I always try to help out my family. I am always giving them money, presents everything and I am the first person to be there. But when I need help (which is rarely) they never want to help me! I dont ask but still, it is not offered. Also whenever I talk to them I am VERY nice on the phone keep the conversatino upbeat and lively yet they always "have to go". It seems the nicer I am the more they just think of me as a doormat who willl always be there. What am I doing wrong? Is it not good to be nice and helpful? I mean well. I dont know. I feel rejected. Like I am invisible.
2006-12-03 17:20:00 · 7 answers · asked by someoneyoudontknow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't think your doing anything wrong. Sadly, it seems like your family is taking you for granted. Don't make yourself even think that your a bad or not-giving person because you're not. Your family just doesn't realize how lucky they are to have you.
2006-12-03 17:23:24 · answer #1 · answered by JenGen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The gravy train should end here. In other words giving money is not a wise decision. It is ok to help out from time to time if in crisis but constantly doing things makes them take advantage. Don't bother calling so much and don't think too much about them. Live your own life. It sounds like you are too focused on doing things for them and not enough on enjoying your life.
2006-12-04 01:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are they actually not there for you or are you perceiving the situation differently due to feelings that you are not loved?? If they really aren't there for you, then why are you there for them? You are trying to act how you would like them to act, in a reverse emulation sort of behavior. They probably won't change unless you talk to them and tell them how they act and how it makes you feel. If they don't change, you don't have to stop loving them, but don't keep doing things that are inconvenient for you. It is good to help your loved ones, but it isn't good to give and give and give and to never receive anything. Is it possible they are giving you back what they can (love/hugs)? Ask someone who sees both sides but who isn't involved what they think.
2006-12-04 01:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by Heather-Nicolle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be nice but not all the time. Let them know u have a life not just helpin them! Talk to them about it too. Let them know how u feel. If u don't have time dont help them, let them do things on thier own unless its emergency help kinda thing. Do more things for urself, like going places u enjoy. Good luck!
2006-12-04 01:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by Cr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how this goes. It's the same story. People take others for granted. stop being nice. show them that they'll have to work for your kindness or they will not get it...
For Xmas- buy them one of those posters that say "treat others as you would like to be treated". Maybe they'll then get the hint...
2006-12-04 01:53:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being nice and make them realise that your respect is something they must win. Don't act like the "doormat"- you must be firm!
2006-12-04 01:30:10 · answer #6 · answered by jemm4president 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your too nice to them. Say no every once in awhile. Maybe they won't take you for granted. Don't let them make you bitter- just be strong.
2006-12-04 01:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by meaty_okra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋