My mother hates me, what do I do!? Why does she hate me so much!!?? WHAT DID I DO!?

Question

My brother starts arguements and my mother fights for him and never lets me speak. She constantly tells him she loves him and she calls me a *****. She calls me selfish and spoiled. I never ask her for anything. I buy her expensive gifts and she never says thank you, or if she likes it. She hasn't hugged me or told me she loved me in so long I can't remember when the last time was. The only time she ever talks to me is to tell me to do something or to yell at me. I'm the only one out of her two children, and I try so hard to make her love me, but she still doesn't even respect me. She constantly accsues me of lying and doesn't believe a single thing I say. She even favors the cats over me. I'm sure most of you will think that I am exaggerating, but I can assure you that I'm not. I'm so afriad of talking to her, I don't want another fight, I don't want to hear her say those things. No one else in the house defends me either. All I ever hear her say is that I'm a total mistake,

And that she wishes that I never was born, why does she hate me so much!? and what can I do for her to love me!?

What do you think I've said?? My mother listens to what I say!? NO!!! I've tried talking to her!!

Well, my dad isn't even alive, so I can't talk to him!! But that also means that I can't just ignore my mother!!

Answer 1

Wow, I'm sorry sweetie but I don't know if there is, honestly, anything you can do to make someone love you. Its very unfortunate that you have to live in a situation like that. Don't you have any other family (or even close friends) that maybe would allow you to stay with them? And if you did do you think that your mother would allow it? Maybe you can talk to someone at your school (like a counselor) and let them know what is going on because you are being abused. They can remove you from that lifestyle. I know that doesn't sound comforting but it is very unhealthy and you don't want to grow up feeling worthless, unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated. You might not see it now but it will affect how you cope in life when you are an adult. Please, talk to someone. Good Luck.

Answer 2

I know how this feels. My mother was like this my entire childhood. It blows. She called me names. Favored my younger brother, told me she wished i was the girls living down the street. I reminded her to much of my father, and was 'competion' for attention. It really sucks and there is nothing you can ever do about it and it will eat you up inside if you let it. If you get though this you'll be better to your won children and thats all you can really do. Try not to do anything stupid in the mean time. Be who you want to be. Do good in your life. Find friends who suport you in a positive way and find new mother figures (maybe a grandmother, an aunt or a teacher) no ones ever going to fill that gap, but if your lucky you'll heal the wound it leaves behind. Also seeing a councelor helps sometimes. :)

Answer 3

Try this tatic. It will show your mother she loves you, but she does not realize it. I have a feeling this may be the case. Anyway, here is what you should try. Take a trip, and go somewhere FAR AWAY. Seperate yourself from your mother for awhile. Give her the means to contact you, but DO NOT contact her. Let her contact you. When she contacts you, you will see a difference in her attitude, because she will LOVE and miss you. Oh, and I totally understand about the cat ordeal. My husband's mother seems to care more for her cats then ANYTHING or ANYONE, even my husband. It makes me sick. Cats are lovely, but not to the extent where they are more valuable then your own children. Best wishes to you. One more point of advice, if your mother does not return the love, do not waste your time and life trying to please and serve her 100% of the time. You have needs that will need to be met and there are times you will be needing to please and service yourself. I hope your mother will soon realize whatan amazing daughter she has and how much she really does love you:)

Answer 4

I am sorry to hear that your mother acts this way towards you. It is not going to help you at all in life and is not healthy for you. Have you told her how you feel and that you love her and only want a good relationship with her? If you have then you have done your part. You are not living for your mom so you need to move forward with life. You can meet someone one day and they will provide you with the love you need and you can give it back. It is sad how some parents are just so uneducated about their relationships with their children. It is not your fault.

Answer 5

I would consider this emotional/verbal abuse. I don't know how old you are but you should consider moving out and going to stay with other family or friends. Maybe that will give her some time to realize that she could lose you if she doesn't start to appreciate you.
Don't ever let her make you feel worthless, hopefully you will rise above all of this in a positive way

Answer 6

I feel so sorry for you hun. I believe that its not your fault that she's mad or angry at you. There are some other side of the story. Do you have a dad? Do you think you are adopted? Do you think someone broke up with her because of you? There is an ABsolute reason for this. I'm sorry but it is up to you to find out. But for now, I suggest you to stop trying for her to love you will just be disappointed. Try joining community help groups in your area where you can find support moral guidance. Find time to spend with your friends and with yourself and make yourself happy and make the best out of your life.

Answer 7

I can sympathize with you 100%.I am 36yrs young(LOL) and my mother has not really got on with me since I was around 13 /14yrs. She falls out with me for no apparant reason...and mite not speak for years...the longest being 4yrs! I love her so much n often will make the first move to become friends again.But within months we are back to not talkin...I dont do n e fin wrong, and am sure you dont either! I dont know why my mother is like this I av just become to accept this crazy behaviour! Maybe it boils down to jealousy..I dont no! My mother went to get me aborted..n my grandad saved me! I was a mistake too!Just get on with your life as I have...Its hard but it will ruin your life further to think she will ever change! I av a daughter n I'd hate to think I'd turn out like my mother! I wish you luck x

Answer 8

You can't really make her love you. But there has to be something else to the story. This sounds awful but, mothers who were raped and kept the children have animosity towards the child because every time they see the child it brings back awful memories. I'm not saying that's what happened to your mom but maybe something happened that involved you when you were so young you couldn't even remember and now your mom resents it. I dunno, but it definitely isn't something that is just on the surface, it's deeper than that. Try talking to her to find out what it is. Good luck, God bless.

Answer 9

Don't worry girl she might be having a hard time getting over her crack addiction. Here is something that should make you feel better, Take a dump in her coffee cup then just rinse it out do not use any soap then put it back where it belongs. This way when she drinks out of the cop you have the satisfaction of knowing she is drinking your crap. in a way you are giving her crap back.

Answer 10

she does. and love in unconditional your brother must not be trying to hard to get love.Shes loves i know it and you should to. Why do you think she had you in the first place. Ask her for a video of you being born and if u get it look at her expression on her face when she got to see your shining face for the first time.And if she doesnt have any videos the only thing I can think of is that your maybe adopted. Look into that...

Hope that helps :)