Single Parents?

Question

Being a single Parent must be difficult? What do you do for work and money once you have a child to look after? Because you cant go out to work as you have to look after the baby.

It's not for me, just for someone else who I know who is pregnant....

Answer 1

This may offend some people but life as a single parent for me was a doddle. for the 1st 6 months i didn't work and i had my rent and council tax etc paid for me i was given more than enough money by the state to keep myself and at the time 2 kids in the style we were accustomed too and i always had money left over to go out on the lash at the weekends. But i went out to work because i was bored at home. Now i am with new partner and married
we have our own successful business and i also work part time and to be honest when i look at my days as a single parent it wasn't hard maybe a little lonely on the odd occasion. But i look at my kids now and see that they are fantastic human beings and that is down to me!!! I worked for 6 and half years as single parent and with a bit of proper organisation and good support group i gave my kids a great life.
Maybe your friend should get in touch with gingerbread (an organisation for single parents) if she has no support group of her own.

Answer 2

I raised a child by myself in the US (he's 16 now). I didn't sponge, we lived very frugally on student loans and scholarships while I finished both my BA and Master's degree. He was 6 when I finished school and I started doing freelance work (design, computer and marketing) from home. When he turned 10, I went to work full time.

Throughout his life, I've felt that raising him is the most important job I've ever had. We're very close and though we've never had enough money, we've never felt poor. It can be done, and in many ways it was less difficult than with a partner because I never had anyone to contradict or question my authority. I'm so thankful that my husband left us when he did and if I had the chance, I'd do the whole thing over again exactly the same.

Answer 3

Being a parent is not easy let alone a single parent. I am fortunate that I have a great family to support me and provide me with a back up... My son is 3 and was born at 25 weeks and when he finally came home from the hospital I had a family member that watched him as he was too little to go to daycare. You simply Have to work . I took advantage of the public assistance programs that the government had to offer when he was in the hospital. I was not proud of it, but you do what you have to do to make it.

Answer 4

It's hard, but needs must!
My daughter is 4 and a half now, when she was a baby, i used to work in a pub at night, aet home by 12.30 wake up bleary eyed at 6. It all got too much and i was exhausted, I was lucky enough to fall on my feet, and got offered a job with two families as a child minder. That was great, because it was mostly in the day and it meant i had quality time with my daughter too.
Now she is at school every day between 9 and half 3, I still childmind and juggle that with doing day shifts in the kitchen at the pub. pick her up from school feed her put her to bed, and then go back to the pub to work behind the bar three nights a week.
Every other weekend she goes to her Dad's leaving me with more hoyrs to work!!
Yes, it's exhausting, but I want to give her the best I can- So it's worth it!!

Answer 5

I have two kids one goes to school the other to nursery. I work for the NHS so luckily the nursery has subsidised funding but still costs me over three quarters of my wages each month. I work 16 hours a week and my parents are not local. Its is very difficult, I do get help with tax credits but the big problem is the school holidays

Answer 6

Well now! Life as a single mom from my perspective:

1. Never enough money!
2. dealing with dead beat dad who doesnt want to pay child support
3. having a sick child and no one to cover for you while you go to the doctor's
4. getting sick and not being able to take care of yourself
5. moving from one family members house to another trying to find a stable job and rent you can afford
6. dealing with visitation and crying each weekend as your baby is taken by the father who walked out on her at age 1
7. Dating and watching the guys run away when they meet your child
8. Dating and realizing your child isn't safe around that person.
9. the constant judging by other people, but no one willing to offer sound advice
10. waking at 4:30 am so you can take the bus to the babysitter and get to work by 6.
11. calls from the babysitter that your child is sick and you having to go get them and your boss mad that you have to leave
12. being in love and engaged to have that guy walk out and then everyone saying your a sponge to the system because you want to raise your child properly and make sure they have health insurance.
13. shopping at thrift stores for clothes because you can't afford the department store
14. bad neighbors because you cant afford a good neighborhood.
15. pitiful christmas presents under the tree
16. having to put off college because you have to work.
17. grandmothers waiting for you to mess up so they can try to take custody of your child.
18. Many sleepless nights.
19. many exhausting days.
20. Sore feet.
21. having to smile for your baby no matter what and trying to keep all 20 of the above mentioned from affecting her in any way.

It's tough being a single mom. I'm married now, and that brings up the whole topic of step parenting.. I won't even touch on that right now.

Answer 7

As a mother myself i say you can work and bring up kids. I work full time as a manager of a pub and have a 5 year son. If you have the support of family and friends you can do it,its tough but worth while. Not all of us are spongers and i hate being put in that group just because I'm on my own with kid. Tell your friend it is down to personal choice if you work or not. As for money there are benefits you can get whether you work or stay at home,once you have children the government encourage you to work and claim working families tax credit, or there is income support.

Answer 8

I really suppose unless you have a good relative willing to help you look after the child you have to depend on benefits. But a lot of people contary to belief dont want to do that. I would think you have to ask family to help so you can do at least a little part time work to keep your spirits up.

Answer 9

Being a single parent is hard. To everyone out there who calls us spongers..get a life. I am 30 and have worked since I was 14 before and after school and have always paid NI and tax. Why shouldn't we get something back from our own country. Maybe you would just prefer to pay for immigrants and foreigners to move to this country and give them mobile phones, cars and houses why your own nationality suffer. Single parents aren't normally in there position because of choice. We struggle and scrimp and save to try and make things work. Eventually you do have to go back to work, everything is hard.

Answer 10

for one thing she needs to get the father to pay child support and let him be involved in the child's life if she is still in school she needs to try to finish so that she can get a better paying job the child deserves to know both parents as long as there is no abuse i am a single mom of two boys 13 and 9 my 9 year old was a baby when my ex left me he gets visitation with the boys and is invited to all their activities but i am the one who is there for it all school plays, band competitions ,honor award ceremonies, beta club ceremonies and when they are sick and up all night with a stomach ache or a earache asthma attacks cleaning the house paying the bills and making sure their is enough food to eat its not easy but it is worth any sacrifices I've had to make and your friend will have to make sacrifices but it doesn't mean that her life is over be a good friend and offer to babysit sometimes so she can have a breather and be there for her to talk to