1. Vegetarians coming to dinner ? - simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, quorn, meat substitute etc. 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference.
2. Invited by vegetarians to dinner ? Point out that since you'd no doubt be aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours and ask for a nice steak.
3. Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up, at the end of a few years you'll have enough to insulate your loft.
4. Nissan Micra drivers. Before starting a long journey attach a lighted sparkler to the top of your roof. You drive the things like dodgem cars anyway, so it may as well look like one
5. A mouse trap placed on the top of your alarm clock will prevent you from turning over and going back to sleep.
6. AVOID parking tickets by turning your windscreen wipers to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegall
2006-12-03 22:34:18 · 15 answers · asked by JillPinky 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ding dong, thats put a smile on my face for the start of a shitty day thanks
No4&5 excellent
2006-12-03 22:37:42 · answer #1 · answered by EWE ANCHOR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant! Also, if an ice cube gets stuck in your throat, simply drink some boiling hot water.....it will melt the ice cube almost instantly!
And by the way, if you have toothache, hit your thumb very hard with a hammer. It will be so painful, you'll forget all about your toothache!
2006-12-07 08:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by Andrew C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely for number 6 you'd have to leave the keys in the ignition making it easier for some traffic warden to move it from where you parked your car illegally!
2006-12-10 04:56:27 · answer #3 · answered by Sea Fever 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its nice and funny (espicially numbers 5 and 6)
2006-12-05 07:34:51 · answer #4 · answered by ArcyQwerty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like n0`4. i`ve been wantin to hear a new car joke 4 ages!
2006-12-06 20:27:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quality. gonna use the veggie ones and the parkin ticket
2006-12-06 07:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by Manc lad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent tips.
2006-12-03 22:38:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number 6 is good, will try that.
2006-12-03 22:36:37 · answer #8 · answered by lt_fritz_deelman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice
2006-12-03 22:52:47 · answer #9 · answered by mr. x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These r good ones too! LOL! =D
2006-12-03 23:37:05 · answer #10 · answered by lilypond868 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋