i met this guy who was a total sweetie, but once i really hung out with him for the first time, he was really pushy. like he kept doing things after i told him not to. things i just wasnt into. and he was all tryin to be all over me the first time we hung out. which is ok, to like hand hold and thinsg like that. but he was literally ALL OVER me and i was tryin to tell him to stop. this happened last night and today he has been ringin the phone off the hook and tellin me that he was thinkin about me and that im HIS angel. its kind of scarey how attatched me he already is and we havent even kissed. he makes me uncofortable. what do i do? stay away from him and avoid him, or just tell him i dont want to talk to him. i mean he asked me out last night and i was like no, this is only the first time we have hung out. but i think he thought i was joking cuz he changed his myspace to in a relationship. im like whoa, ur really scarey. what do i do, he is really nice and i dont want to hurt him?
2006-12-03 16:54:39 · 16 answers · asked by linderlou2006 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Uhh... whoa, whoa. This guy is not a total sweetie anymore, is he? In fact, judging from his behavior, he seems like more of a stalker/rapist-type than a boyfriend-type! "Really nice" guys do not push girls to be more physical than they want to be, and do not call girls obsessively!! He's not "really nice." You need to stop worrying about his feelings and make him understand without any question that you two will not be spending any more time together. Tell him (briefly and without emotions) that you are not interested in him, you will never be interested in him, and if he doesn't stop calling you, you will have to call the police and tell them that he is stalking you. (That's only an empty threat for now, but go ahead and say it.)
I'd also encourage you to tell your parents about this guy's behavior. He needs some help, and you need to let someone know in case his behavior gets worse, God forbid!
2006-12-03 17:27:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, if he was really nice he would respect you. He has no right to invade your personal space and if he truly scared you then there was a reason for it. Red FLAG honey. This is typical for a man who must control women and he sounds like the type that may even hurt you if you don't stop him now. Tell him you think he is a really great guy and that you just want to be friends for now and see how he reacts but don't do it alone. If he wouldn't stop touching you when you asked him to, he may not let you leave without a fight. Don't be so worried about HIS feelings. You have to feel safe in a relationship and this isn't starting out on that note. Be careful what ever you decide to do but I can promise you that if you don't stand up for yourself and demand the respect that you deserve, you will not recieve it. Be brave, be strong, the lord thy god is with you. Good luck
2006-12-04 01:02:24 · answer #2 · answered by lilphill1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's being that pushy then he ain't "really nice". Nice guys wouldn't make you feel like that. Tell him in a frank and articulate manner (ie: no possible ambiguous way he could read it) that you're "sorry, but this isn't working out" and you don't want to see him anymore. Tell him it's done. Wait, it's not over, if he's a bit of jerk (and it seems like he is), he's gonna be mean or try to get a reaction out of you right away. He's gonna either insult you or say something to pull at your heartstrings - you gotta stay on message and say it's done. If it gets nasty, you tell him you're calling the cops. If it goes there it goes there and it's his fault. Be strong. You can do it. Good luck.
2006-12-04 01:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by Steve Jem 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just call him. You'll probably sound nervous, and if he's smart enough to pick up on that, that's even better. Tell him that you think that you're moving too fast. Tell him that you're freaked out. There's nothing worse than having this feeling of dread and waiting so long you've dug yourself into a hole. If you keep communication open, if all he wants is to be physical, he'll leave. If he really likes you, he'll try to change. Communication is key. :)
2006-12-04 00:58:50 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be honest with him and let him know how you feel. Tell him he needs to give you some time to figure out what you truly want. If he's worth having, he'll respect your wishes. If he keeps pushing, be a little more forceful until he gets the message. Above all else, let him know exactly how you feel. If you just keep telling him you don't feel like hanging out and keep pushing him away, he'll start to think you don't like him. Most important, if he does anything that makes you feel really uncomfortable, let him know in no uncertain terms that you don't like it and if he keeps it up he can get lost.
2006-12-04 01:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by Meridianhawk42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From someone who has dealt with this type of thing many times- tell him very clearly that you don't want to see him and then never answer his calls again. This is serious. This guy sounds like a total freak. These types can stalk you for years, and can get sexually violent. I promise. I've met a few of them.
2006-12-04 01:02:59 · answer #6 · answered by solaralley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for one keep your myspace single. when he calls the next time ask him who's he going out with. If he says you- then remind him you said no but you'd like to stay friends. He may be nice but he also sounds a little obsessed with you a little too soon. If he doesn't get it then just be blunt with him and tell him I don't like you.
2006-12-04 01:08:10 · answer #7 · answered by Inspiremel0v3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take care of yourself... this person may be nice and all. But their behavior is creepy.
Anything that makes a woman uncomfortable in the presence of a man is a warning sign - and you need to rely on yourself, and your friends and family if need be - to fend off an unwanted males attentions.
Men can, and often do, very frightening things...
Take care of yourself - and tell him off... then use your friends and family for support if you need to. That's what we're here for.
I would kill to defend my niece... and I would certainly go out of my way to protect you.
=dh
2006-12-04 01:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These kind of guys you might believe are nice,but they are possessive and over-bearing.If you want a normal life move on, this could get out of control.
2006-12-04 01:00:58 · answer #9 · answered by Rather be dead than red... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really have to be honest to this guy and be very honest about how you feel about him. Tell him you just want to be friends and that you thought he was to pushy! Good luck to you.
2006-12-04 00:57:41 · answer #10 · answered by Alisha S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋