At the minute I'm undergoing treatment for cancer. I am usually upbeat about it and get on with things but lately I've been a bit down as it's starting to hit me. I've found that when my friends ask how I'm doing I want to have a good moan at them about it but I keep stopping myself as I don't want to make them think i'm miserable and all i do is complain. I also don't want to worry them. It's a hard one because I want to have a good old moan about it but I don't want them to think of me as miserable :S
2006-12-03 23:22:40 · 16 answers · asked by Christian S 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
I should think if these are good friends, they would be more than understanding if you told them you wanted and needed to have a good moan to blow off steam, and should be more than willing to be on the listening end. I think it's only natural you should feel the need to let down the guard now and again, and if you were my friend I think I'd be more concerned by having you always answer me like Mary Sunshine. You will probably find your true friends more than willing to be supportive of whatever mood you find yourself in, and glad to be of practical help to you. The hardest thing in life sometimes is to be the one needing support, rather than the one giving it. We are always willing to be the one taking care of and it's hard to be the one being taken care of- a humbling experience for most of us anyway. But rather than look at it as being a potential burden for your friends, consider that in order for us to be blessed by being the giver, somebody has to be willing to be the reciever. Give your friends the opportunity to help you. Invite a good pal over for a real sob session, moan and get it out of your system. You will both benefit. If you really feel you can't let it out with a friend, then get in contact with a cancer support group. At least there you will find others who will understand your need, and be willing to lend an ear to you. But do find someway to get your moans out and then you can get back to your usual self. Have your good days and bad days, it's okay. You are entitled, same as everyone else, and maybe just a little bit more.
2006-12-03 23:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by The mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie, go on and have your moan!! No one is going to think you're whiney.. you really are ill, not a hypochrondriac (can't spell but you should understand lol). Chemo is rough and when you have the radiation mixed in with it, well... it's not fun.
People (your friends and family who love you) want to know what you're going through. They're scared and don't know how to act around you right now. They don't know if they should be positive, sympathetic or have a good old fashion pity party with you. They won't know until you tell them.
Go ahead and give everyone an earful. You have that right. They already know you're miserable hun, you have cancer. It's not like a day at the beach, everyone already understands that. Just make sure you have a good laugh with them after you do your moaning and groaning.
Best of luck to you.
2006-12-04 07:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by sassydontpm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are very brave and I wish you well with the treatment. I have known a number of people in your situation and when visiting them I am pleased to hear their moans and worries. Talking them through helps to take the stress away. By all means have a bit of a moan but then change the subject and talk about the other things in life. I always visited armed with a bottle of wine, even to the hospitals, and this loosened things up quite nicely. When someone suggests visiting you ask them to bring a bottle. It will set the tone nicely.
Hope all goes well and have a really happy Christmas.
2006-12-04 07:29:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd probably feel the same, but ur attitide of being upbeat & positive is very good in my opinion. Maybe u need just a bit of support from them or encouragement. Do they ever ask u how u r feeling? I admire ur attitude of not wanting to be seen misreable or to worry them. if they ask how u r tell them how u feel without feeling u r being negative or be seen as u feel sorry 4 urself( not that u r!).
Also I just wanted 2 let u know of this herbal rmedy 4 cancer that's supposed 2 be very effecive:
Essiac (herbal tea) Jenny Boys tel: 01483 301144
Or u can find alternative suppliers on the net.
For support, I know this organisation is wondereful:
New Approcahes to Cancer2662
www.anac.org.uk
or The Marie Curie Cancer Care
tel:0207599 7777
http://www.mariecurie.org.uk/
0800 389
2006-12-04 11:37:14 · answer #4 · answered by glgl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bless you.
You should set aside one main close friend and let him/her know how much this is all affecting you. They might be able to get you professional help, someone to talk to who will help you emotionally with what you are going through. ITs ok to be upset and miserable, if anyone is entitled to be, its you. Your REAL friends will understand, and because they are REAL, they wont mind being there for you when you need a good old moan. You are experiencing one change and a half man, i wish you all the best and may god give you the courage to accept the things you cannot change.
Takecare and Godbless xx
2006-12-04 07:29:49 · answer #5 · answered by london lady 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey, everyone has good days and bad days and are entitled to them, if you wanna moan, then moan til the cows come home!
If your friends really are true friends they will listen to you, b*tch with you about whatever you need to b*tch about, laugh with you about hilarious and silly things and cry with you and comfort you over sad things. Friends are there to help you in times of need, however big that need that is.
I am sure if any of your friends read this and knew this is how you felt, they would come straight over to confront you about why you don't want to show them you are down. I am sure you have been there for them when they have been feeling miserable too!
2006-12-04 07:24:53 · answer #6 · answered by Liggy Lee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey you are entitled to moan all you like, everyone has off days, and that is what your friends are for, they probably saying to each other how they think you are putting a bit of a "happy" front on, with what you going through, truw friends, which im sure they are to you, wil listen whenever you want a good old moan :), good luck with everything , i wish you well
2006-12-04 07:33:35 · answer #7 · answered by button moon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If U need a good moan... moan.... some times when U talk it out it helps U... find a support group... don't hold it in.... let out Ur feelings... I am sure that Ur friends will understand... I will put U in my prayers...
2006-12-04 07:45:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christian,I'll bet that your friends are worried about the fact that you're not opening up to them and bottling up your feelings. By bottling up your feelings,you're hindering your recovery. Don't be afraid to say how you're feeling-angry,depressed,scared. You are human after all. Nobody will think of you as being miserable-they will understand you're going through alot,and you need to vent.
2006-12-04 07:40:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are your friends, and they wouldnt ask if they didnt care, talk to them hun, im sure they,ll be glad to lend an ear for their old mate, if they did complain about you moaning then they are not true friends anyway.
good luck with the future hun. xxx
2006-12-04 07:34:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋