you may know by now, there are a lot of wonderful books out there about leaving Mormonism. You aren't alone. One book though that I like (I've never been Mormon, just read it with interest) is one by Martha Beck, "Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith". Another good one for you would be "Leaving the Fold: Candid Conversations With Inactive Mormons" by James W. Ure.
Be true to yourself - although the interim will be rough, in the long run, only being true to yourself and your God with make you truly happy, as you deserve to be, with or without your family's approval.
2006-12-04 04:31:03 · answer #3 · answered by Mac 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Oh my goodness what a dilema. Well I'm not a mormon but I do know of how mormon beliefs differ from mainline christianity. That is a tough one. I would have to know more about your possible alternative to know how to advise you. What situation would you move into and how would you make a living? Is being disowned by your family something that your sure will happen and do you have a church you would go to instead of mormon church to support you? I have to say the bible does speak on this and the verse may seem a bit harsh.
Luk 14:26 If any [man] come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
Luk 14:27And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.
Not that Jesus is asking you to hate anyone, the fruit of the Spirit is love, but the language is comparative. Love for Christ should be supreme.
I was looking at Chuck Smiths commentary on this verse for help and he says again and again to "count the cost". Many over the years have lost families and their very lives for Christ...if you want to be His disciple you will count the cost and pick up your cross and follow him. No matter what. Your love for Christ should be over your love for anyone else. Usually it does not have to conflict, but our relationships in a perfect world would compliment. But in times like these, I would advise you to count the cost and be wise.
Can you wait, if your not of age, and respect your parents beliefs even if they are in error and wait until you are old enough to be on your own and follow your own faith? Is it possible that they can accept you if you are patient and explain things to them and let them know how you believe and why. Maybe it's not as dire as you may assume. Good luck and God bless.
2006-12-04 04:44:18 · answer #4 · answered by sheepinarowboat 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honestly, I am proud of you for actually researching about your own religion. That is the best way to either (1) strengthen your faith or (2) realize your mistakes.
I would actually have to agree with you about the Mormon Church. I love to study religions, and this one especially perplexes me with all of the seeming...differences... So yes, I believe that you should quit the Church and follow your beliefs. Your parents truly do love you...(parents love their children, no matter what you think)...so *if* they do disown you, they will eventually realize their mistake and will welcome you back into the family. I KNOW this from experience.
Good luck and God bless. <3
2006-12-04 05:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by purplmonkeez 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I went through the same thing as you, only I was raised catholic. It caused a lot of hardships, and my family refused to go to my wedding because I did not marry in the church. However, after 15 years, they now respect me for having the guts to question what is not logical and for seeking the truth.
If you go your own way, they will probably be mad at you and may even disown you for a while like you said. But do you want to seek the truth, live your own life, or live a life for your parents?
Good luck whatever you decide, and I commend you for even pondering taking this big step.
2006-12-04 04:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by Rosebee 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you practice something that you dont believe in then you would be considered a hypocrit. But then again, arent we all to some degree. It would be a shame if your own family were to disown you for having your own beliefs. If you stay with the church I think you will be miserable, but that doesnt mean that you have to move away.Try discussing it openly with them and see what happens. It's not your religion that counts to God, it's the fact that you do believe and trust in him. The bible doesnt sya what religion you have to be as long as you have faith the size of a mustard seed.
2006-12-04 04:32:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to decide whether you want to be true to yourself, or be true to your church and family. The problem with that is, however, if you choose your church and family, you won't be being true to them either, because you will be living a lie with them.
Follow your belief, and take the consequences. That is hard, but to not do it will be even harder on you in the long run.
Your family will have ot make its own choices. It's not for you to separate yourself from them, and perhaps they will be able ot live with your decision after all. But that's their choice.
2006-12-04 04:25:15 · answer #8 · answered by Mr Ed 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sweetie,
Bless your heart. I've been in a situation so similar to yours. (Also from mormon country but I was raised as a fundy.)
It is a very difficult situation you are in - there is no easy solution. First, you have my admiration for having the courage to look at the challenge to your faith. Having been through this I would have to say that "belief" isn't a matter of choice. (I'm so relieved to see so many answers above mine echoing the same sentiment) If someone held a GUN to your head and said "believe in santa or I'll shoot you" you might be able to SAY you believe, but really choosing belief isn't a matter of choice. Similar to your beliefs now.
If your parents are like mine, they will sense a difference in your religious beliefs and PUSH until you have "the conversation." A couple of things that might help are: to write "the conversation" in a letter, if you think it will be difficult, (also, avoid the word "atheist" - that seems to trigger people. "It's fine not to believe in god, but you can't be an ATHEIST!!!!), and most importantly, tell them that you love and respect them A LOT. Keep saying "we have one difference now, but the morals you taught me, the respect I have for you hasn't changed." They will need to hear this often.
I live 1000 miles from my parents. I don't know how hard it would have been to live close to them and to have made this decision. (My guess is, a lot harder)
Please email me if you ever wanna talk. I tried to email you but you disallow it. My email is on my profile. Best wishes to you! You'll be in my thoughts.
p.s. One more thing. A nice resource for you would be http://ex-christian.net/ - a support group for people "coming out" of christianity. Check out their forums!
2006-12-04 04:24:55 · answer #9 · answered by Black Parade Billie 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Yes! You can still attempt to stay with your family. I have a friend who recently converted to Christianity out of Mormonism and his parents still let him live with them. They were sad and disappointed, but they respected his choice.
If you don't believe anymore, it's not worth trying to pretend. You can't live a lie. It will catch up to you at some point. It's also a waste of your time.
2006-12-04 04:21:52 · answer #10 · answered by BaseballGrrl 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋