For parents of teens and grown kids...?

Question

I want to get closer to my parents, but I just don't know how to do it; we've never been a really close-knit family, and now I think it might be too late. My parents are long since divorced by the way, so I need a way to connect with my mother, and another way to connect with my father (with whom I rarely speak).

Answer 1

It is never to late to get close with your parents. call your dad ask him if he would like to get together for dinner or something. ask your mom if she would like to go shopping or something. just don't give up. and keep trying. tell them how you feel, that you want to be close to them ( each in their own way). and you want to be able to tell them anything. but just remember it is never to late to try as long as both are alive.

Answer 2

Some families are simply not close knit by habit more than anything else. My partner who is in his fifties has grown closer to his parents in the last few years simply by writing them letters and sending them photos of what he is doing. Where once their phone calls involved a hello a few mumbled sentences and then a good bye they tend to spend over an hour on the phone every time they call.

As for my parents, I tried so hard to get close to them.... and kept getting hurt... you know the saying if you keep doing what you always did you keep getting what you always got.... well that was case with trying to get close with either of my parents... when trying to be close with them got my kids hurt... well that was time to grow up,stop needing these people who were simply NOT going to give me what I needed and move right along making my life with my children.

Answer 3

IMHO:

If you're an adult: Decide what kind of relationship you want with your parents. Do you want to be friends? If so, treat them as you would a friend. Resist the temptation to let them parent you. That job ended when you turned 18. Release expectations and disappointments about the past. Release expectations about the future. Don't demand answers... Befriend them and your answers will come.

Remember: They're human and imperfect. They may not want to admit past mistakes. Ask for what you want and let go of the results.

See The Serenity Prayer if it gets overwhelming.

If you're a kid: This is tough. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want, and remember that your parents are human. They may not give you exactly what you want, but your sincere efforts to build a relationship with them will still pay off in a better relationship.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Its never to late, trust me. Being divorced doesnt mean its going to be any harder to getclose to them. Just connect with your mom by slowly introducing her to your life. Since I'm assuming your grown or alomost grown, so just call her up and invite her out to lunch, dinner or just hold a phone conversation. Let her know that you want to be closer to her then you've been in the passed. She'll appreciate the honesty and willingness to have a relationship with her.

As with your father, well since you say to rarely speak to him I guess thats a good place to start. Talk with him more, tell him things you know he wants to hear.... like if your independant, your job, if you have a good man in your life. Things like that. Let him feel like a father, not just a phone call. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Phone call and a visit is a good place to start. I don't know of too many parents that won't go for a relationship with their kids, especially if the kids make the first move. Just go for it.

Answer 6

Tell each of them that you have invented a parent day where you'll go out with a parent for the day and do the stuff the parent chooses! Do it every couple of months or so.

We used to do this with our kids so we had time with them on an individual basis. My husband with one and me the other. They got to choose all the things we'd do and it was a chance for them to be on their own with one of us!

Answer 7

its never to late to be close again with your parents no matter how far u drift apart in the past, all u have to do is show them u have changed, if they didn't like some ways about you in the past u don't have to prove anything to them and one very important thing u have to communicate by talking with them and be patient

as a parent i would always accept my kids no matter how bad relation was bad in the past they are part of me

Answer 8

Go out with them and do something nice together. Dinner or watch a game with one of your parents. Visit them once in a while or give them a call to see how they are doing.

Answer 9

i'm a newborn of divorce, and albeit, i think of it grow to be for the extra useful. My mothers and fathers do no longer argue as lots now that they are separate, and in my opinion, the persons whose mothers and fathers are nevertheless mutually are tousled. think of approximately it: people who stay in a companion and youngsters the place the person function fashions are continually bickering to a minimum of one yet another don't have lots of a typical early existence adventure and which could honestly reason rigidity. they'd additionally grow to be angrier extra often while you evaluate that's what they many times see at domicile while infants with divorced mothers and fathers do no longer see it as lots by way of fact they're separated. So no, i do no longer think of they might have as lots issues as with mothers and fathers who're nevertheless mutually.

Answer 10

It's Christmas time, This would be a wonderful time to reconnect with them. a simple, heartfelt card will suffice