question for the mature people?

Question

this is a serious question that I need help with.
I am a 20 years old female and I have a hugh grush on this guy. Well that isnt the problem. See he is my younger brothers good friend and the problem is he is only 16. But I wouldnt of guessed he was so young by the way he acts and looks. See its fine if a male dates a much younger female But a older female dating a younger male, it seems like people think its wrong and I think its fine I just wanna know your a opinion on this matter. Thanks and please dont be rude this a serious thing that I am totally confused about.

Answer 1

Well, there may also be laws against that type of interaction (dating is fine, but sex is a problem). I don't think you're wrong for finding someone attractive that's only a few year younger. When you're 25, would you see any issues dating a 21 year old? Be friends with him, but be careful about your sexual interactions.

Answer 2

I think it's less of a problem when a female dates a younger male than the other way round. The main reason people turn their noses up at an age gap is when they believe the younger partner is being exploited, especially sexually (i.e a 19 year old guy dating a 15 year old girl) or financially.

I'm 5 years older than my partner (I'm female) and have never ever experienced any issues with people looking down on us. In fact, it's never occurred to me once!

If the only reason you're hesitant is because you're afraid of what other people will think, then forget it and go for it!

16 years old does seem young so make sure he is mature enough to handle a relationship. Make sure he's not the type to kiss and tell (could be embarrassing since you're linked through your brother) and avoid anything physical for a LONG time. As a young guy dating an older female, he'll probably feel pressured to be intimate (even if he doesn't feel ready) and may try it on early in the relationship. Take it easy and enjoy the dating process! :)

Answer 3

Honestly, I would say stay your distance. We as a society frown on men that would do what you are thinking and so the same applies if it were reversed. I think you may have it backwards. Today's climate is such that it is looked at as being wrong either way...for both male and females. The difference is that of course a young boy (15 - 17) would love to have an older woman but that doesn't make it right. In your case I am opposed to it even more so because this is a friend of your brother. I assume you guys have your problems. Just think how awkward it would be for him with you dating one of his friends. Of course you would get some looks but I can assure you that it would be much worse for him. School is hard enough without having something odd about you that people can pick on you about. You should focus on your family and fore go your feelings on this one. It maybe hard but in the long run this sacrifice will shape you and your character into one worthy of respect.

Answer 4

The issue is not the age gap, the issue is how old he actually is.

Here in America you can hardly do anything until you are 21, even though you are technically an adult at 18.

So you have to consider that a sexual relationship with him could be considered illegal in many states. You also should consider that it will be five years before he can even go to a bar, casino, or nightclub.

Over the next five years he will change completely from who he is now into an adult.

There is really no problem with you dating a younger guy, but you need to be older first. This relationship won't work and is probably a bad idea. Sorry.

Answer 5

First you need to find out what the laws are concerning 16 yr olds where you live and whether or not you actually end up having sexual contact with him...the age of consent ranges anywhere from 14 to 18 depending on which state you live in..if 16 is legal...go for it... although, there are no laws saying 16 and 20 yr olds cant hang out and date..love has no age, color or gender boundaries...dont worry about what your friends will say..a true friend will get to know the guy before passing any judgement on the age difference..

Answer 6

Ok he's 16!! that's not the bad. What do you think a 16 y.o. would do if you two go out. Do you want him tilling everyone including your brother what you do? Give it time and if you still have feeling when he's 18 go for it. Just remember his is not as mature as you think. And the other girl that responded is right. " age is only a number " but if it's the right number you could go to jail.. Your over 18.

Answer 7

first off kudos to you for having the courage to speak up and tell the world about your feelings. more over, speaking about your feelings for someone who you think is quite younger than you and your brother's good friend as well. it is your right to pursue any relationship,as long as you know that you will be happy and you are not stepping on anyone's toes! but i would like to tell you as well that since your crush is quite young, don't expect a long term and serious relationship as well, unless you are aware that that is what he is looking for in the first place. this may sound as too mushy or a cliche', but under the circumstances this will fit your situation, just follow your heart and nothing will go wrong! take care and goodluck! ;-)

Answer 8

No it isn't fine if a male dates a much younger female. Not when they are still jail bait.

Look, obviously you have feelings for the guy. Statutory rape laws apply to women too.

You don't have to act on every impulse you have. Obviously, you are a thoughtful person and you don't want to make a mistake. It would be a big mistake. The fact that you are asking this question means that your instincts are telling you something is wrong. Trust them.

Answer 9

You could go to jail. That is just the facts. I would stay away from this kid. Don't act on these feelings. You are in control here and you need to exercise your maturity and run don't walk away from this situation.

Good Luck

You should not even have a friend relationship with him. You are heading down a road of grief. I agree with the previous post...you are wondering or else you would have not ask the question. Take the advice given here...stay away.

Answer 10

you need to get over this guy. First of all he is your brother's friend. secondly he is only 16. This is only an immaure attraction that you have towarsd this boy. Do not worrry about it too much. Just move on with your life and find someone your aGE. There is plenty of FISHES out there.