I made dinner for my boyfriend because I thought he was coming over to watch a movie. He never called that day to speak with me or to cancel. He then sent me a AIM message and we chatted for a little bit and he said he had to go work on his paper. I assumed we were still getting together as planned so I called him. He said that he could not tonight because he had to write a research paper. I asked why did he not tell me earlier as I had other things I could have done. He then sent me a text message later saying that I was right and he was wrong for not keeping his plans with me and asked if I could forgive him (I did not respond) What should I do to make sure he never does this again. I am very upset and hurt. Why did he do this?How can I teach him a lesson in an adult mature manner rather than a break up at this point, however if you feel that this warrents a break up please let me know.
Thanks guys!
2006-12-04 02:29:39 · 16 answers · asked by Queen459789 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you feel that you have to "teach him a lesson", then you should probably break up with him. Either you think he's a child, or you just don't trust him. If you want the relationship to continue, you should talk to him and communicate your expectations.
2006-12-04 02:36:14 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he had a paper to work on and forgot about your dinner date. He wasn't clubbing or out drinking with his friends, he was doing schoolwork to better himself so that he can achieve more in life. That's probably why he didn't call that day and why he didn't think anything was wrong when he AIM'ed you. He DID apologize later (well, he said you were right and asked you to forgive him) and DIDN'T make excuses for his behavior or try to blame you.
If this happens all the time then I'd say dump him because he doesn't have time for you. IF he simply forgot because he had a paper to do, well, there's alot worse things that could happen to you.
No offense intended, but you seem a little possessive and unyielding in your expectations of him. He's your boyfriend not your husband.
2006-12-04 10:50:05 · answer #2 · answered by Mitch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the first question that comes to mind is you said that you made dinner plans because you thought he would be over. Did he tell you that he would be over or did you assume? Guys do that occassionally, women do that to men too though. This does not warrant a break-up and he did try to apologize. I reccommend being the bigger person here and forgiving him. There might come a time when you'll have other plans and have to cancel on him at the last moment.
2006-12-04 10:50:13 · answer #3 · answered by ambr95012 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already have. You expressed your feelings in a concise, adult manner, and he apologized. It's now up to him to keep his word and not do it again. He probably did it because he was swamped and completely forgot about a paper in a class he hates anyway (something every student ever has done at least once.)
By the way...the whole concept of "Teaching him a lesson" is not adult at all (it might work if you're dating a Pomeranian). He's got to LEARN his lesson in an adult manner. You speaking to him was your "teaching". Relationships are not about revenge. Those that are will be doomed to failure.
2006-12-04 10:36:58 · answer #4 · answered by eXie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's writing a paper I assume you are both fairly young, my guess is he either got scared at the last minute or just agreed to the date to make you happy without thinking about that paper. I hate to say it but while in school, it should be your priority because it will effect your career and income, overall survivability, the rest of your lives, so you have to make those fruitcake professors happy. That aside, maybe some interrogation is in order, ask him if he got scared for some reason, or about his paper he was working on. If he was partying with buddies tell him he's a jerk. If he was messing with another woman, tell him to get lost.
2006-12-04 10:35:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him a text back saying, "We need to talk." Then when he comes over, tell him how he made you feel. Make him feel bad about it then he already did. Sure enough, he isnt going to do it again after you tell him all this and make him feel bad. Then i think everything will be alright. The thing about why he did it. Well im not sure about that. Guys really cant make up there minds on what there going to do. [no offense to anyone] but, i really think you 2 will be fine. =] good luck
2006-12-04 10:35:16 · answer #6 · answered by bananaboo517 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
was this the first time he had done this? If so, then let it go. Don't waste your time on such a minor overthought. He sounds like his education is very important to him and you should respect that. if this becomes a habit then that is a different story.
it also sounds like there was no communication to confirm your plans with him. You could have asked when you were AIM'ing. You assumed and as the saying goes assume means making an *** out of u and me. (get it???)
2006-12-04 10:42:07 · answer #7 · answered by tonaloha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the one to break it to you and please don't be upset with me, but if he sent you a text message saying he was sorry for not keeping plans with you, rather than call you to discuss this personally...he was really either out with someone else or somewhere with the boys....
2006-12-04 10:33:48 · answer #8 · answered by favrd1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it only happened once, there is no need to break up. Let him know how much this upsets you. If this happens over and over then leave.
2006-12-04 10:33:02 · answer #9 · answered by Confused 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you are making more out of this than it is. idk...... I would say talk to him. I'm sure he was doing his paper. Things come up.....stuff happens. Let it go. At least he didn't lie to you. Good Luck:)
God Bless and Be Safe:)
2006-12-04 10:34:02 · answer #10 · answered by Yeah it's me................ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋