my girlfriend was raped?

Question

well heres the thing before i posted a question asking why my girlfriend woudnt kiss me well her best friend told me the reason she wont get close to me is because she got raped.her best friend is the only one that knows my girl got raped like about a month ago and no one knows only me and her best friend.when i asked her if this was true she started crying so much! i love her so much! im going to tell her parents but she says she dosent want me to.shes 14 and her 15 year old boy cousin raped her at her OWN house! what should i do?

she was a virgin and i dont think its late to get tested and her parents WILL believe her they are nice people she dosent want me to tell or she says she'll HATE ME!

Answer 1

Even though u love her and u know she doesn't want u to tell her parents, it has to be done. If speaking of what happened made her burst out into tears like that, then she definitely has some very bad feelings she is holding inside. She might say she doesn't want help, but if she holds these feelings inside a lot of bad things can occur. This same thing happened to my best friend and i chose not to tell because she begged me too. Now that I am older i know what i would've done, because u cant imagine what she goes through on a daily basis. If nothing is done to the cousin that raped her, he could go on to rape nieces and nephews that are just kids or who knows. You should definitely speak up. There are so many places and people that can help more then you could imagine. If not she will carry the guilt,shame, and burden of her innocence lost for the rest of her life. That will eventually ruin her life and could possibly turn her to drinking, and etc...

Answer 2

Personally, I think that (even though your intentions are good) you telling her parents would push her further away from you. You don't know what that could lead to. What if they thought she was lying? It would just make her feel worse. Just hold her, comfort her, let her know that you are there if and when she needs you. Don't try to force her to talk to someone (I'm quite sure her bf has been doing that). Everyone is different and need different things in traumatic situations. Give her what she needs. Whether its a shoulder to cry on or her needing you to simply keep your mouth closed...when she does recover she will appreciate you for it.

Answer 3

This really really sux what happend to her. I have so much empathy...I say try to convince her again that she should tell her parents and authorities. But, do it tactfully...show her how much you care for her and reason with her why this is right to do and how much it will help her to recover. If she isn't willing, tell the parents (one to one...you and the parents) and tell them the whole situation and also the fact that she doesn't want to tell her parents. That way they will be more sensitive towards her. I'm sure she doesn't want to tell her parents because she feels ashamed and guilty which is a common feeling for those who are sexually abused. But the thing is, it's not. I hope things go well. Good luck with this...

Answer 4

First, make sure she knows this wasn't her fault. Victims often feel that.

Second, make sure she knows you're there for her, but be prepared for her to be holding things in for a while. Just knowing you're there to support her will help a lot.

Third, help her go forward to her family and the police. The vast majority of rapes go unreported, but by reporting it, you take one predator off the streets. He may even be tried as an adult for this.

Good luck man. I've been through the same thing before, and it's incredibly difficult! I wish you the best!

Answer 5

I was raped this past summer, myself. I can sympathize with what your girlfriend is having to go through. ...

It is a very hard thing to talk about. Ask her if she wants to report it, but don't press the issue. She does need to talk to someone.
Is she safe, or does the guy still have access to her. The best thing that you can do is to try to get her to tell someone that she trust, so that she can make sure she is safe.

Just make sure you stand by her and are there for her, no matter what she decides to do.

Answer 6

Can u talk to someone older that u can trust like ur church's pastor/elder, school counsellor, ur parents or anyone who is wise and can help u? This is a serious and sensitive issue and be careful to whom u tell to. Your girl friend needs help. She needs to talk to a counsellor to help her cope with the emotional trauma. Don't rush into telling her parents. Her parents for sure find it hard to take. Jus calm down for now. Any decision u wanna make, discuss with ur girlfriend before u do it. Assure her that she has to talk to someone older who's wise enuf to give her guidance to go through this pain. Tell her she can overcome it if only she tries again and again though it's going to be extremely difficult. Tell her to be strong. Things dat happened cannot be changed but she can change her future by choosing her own actions...May God help u..

Answer 7

aww thats hard man! I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but good job on asking! You should def. go to the cops on this one, because most likely if this is happening its not going to stop. She really needs you right now, and you are a REALLY sweet boyfriend for asking about this. She is too hurt right now and probably doesn't want to talk about it, she just wants it to go away, but it won't, unless someone that can do something about it knows, and that is the cops. if you dont' feel comfortable doing that, then talk to your school's counciler or principal even, this is a SERIOUS matter. Good luck, we need more men like you. I'm a rape victum myself, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping your girlfriend. =)

Answer 8

Tell her parents...it may be 2 late 2 prove cuz its her word against the cousins since she didnt go 2 the hospital. She needs 2 get some help cuz she's going 2 be 4ever scared if she doesnt. Then u need 2 go beat his ***! Good luck...do the right thing!

Answer 9

talk to her more, and yes tell her parents or at least a school counselor. i would say if shes closer to her mom or dad just talk to that parent and make sure shes there so she doesnt feel its behind her back. Most large towns/cities also have rape group therapy which can be VERY helpful.

As for YOU, you need to be very understanding that she is going to be offstandish and this will be a long and hard process.
feel free to IM me, or have her IM me on yahoo

Answer 10

hey if u r true 2 tell this u must first of all help her 2 get out of this stigma and then win her confidence that the person who raped her must b punished cause he can again do this with other girl and by telling tje truth u may help other girls. and then u shud tak 2 her parents taking her in confidence.and only if u succeed in punishing that guy ur gf will b satisfied and will b out of the guilt or stigma of that incident. and i think u shud help her out in the matter cause that will b the best charity done by u .BEST OF LUCK AND MAY GOD HELP U.