I have a lovely man in my life, he compliments me all the time, takes me out, treats me like a queen, isnt tooo bad in bed and even though we have only been together for 3 weeks now, neither of us can see it ending.
The problem is that he can be too nice if its possible, he lets me make all decisions (even what clothes he wears!!), refuses to answer back, in fact I would swear he was horizontal hes that laid back.
How can i get him to start thinking on his own? I dont want to lose him, he means so much to me. I just want him to make some decisions now and then...any ideas????
2006-12-04 01:41:57 · 24 answers · asked by Unhinged.... 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i feel where you're coming from. my boyfriend is just like that. when he asks you a question, tell him that you won't help him. he's a big boy, decide for himself. you gotta give him some backbone.
2006-12-04 01:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by loveable_cancer83 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you sound like a lucky lady so appreciate this very rare quality in your partner!
If you don't like him not answering back- then stop giving him reasons to answer back to! It's almost as if you're testing him. "You should wear this shirt!"... maybe he has no real opinions on the things you are forcing on him and doesn't care.
Find something he feels passionately about and talk to him about it and listen for authority in his voice. I'm sure he's passionate about something. Probably you by the sounds of it!
Maybe there's a part of you that desires to be controlled by a man (some women are like that). In the bedroom, you could start getting him to take control there. Maybe that would satiate you!
He's not fighting with you because a) he agrees with your decisions b) agrees with your decisions because he believes you are the better decision maker or c) loves you so much, everything you say is always right :-)
2006-12-04 01:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by midsojo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when he ask you to make a decision, tell him something in the way of him suggesting something aswell as you and that way you both can agree on something together without it being all up to you and tell him in the nicest way possible that although you like making all or at least a majority of the decisions, you'd like him to make a decision or two sometimes too and as for sex in your relationship after 3 weeks, personally, i'd slow that part down a bit just to make sure that, that's not all he's only with you for.
2006-12-04 02:08:17 · answer #3 · answered by tribalgirlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does sound a little drippy! It's a shame because he dotes on you, but there's nothing worse than a weak man. There needs to be some balance there. Chat to him. Maybe he'd like some help to combat this. You could get him to an assertiveness training class. These should be available in your local area. If you see a future with each other, this needs to be addressed because you will get fed up with it after a while. You must already be to be writing this!!
2006-12-04 01:46:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just been 3 weeks...give it time. He is trying to impress you. Once you two have been together awhile and he knows he's not going to lose you, he will start being more himself. Talk to him. Tell him you aren't going anywhere. Tell him you want him to make decisions sometimes and do what he wants sometimes. It's not all about you.
2006-12-04 01:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by Becky F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is way too early to be asking this question.
3 weeks? Maybe if your still together in three years & things haven't changed then ask the question!
You know he is probably just trying to please you too much. He just needs time to grow into the relationship, wants to see how the land lies, & doesn't want to stress you out in anyway.
Relax, it sounds like you've landed yourself a real gentleman who thinks the world of you. Enjoy.
2006-12-04 01:55:15 · answer #6 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man loves what you're doing. You love him and don't try to change him. Only TIME will tell the true color of a certain person. Don't worry too much. Enjoy the relationship. Relax and celebrate love. Good luck!
2006-12-04 01:47:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mai L. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear God... You qualify THIS as complicated? What the hell are you gonna do when life hands you a REAL problem? Tell the little Mama's boy to grow a pair before he bores you to tears and you start enjoying taking him for granted..
2006-12-04 01:47:21 · answer #8 · answered by ~LAX Mom~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just put him in situations hwere he HAS to make decisions - like text him and say - let me know where you want to eat tonight. and then if he gets all "no you decide" on you - just say (firmly) no, its IMPORTANT to me that you take inititative here. Cos I TOTALLY understand what you say - its no fun when the guy lets you walk all over him and make all the decisions, I like men to be MEN and take initiative! but obviously a balance is perfect (I guess I can understand why men say we are so complicated :)
2006-12-04 01:45:08 · answer #9 · answered by supagrrrl84 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants a mother, not a wife. Sleeping with him after knowing for 3 weeks? What ever happened to raising Ladies instead of Tramps?
2006-12-04 01:45:29 · answer #10 · answered by bubbles_grandpa 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
try talking to him perhaps he likes you that much he doesn't want to lose you by not agreeing with you, most women would kill for a nice bloke like that, just tell him if he doesn't agree with something then he must tell you and you wont be annoyed, try talking to him has he had a crappy relationship in the past and that's why he is....make him realise you want to be put in your place at times and like a guy who stands up for himself, but reassure him also ...
2006-12-04 02:12:18 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋