My 14 year old daughter went to a friends house and snuck out to see this boy she likes. He is 18, I just found out that she slept at his house. So I am asuming that she is no longer as innocent as she was just 2 days ago. Her older sister goes to the same high school and is furious with this boy as well as her sister, I'm alsi furious but... I dont know what to do...do I have this kid arrested?We have warned him to stay away from my daughter already. If my other daughter tells her Dad what has happened my 14 year old will not be allowed to see the light of day.She is on an all star cheer team and this is a very positive thing for her to be doing right now, he will take this from her. What do I do? I dont know if I should have this kid arrested, do I tell her Dad? Help..............
2006-12-04 03:52:53 · 35 answers · asked by skipper 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Arrested for what? Her sneaking over to his house? If you're that concerned, sit down with the both of them, and tell him you're having a restraining order placed on him to stay away from your daughter - who is too young for him, but too naive to know any difference.
All kids did this at one point in time - remember when you were young!
Also, tell her that her Father will take cheering away from her if she does it again - because you'll tell him - and maybe that will "scare her" into not doing it any longer.
I think you need to get the older boy and his parents involved here, and threaten police involvement or a restraining order. That might help as well.
Good luck - be firm, but not too hard!
2006-12-04 03:58:50 · answer #1 · answered by gatesfam@swbell.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a definite problem with any 18 year old male who finds it necessary to play around with a 14 year old girl. I realize that based upon what you have at hand its prudent to assume sexual contact took place. However to make a case this is something you'd have to be absolutely sure of before even going forward with this. Now comes the sticky part. How to approach her and get the answer you may very well dread. To complicate matters the all star cheer leading team is now at risk.
I think my first inclination is to find out from her just what took place. The next is to ensure you don't find that you're going to be a grandmother. The last is to lodge a complaint with the police. At 18 you should be cognizant of the fact that playing around with a juvenile will result in consequences. It will no doubt cause some friction between you and your daughter but think....if the kid's father finds out and then finds out you knew and did nothing, any decent relationship you have with the ex may be damaged as well. better find out what exactly occurred between your daughter and the 18 year old, discuss this with your ex and then if necessary press it further. I would plan on making it the topic of discussion tonight between you, her and your ex.
Good luck. God Bless and I've been this exact same route 20 years ago. It wasn't any pleasure then either.
2006-12-05 01:42:52 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means tell her Father, why should you protect her. The boy should not be arrested, remember she went to the boys house, she need to take some of the responsibility also, Sit her down and explain, how her life can be screwed up for a one night stand. Tell her, she will have plenty of time to be out their, and if she grows up too fast, that is an innocence that she will never get back. What she needs to do is concentrate on school, so that she can prepare herself for the outside world. because it is not easy out their. what you are trying to do is give her all of the tools, so that she can make it! Now tell her, no more sleep over!
2006-12-04 04:10:13 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go over to this kids house and talk to his parents also. He is considered too old for your 14 yr. old and threaten to call the police on him.. this will make him think about what he is doing. Your 14 needs to be talked to about this also. I would give her all the details including having him arrested which should change her mind about revisiting him any time soon. I would opt not to tell her father as she will need to remain on the cheer team as this would be the only time she would be let out of the house for quite some time if you ground her. Start with the 18 yr. and put the fear of jail time in him..
2006-12-04 04:05:13 · answer #4 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your daughter needs a reality check and having her daddy know and getting cheerleading taken away from her is the best thing for her right now. You said she snuck out to see this kid, so what isn't she being punished? You seem more upset with the boy than with your own daughter. She's the one that's doing stuff behind you and your husbands back.
2006-12-04 04:01:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Parenting is a partnership. Yes, tell her dad. And have this 18 yr. old arrested. And your daughter shouldn't be able to see the light of day, since she disrespected your rules and herself. Parents are suppose to protect their children, especially when their not old enough to know or make the right decisions. And to be honest, he may not had been her first. Take her to the doctor to get a physical and birth control. Unless you want grand kids too soon.
2006-12-04 04:59:23 · answer #6 · answered by Mother of 2 girls 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her dad... don't arrest the kid for that cause teens do dumb *** stuff all the time like that.. Hell, i remeber doing it when i was a teen but a lot worse. Sending him to jail is a little extreme unless it happens repeatedly...then i'd understand, but try sitting down with both of them and warning them that if this continues then she'll be off the team and daddy will be informed of their behavior and the young man will be behind bars...and let them know you're not playing!!! You're a good mom for seeking advice about this before going off the hinges and from one mom to another good for you for not putting up with it. We let kids get away with way to much nowdays, but you're doing a good thing. Be strict and take control of the situation. Good luck!!!
2006-12-04 04:35:44 · answer #7 · answered by Jontue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out if she is still "innocent" before you do anything. If she is not "innocent" I would tell her dad and the 2 of you could decide wether to prosicute the boy or not. That would be a really hard on your daughter at school. What if she turns up preagnant? How would you tell her father then? If she is still "innocent" I would tell her if it happens again you will tell her dad and make her quite the cheerleading team. Good luck.
2006-12-04 04:09:14 · answer #8 · answered by angie a 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ground her hard-core but let her stay on the cheer team. She needs positive influences, if the dad would remove those and over-react dangerously then he shouldn't be informed yet. However, if she continues to act out he should be informed.
Don't have the kid arrested yet, since your daughter was a willing and knowledgeable partner. But keep your eye on him for sure! Though if you mentioned arrest TO him, he'd probably back off real fast.
2006-12-04 03:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by kiddo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do u want to have him arrested the more u try to separate them the more they want to be together. Why dint u want this guy with Ur daughter because of the age difference or is he a bad guy u should think about that. if anything did happen I'm sure it was consensual. About telling her dad I dint think think that u should hide things from him want if he finds out then hell be even more mad at both of u and the punishment might be worse.
2006-12-04 04:45:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋