I am still in love with him. He broke up with me just over a month ago. Now he wants to go out for coffee. Should I go?
2006-12-04 03:49:26 · 40 answers · asked by Jenny S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Although I want to say no, I know that I would do it in a heartbeat. The best thing to do is break it off cleanly, but I have never been good at that, especially when I still have feelings for the person. Try to remember the pain he put you through the first time. Are you willing to risk it again?
2006-12-04 03:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by Rebecca 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it's just coffee and it's been a month? Could be ok. But be careful! If he wants to go back out again, say no. If it didn't work the first time, it won't work the second time. But then again it all depends on WHY he broke up with you. If you just get back together with him, he's going to think it's ok to break up with you whenever he wants to chase some other tail and then you'll just take him back with open arms. Don't be so easy. Don't let "coffee" turn into dinner, then drinks, etc. Do it at lunch or first thing in the morning.
2006-12-04 03:52:37 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia 604 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're in love with him...that's great. Don't be afraid to take the chance. Be honest with yourself about "why" he's asking you out though. If you plan on getting back together with him, be prepared to deal with some issues also.
First things first, it's just coffee. If you miss him and love him, then yea, go and see what happens.
Be careful though. Ask yourself a few questions while you're there..
1. Is this a booty call? We've been apart for awhile, and is he just getting horny and going to leave after sleeping with me again?
Solution: If you meet up with him, limit your time, and don't take it home. If he really wants you back, he'll call for a second meeting/date.
2. Are you prepared to deal with anything he has maybe done in the last month since you've been apart? Again, be honest with yourself here. What would you do or say, if he's admits or you find out a month from now through friends (when you're back together) that during your time apart, he slept with one or two people? Would you feel betrayed and pissed, or would you have a level head and say "eh, **it happens, you weren't with me so it's ok".
That's about all I can think of right now...but I wish you luck..
mj
2006-12-04 03:56:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coffee wouldn't hurt a thing. Just beware if he's just looking for a booty call. You didn't say whether you have kids, but coffee might be a good habit to get into so you can remain friendly for the kids sake. Otherwise you might want to simply forget you made a mistake and move on if there's no hope of getting back together.
2006-12-04 03:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by matters 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on why you broke up? I mean did he cheat? Or did you cheat? Cheating is a very unforgivable. I actually was married and my husband cheated. A year later he came back saying how much he loved me and I took him back...I couldnt get over it...I ended up breaking it off with him 8 months after...So it does really depend on what happened. Because that 8 months was a waste of my time and his. But on the other hand I was still in love with him when he wanted me back and if I wouldn't have went back I would have never known......U know? So it just depends on if what he did or even what you did was unforgivable. Because if not....its not worth your time....And as hard as it may be you have to get over him! It may not be the best answer or even what you want to hear....
2006-12-04 04:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by Just here. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well like I always say "do you go back in the trash to get something a month ago"? If its just coffee ok. Never say no to a free coffee. If he says he wants more I don't know if its right.
2006-12-04 03:53:14 · answer #6 · answered by Mellow_kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, you should!! What's the worst that can happen? You said you still love him....maybe he's still in love with you...maybe he just wants to touch base and see how you're doing...you'll never know unless you go!
But, don't go with ANY expectations! Just look at it as two old friends meeting up for a cup of coffee and to catch up on old times...he will respect you SO much more if he sees that you're not pining away for him and that you have dealt with the break-up in a mature manner.
Best of luck to you!!!
2006-12-04 03:53:16 · answer #7 · answered by Tracy G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If you're still in love with him, you're not ready to be friends because you'll be wanting so much more.
You need an interim to get over him. Then, after you're over him, you need to see if you want to be friends with him. Then and only then will it be beneficial to your mental health to go.
To me, it sounds like he's having second thoughts about the break up. Still, you two broke up for a reason. It was his decision, now he has to live with it. Don't do him any favors by seeing him.
2006-12-04 03:53:54 · answer #8 · answered by jolt9157 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think you should. If you still love him then you'll regret it if you don't go. But don't go in the frame of mind that the two of you are going to get back together. It's just coffee, and keep it at that. Enjoy his company and act normal. If he signifies he wants more then that's something to have to make your own mind up about, but for now just go for coffee and enjoy yourself.
2006-12-04 03:55:07 · answer #9 · answered by Ally 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just coffee. Why not? But you have to understand it's just coffee and not an invitation to get back together so if u can control your feelings then go.
2006-12-04 03:53:43 · answer #10 · answered by Risky_Bizness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋