I've been friends with this guy for 7 years. I was 18, and he was 24. I've been in love wth him ever since. From the beginning, I realized he was my soulmate, and I made it clear I wanted to pursue a relationship, but he thought I was too young. I got into a relationship with someone else for 5 years, and had a child. He got into a relationship with a woman who he's now been with for 5 years. I'm now single.
Recently, for the first time, he kissed me, and told me he wanted me...sexually. I've never been with someone who is already with someone. I've waited 7 years to hear those words...7 years to touch him. He doesn't know it, but I've always loved him. I'm torn because I know it's wrong, but I try to justify it by thinking he was mine first. Any guidance on this issue would be greatly appreciated...
2006-12-03 17:44:20 · 16 answers · asked by Cynthia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I actually told him no when he brought it up...
2006-12-03 17:52:11 · update #1
I don't see it as a matter of right or wrong, but rather, without judgement, what will be the result? I agree, if he feels as you do, then let nature take its course...however, while it sounds as if your planets are aligned now...almost. If he wants you, then doesn't it make sense that he parts ways with his current partner? You've loved this guy for all this time. By falling into an affair, you'll set yourself up of some serious heart ache. I don't sense that you're going to be happy sharing him, being the other woman. So, what seems like a temptation, may be a depressing mistake for you. I'd explain to him that you feel the same way he does, but unless he is free to explore with you, then it just doesn't work. Think about it. However it works out, it will be for the best, but if it goes your way, then you can let those panties fly with pure, uninhibited, erotic passion and feel good about it. Good luck!
2006-12-03 17:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can wait for 7 years, you can wait a bit more for this. It would be better to wait and let him end the relationship with his current gf first. I don't think you really want to waste your time and hurt again in the relationship that doesn't work. You are worth more than that because I could feel that you are moral. You would feel bad later on if you did that. Please love and respect yourself. Don't destoy your sweet first-love. Leave it there until you think that it's really right time. You've grown up.
Good Luck
2006-12-04 02:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by Sunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T DO IT! right now your heart's all a-flutter because the guy you've wanted for 7 years finally expressed interest in you. but for one thing, it sounds like he's already with someone else. if he REALLY wanted to be with you, he'd have broken it off with her and pursued you. the way things stand now, it sounds like he's just unhappy in his current relationship and lo and behold! he's got this woman hanging on his arm, a woman who once expressed a desire to be in a relationship with him, sitting there with no strings attached. i hate to say it but it sounds like he's using you to escape from whatever in his life is going wrong. do not, i repeat, DO NOT, sleep with him because what for you seems like your dreams come true will ultimately show itself to be just a fling for him. you'll end up hurt and he'll go back to his current girlfriend or whoever else he winds up with in the future.
if he tries kissing you again, use every molecule of willpower in your body to resist the temptation to do anything beyond that. firmly tell him that until he agrees to break it off with his woman and enter into an adult, full-time relationship with you, that you will have no part of this. i know it's harder said than done, but if you really don't want to get hurt you have to resist his advances. also keep in mind that you said from the beginning that you made it clear you wanted a relationship...you might THINK he doesn't know how you feel about him, but he remembers the beginning and i am sure he is just trying to use it to his advantage.
in order to avoid getting hurt, i'd suggest either dealing with your feelings for him in a way that doesn't involve going to bed with him, or else finding another best friend who won't treat you like a prostitute.
2006-12-04 01:51:46 · answer #3 · answered by shrimpylicious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These kinds of people only come around once in a lifetime. You cannot pass it up now. He needs to know your love and your devotion to him...and especially how long you have waited to hear him tell you what he did.
The complications that exist are nothing compared to the heartache of letting him go.
2006-12-04 01:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your asking should you help him cheat?
Ask yourself this, if you were the lady that he has been with for 5 years would you like it if some chick was asking this on YA about him?
Is it worth turning him into guy trash? Do you have a daughter, how would you like some chick asking this about her guy one day?
hmmmmm, tell him if he wants you he would have to leave her, then you will know where his heart really is, and not just his peniz.
2006-12-04 01:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by elisioloyd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NOOOOOOOOO! DONT DO IT!!! I know you really really love him, but he is with someone who probably loves him just as much as you do. How would you feel if he was your man and he cheated on you with someone else? You can't do that to the other girl. Tell him, if he wants you, he is going to have to leave his girlfriend. And if he does, then go for it, but not until you know for sure that they are over. I hope I helped you!
2006-12-04 01:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by lotmsrox123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally wat u feel is wrong.That man is already commited with a woman and your trying to get yourself invovled with a man who is already commited as of now ur desire might override your decision to keep yourself away frm ur freind ( whom u say is ur soulmate ) but in ur future if anything bad like the man breaks up with his wife and etc might happen becos of ur sexual affair thn u will feel guilty forever try thinkin abt the future happenings
2006-12-04 01:49:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a relationship with him and really do love him.. wait for him to finish up his relationship with the other girl.
If you just want to sleep with him and be intimate and not a serious relationship then do what makes you happy.
You dont want to start sleeping with him and wanting him more than just a friend if he wants to stay with the other girl... and even if he does eventually leave her you wouldnt want a guy that would sleep with another girl when he was with you. If he does it to her.. he may do it to you.
What goes around comes around.
2006-12-04 01:48:49 · answer #8 · answered by Barbara Faye 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont go with him ... trust me. He is lookin for some booty call. He just once to take advantage because he knows you will say yes .Have pride girl.Stick wit urself . You dun need a guy to be happy wit.Id rather be gay man!! Hahahaha...just joking !! Say NO !! you will shock him
2006-12-04 01:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by carameilla 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's really meant to be, it will be, but don't make a mistake that you will regret late on. Respect yourself and wait for the right time. You'll be happy you did.
2006-12-04 01:51:49 · answer #10 · answered by SimplyYoung 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋