I've my relationship (engaged) with my bf and we gonna married next year. He's from the States and I am from Dominican Republic. well, as his wife i will become, he wants me to go the states and live with him together. For that, we need the visa. he had been working alot and me too for save up money. Yesterday we were talking about the spends it requires for succeed the marriage visa which is kinda expensive ($600-1000 dls). he told me what we gonna do is to share the spends (each of us will pay the half-to-half). I didnt offended by that, but im just wondering if in the future things will be this way. Is this correct? I mean i'm not a spoil who wants everyhing-i-wish and neither I dont have any problem sharing.
is this a good sign of a good marriage? i mean,... the fact of know how to share things with your couple... can someone clear up this to me?
I will appreciate even more answers from experience ppl, thanks in advanced!
2006-12-04 02:21:58 · 26 answers · asked by *live,laugh,love* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, in the states, because a lot of females want to be the few, the majoity and the chosen ones over the men, we have become a country where everything is shared 50/50. There are still a few of us who believe that a mans wages should be to pay the bills and a womans wages are meant for those extra things in life that you would not normally have, Yes, he is just acting the way he was raised.
Now for the other question, is he worth leaving your family and your lifestyle all behind, because I can tell you things are alot different here.
Good luck!!!!!
2006-12-04 02:28:18 · answer #1 · answered by Jack Knauf 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age it is sad to think that we still think one spouse is suppose to pay everything. The economy is such that this way of living is becoming increasingly difficult. Why do you think women are now a staple in the working force? At first it was by choice but now it has become a necessity. So focus on something else other than thinking he is suppose to pay everything for you. I mean he could have said to hell with you...I am here now I will find a woman here and forget about you. You should never enter a marriage with this type of thinking. He will be your husband and not your father. A woman should be willing and able to invest equally in the success of a relationship. It should be what you expect for years to come. Just like you would expect him to help out around the house, if you are working you should be willing to contribute financially. What you expect to get here and just relax at home? Oh , let me guess. You are gonna be a house wife? If you are thinking that you had better wake up pretty quick. Cause if you guys gotta save to get that amount of money I am pretty sure neither of you are executives in a fortune 500 company. So love each other and do your part and stop wanting the man to do it all cause we can't. Its just that simple.
2006-12-04 10:49:10 · answer #2 · answered by Wordsmith 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is being smart and fair. He is not asking you to take on the total expense, but neither should he. You are both working hard to save the money. Things will be different when you get here probably, as your money will get pooled to try to meet each of your needs together. Many blessings for a successful marriage and a happy life.
2006-12-04 10:30:17 · answer #3 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about sharing and I don't believe it's fair for one of you paying for the entire thing or 1 pays 3/4 and the other pays 1/4. It's more fair. You both want to get married and live together, therefore you both should contribute.
2006-12-04 10:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by Angie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well a lot of men get scammed by the foreign bride deal, which is bad for those like you who are sincere, for many they send the money and never hear from the woman again, if in indeed it wasn't a man using a woman's photo the whole time. But yes, 50/50 is what a marriage is and should be, side by side as partners, not one leading the other like a dog.
2006-12-04 10:27:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is pure opinion, I have no experience in visas (however I have been married a little while; 12 years)
I think that the main idea of your question is "Do you think he's not going to fully provide when we get married?"
Honestly, I think the idea of you paying half is your way of saying to him that "I love you, and I don't want to use you for your money, SEE I have my own!" I think after you get married and have children and want to stay home and care for the children and him, he will be happy with that. I just think he wants to feel as if you want to come to the states as bad as he does.
Congradulations on your engagement!
2006-12-04 10:30:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well yes, a successful (good) marriage is all about sharing. Sharing financial responsibilities and other things as well. If you really get down to it, when you marry someone, there should no longer be a division of things, especially money. Both of you should be contributing to the overall household income and everything should be done for a common goal. There should be no more thinking in terms of "I" and "Me", rather it should be "us". Good Luck to you.
2006-12-04 10:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by favrd1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is completely fair. My boyfriend and I try to share as much as we can right now. He helps out a lot around the house since he isn't employed yet. I would ask him about the sharing because there are some things that should be completely him, like an engagement ring, and other things that should be shared, meals and whatnot. Definitely check and see what kind of man you are getting.
2006-12-04 10:26:19 · answer #8 · answered by ambr95012 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not married, but I have heard that marriage takes two. Sharing is a big part of of a marriage. If it ever becomes a problem, just talk to him. Open communication is key. congratulations on the engagement:)
God Bless and Be Safe:)
2006-12-04 10:27:55 · answer #9 · answered by Yeah it's me................ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is fair,when your with some one every thing of yours now become our to a point(you and him), and every thing of your loved one also become yours to a point,meaning you both share the responsibilities.It's not fair when all the weight is put on one person eg. paying bills,buying food,household appliances etc.It is a good sign of good marriage,and the point meaning you would not want to lose that relationship by being to controlling,you both have to take time to socialize with friends,once you have trust,love and understanding your marriage should be till death do you part.
GOOD LUCK
2006-12-04 10:34:20 · answer #10 · answered by leah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋