I feel so deeply traumatised having been dumped 6 months ago. I have recovered a lot through time, and I have tried to date other girls. However, is it normal to feel so hollow, withered and weak inside? My heart feels like it's in hibernation and I find it so hard to cheer up.
Anyone have any decent advice? I know time is a healer and they say, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I am sorry - but I strongly disagree. What doesn't kill you, injures you severely.
thanks guys
2006-12-04 02:11:09 · 10 answers · asked by Christian_80 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don't give up...at rock bottom, at least you know it can't get any worse, it can only get better
was this your first serious relationship? Those are the hardest to get over and the ones that change/shape us the most. They also seem to be what we base every relationship after on too. What good things did you take from this relationship? Any bad things you have learned about yourself? Evaluate this relationship and then file it away where it belongs. Until you deal with this relationship being over in a proper, healthier way, you will never truly get past it and you will carry unwanted baggage into future relationships. Look at it like learning experiences that are preparing you for the woman who will eventually come along who was made for you. In the meantime, stop focusing so much on it and the opposite sex and find healthy things to keep you busy- like the gym (good place to meet new people!) or sign up for a fun class at the community college...anything productive!
This time of sadness is temporary, and will pass
PEACE
2006-12-04 02:21:56 · answer #1 · answered by kimandchris2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there bra, I dumped her but that doesn't make it any less painful. I was a bit self indulgent about the pain and looking back I really wallowed in it, 20 years later I still think of her every day.
Here is what I should have done. You gotta treat emotional pain like physical pain or you will create your own mental scars. Don't focus on the pain, quit analyzing, you have formed painful thought loops, you gotta break those loops and make a strong effort to push them away every time.
2006-12-04 10:39:36 · answer #2 · answered by tenbadthings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is this: don't let anyone determine your timetable for you. Six months seems like a long time to some people. So what? You know yourself and you know how you feel. You're approaching this from a perspective of "just trying to cheer up" and that never works. Just allow yourself to feel what you feel. You're allowed to still be hurting, as long as you're able to function and do the everyday things that you need to get done. If you're not able to do that, I would suggest counseling.
2006-12-04 10:37:31 · answer #3 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, they lie. Time isn't the healer, recovery is. And what doesn't kill you doesn't make you stronger, it makes you gunshy.
You need to grieve your loss. This is a process and it is well outlined in a few different books. But if you never grieve for your loss then you won't heal. Actually what you'll do instead is become callous, if you are lucky enuff to live thru the event.
2006-12-04 10:12:30 · answer #4 · answered by Red Winged Bandit 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you know you hit rock bottom the only way to go is back up...You need to start feelin and think positive about life and of yourself...Live and learn and by loving you will be hurt again...this is just a part of life...Alteast you will know how to cope with it...Good Luck!
2006-12-04 10:16:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you but you still need to go on some how. You shouldn't count on other relationships to feel better because it might get worse or you might get hurt again or hurt some body.
face your self with the facts and try to deal with them each one at the time.
Don't start any new relationship now just be with your friends and your family, forget about love for a while, get your self busy, do manly stuff with your friends
2006-12-04 10:21:59 · answer #6 · answered by Princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered a relationship with Jesus Christ? The reason you feel so down and in the dumps is because human relationships aren't as fulfilling as what a relationship with Christ can be like. He can fill that empty void deep down in your soul. Your aches, pains and sorrows. He says, come to me all who are weary and heavy laden.
If you truly want to know more then please let me know. I would love the opportunity to share this with you.
2006-12-04 10:15:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
time may not heal all wounds but you can think of it this way...
there is always someone out there for everyone and god has something planned for all of us. we were not put on this earth for material things, we were put here to serve our lord and with that i would say Pray! good things come to those who wait.
say a lil prayer and trust in god. with god you will always be loved!good luck, and 6 months to me for getting over something like that isn't enough time.you'll see give it a lil more time :)
2006-12-04 10:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by ///\oo/\\\ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing someone can say to make you feel better, no one can do this but you. Give it time...I know everyone says this but it is so true. You will meet someone else, you will fall in love again. Hang in there it will get better.
2006-12-04 10:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by Confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 months and you still feel this way not good . if this feeling is interfearing with your life work or play sleep or apitight or comes with very much unwanted thoughts then you should see a doctor
if this contiunes more then another months without a big improvement see your doctor,
2006-12-04 10:14:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋