I want to have sex and everything but i tense up and i have no idea why. I want to so bad. People think something happened to me as a kid and i just don't fully remember. How can i stop this besides relaxing? i know to do that but i can't and i want to so bad. It makes me depressed each time we try and i can't. Thanks
2006-12-03 16:09:57 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop trying so hard. I think you are just making yourself so worried, your body shuts down because of the tension. What's the hurry? If you relax, cuddle, kiss, hug, hold each other, you will be getting used to intimacy, and believe me, nature will take its' course. You can't force yourself, and anyway you shouldn't/ it should be out of love that you have sex, not sex for the sake of "doing it" ; just so you can say you did.
2006-12-03 16:17:14 · answer #1 · answered by Lola 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel lost just because you get all tensed up when you're about to have sex. Sex is something important in life which has to be understood i.e. if your mind is not into it then your body won't be into it either. Concentration is a big part in sex so if you're not concentrating because of the tension then I suggest that you have a talk about it with someone. If you're shy to talk to friends or family members, you can always try some professional help, maybe a councillor. Stress can be a big part of this so if there's something on the back of your mind, block it while you're about to have sex.
Please, don't feel depressed because your problem can be tackled in one way or another. But spending your time feeling depressed won't make you gain anything.
2006-12-04 00:21:06 · answer #2 · answered by Riana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of sexual problems are problems in your head. Women typically face these problems because of society and their sexual repression. You very well may have a "blocked" past experience that you should talk with a professional about. But you also may be overthinking things when you try to have sex too.
Just relax and enjoy and see if that helps.
2006-12-04 00:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by professionalfemale01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're using sex as a filler for some other deficiency in your life. Youre using your body as a tool when you need to be using your heart. Figure out what it is you really want because it obviously isn't sex.
2006-12-04 00:13:25 · answer #4 · answered by fracksfreak911 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Xanax works wonders. Or a glass of wine. Some Astroglide is good too. Slippery!
2006-12-04 21:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by Marcus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally i smoke a joint and i am totall relaxed. Nothing to think about except the moment and the feelings. Try yankin it first then pleasing the other person and see if that works.
2006-12-04 00:12:29 · answer #6 · answered by J M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stop wanting it so much. u're putting pressure on yourself, maybe that's why you tense up. you need to know why you want it that much. it's probably for the wrong reasons and that's what's holding you back. maybe u're not as ready as you want to believe you are. give yourself time and wait for the right moment.
2006-12-04 00:20:05 · answer #7 · answered by chris s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you loosen up by having a couple of drinks before hand. Only if your over 21 that is.
2006-12-04 00:11:41 · answer #8 · answered by Ocean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably self conscious about a small penis. Try doing older ladies as they will be more grateful and won't care so much.
2006-12-04 00:12:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are just not ready. I know that you think that you are but your body is saying something different. Just wait awhile.
2006-12-04 00:13:23 · answer #10 · answered by shellese2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋