grateful to have a temp home but @ what cost ??

Question

I am 30 and I am a single mother I work full time own my own business.
For reasons beyond my control I had too move very quickly from our home and I am now staying with my mother and My brother(only for a month) we have been here two weeks.
How do I deal with her ? she controls everything on how much we are eating to where we go who we talk to on the phone ,I'd like to think it was the drinking that makes her act this way.There are no bounderies and my kids and I feel like we are walking on eggshells.We do not have any other housing options until our house is ready

Answer 1

Put up with it. 14 more nights and eventually the rest of your life without her.

Cant you do your own shopping cooking and use your own phone? Theres 3 less reasons for her to moan?

Answer 2

I understand your dilemma. My husband and I were living very successfully overseas and recently came back to the states to settle our family here since we just had a child and want to raise her here. We stayed with my mother for three months because we had no other living option and she is a big troublemaker and very abusive. But we knew we had no choice at the time and passed the time as quickly as possible. When we moved it was a big relief but I understand how you feel and it is complicated when you are in someone else home and must respect their wishes.

However, your mother should not cross boundaries regarding your parenting in any case. I would set things straight on that ASAP because even though it may be her home, you are their mother and should be in control of everything having to do with them. There is no need to yell or talk harshly about it, simply make it clear that you won't have it. Don't act as if living there is the only option in the world as she may try to use that to throw at you. Be polite and respectful and try to pass the time as quickly as you can. Also taking your kids for outings and having reasons to go and do things to stay busy will be an excuse to avoid dealing with her.

Answer 3

We had to live, 5 of us, in my husband's parents house for two months while we waited for the new house to be built, after the sell of our previous one. Due to the fact that we had 5, and not 4, furnished apartments were $1200 a month in our area. SO I UNDERSTAND.
At the time, I felt that I would die of embarrassment or conflict. I thought I would never sit on my own couch again. I thought my children would never get over sharing a room. I thought that her 'ways' were going to drive me to an early grave. We had no alcohol issues, instead, we had religion.
Once I was in my home, though, on my couch with my cooking, and my 'ways' I realized it WAS worth it. We saved $3700 in those two months, and that money in the bank felt really good.
I think it's just one of those things where you suck it up, bite your tongue, grit your teeth and keep going...We got out of the house A LOT, and that helped. Maybe with the drinking, you guys could get out and away, to protect yourselves.
In the end, you'll have your house, your own ways back, and a sober environment. It will feel really, really good. I promise.

Answer 4

Since there is an end in sight (2 more weeks?), I would just try to grin and bear it. Think how fortunate you are to have a place to stay temporarily. And promise yourself that you will never treat your children as your mother treats you.