This is for other carers of people with a mental illness. I want to know what i can do. I have been supporting a really close friend with borderline personality for over a year. She confides in me and tells me that everything in her life is making her feel overwhelmed, trapped and hopeless. i want to help, i wish i could take away her pain but i can't. It is just so frustrating to only be able to offer her positive hope that seems meaningless, trying to tell her that things will work out and that she can do this when she is in so much pain seems so redundant. I just wish i could do more. I know i can't but i wish i could fix everything for her. Does anyone else struggle with this and what can i tell her or do for her to help, when i can't change the situation. Help?
2006-12-03 16:43:58 · 7 answers · asked by colonel 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
being there for her just doesn't seem to be enough.
2006-12-03 17:01:57 · update #1
You are doing all you can, and she is lucky to have to there at all...this particular illness can be so devastating and hard to deal with...yes, I have a dear friend who is suffering from this and it is almost impossible to deal with them...my patience is tested daily...It is painful..but all you can do is listen, love them, and pray that some day soon they get the help they need...I pray a lot also.
2006-12-03 18:20:16 · answer #1 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a truly kind, caring person. But the reality is that we cannot take away anyone else's pain.
We each need to set up healthy boundaries so that we don't get ill ourselves. We need to care for ourselves also.
Perhaps have a look at co-dependence for yourself.
Self-care can also be role modelling for both you and your friend
Give all of this to your Higher Power. Put it in a "G-d Jar". That really helps.
Good luck.
2006-12-04 01:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by concernedjean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can get this person to commit to working to wards even a small change may-bee one life goal even if it is small it will help.
Even people with personality disorders can benefit from written goals, keeping a journal can be helpful also. I have worked in mental health for some time and I find that we give up easily on people who we label as personality disorders, they can be difficult and a major challenge.
You need to set some boundaries yourself with this person also, you are going to be helpful to them. Hope this helps
2006-12-04 01:10:48 · answer #3 · answered by David R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you should try to focus on helping her with actual solutions to her real problems.
Is she in a bad relationship, job?? Situations can change with help.
2006-12-04 01:17:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make her realize that she is not well and tell her how much you care for her and how important it is to you and to her and her family that she get some help.
If she is completely unreasonable, then you need to find out who has her "power of attorney" or who is financially or medically responsible for her and ask them to help her - by having her committed somewhere that she can get the appropriate care it sounds like she needs.
2006-12-04 00:49:16 · answer #5 · answered by MissyChele 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's really "easy" just do what you are doing now be there for her that is more help than you can ever imagine even if you can't solve the problem(s) just be someone she can turn to.
2006-12-04 00:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by Daniel H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off "Pray" for her and lay it all into Gods hands. Until it is fully given over to him, only then can he do something. Have Faith and talk to her about Faith as well.
2006-12-04 00:53:38 · answer #7 · answered by Lore 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋