My siblings are 50 and 54 respectively and are basically bums. They mooch off of my mother and soon she will not have a savings left. She already pays their bills and hands them over cash. When my father passed away my mother put my name on the accounts -- is their anything I can do to protect my mother? She feels sorry for my siblings -- but they have caused their own financial difficulty with drugs, alcohol, and gambling. Help!
2006-12-04 01:54:53 · 11 answers · asked by Isabel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your mother is "not with it" then you can ask ther courts to make you her legal guardian. If she is "with it" then not too much you can do about it. You said your name on the accounts, is your mothers also on it? If not just start saying no and pay your mothers bills, stop the gravy train for the siblings. If your mother is not on the accounts, she has no legal say in what happens to the accounts.
2006-12-04 02:00:07 · answer #1 · answered by bubbles_grandpa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get copies of the bank statements...SHOW your mother how much money she is spending a month. Show her how much she has left, divide that by the amount she spends each month and explain to her just exactly how long her funds will last if she continues to spend at this rate. Maybe all she needs is an eye opener to the fact that she will soon be in the poor house with nobody to care for her!~ It's very hard for a parent to tell a child no...no matter how old that child is...but she needs to hear it..first hand....it's gonna hurt..but she'll be better off in the long run! Good luck...time for some tough love...from you & Mom
2006-12-04 10:56:26 · answer #2 · answered by Shelly B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a nice sit down talk with your mother. show her the bank account and what she has left in it, then show her all the bills that need paid every month and figure out how long it will be before this money is gone.tell her that she can not keep giving to these bums.if you have to beings your name is also on the account tell your mom that your going to take so much of it out and open a sep. account so that she will have some money if she is going to keep giving it to them.or tell you bum brothers that the well is dry and that there will be no more hand outs. talk to the bank maybe they can help you out if you feel that your mother is not capable of making the right choices when it comes to her money.
2006-12-04 10:02:18 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The legal door is part open by having your name on the accounts. Get power of attorney and have living will drawn up and signed documents. Announce this to your mother that it is happening now, today with appointment at notary or legal.com. Trusts are better and more pricey, but legal could be consulted once your mother names executor for the estate when the time comes (this is under trust establishment).
There are four of us and one refuses to accept almost nothing from mom (she and husband are working, kids etc); one at home due to disability; one does mooch (not much and does know she is accountable for her debt it is recorded), last is who she willing answers to because of faith, respect mutual.
Nip it in the bud...Prayers
2006-12-04 10:22:51 · answer #4 · answered by Patches6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your name is on the account see how is she giving them money. I know this might be or sound cruel its not mean't to be give your mom an allowance and if she goes through it all that she has to wait. maybe then she won't hand out the money to the others. talk with your siblings and tell them that you don't like the way they treat your mother by bleeding her dry. I too have that problem. but what i did was made my mom spend all her money on herself so now she lives on mine. i wonder what they are going to do when you mom is gone.
2006-12-04 10:00:41 · answer #5 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i'm so sorry to hear about your father. Yeah i have an aunt who is just like that she is 50 years old and is sucking my grandparents dry. WE have tried everything to get her out of there house they just keep giving into her lies and scams. You can try moving the money to a different account with your name only on it and just give your mom the money when she needs it. YOu need to sit her down and talk to her about this. tell her that her kids are grown and this money is hers to live on. That its time to let them grow up and pay there own bills and fend for themselves. Tell her not to give them anymore money. Tell her to say the money is gone. I'm so sorry you guys are going through this i wish i could help more good luck
2006-12-04 10:00:39 · answer #6 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They won't learn to do anything on their own until they are cut off and forced to do things for themselves. Your mother needs to know that she can't support them forever and they will have to do things on their own soon anyway. Get your siblings into some sort of clinic/help programs to get them on their own feet.
2006-12-04 09:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by sim_maroon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to get rid of the 50 and the 54 year old. they need to have their own lives and you can't take care of them. you need to tell your mom" hey they gotta go and i'm not going to give them any more money" they need to get a joba and help you and your mom out in the house. not to be mean, but thats what i have done.
2006-12-04 10:01:52 · answer #8 · answered by Michell L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little tough love is in order. Talk to your mom and let her know how you feel and what the two of you can do about the situation..
2006-12-04 10:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by paravou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yo mama should do it
not you
2006-12-04 10:01:19 · answer #10 · answered by jaderdavila 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋