How do I make sure I don't pass the pain on to others?
2006-12-03 16:04:22 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I personally had 19 years of emotional abuse from my ex-husband, and all four of my kids had it from him. I personally, had to get help from the professionals, and I'm still not healed. Only time will completely heal you. But what does help, is talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and write, write, write, write, write, write, write! Also, going to a 12-Step group, such as Alan-non helps. Or CODA can help, or the one called WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH! If you could ever find a group called EA, EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS is wonderful. But, it is all about, you helping you!
You make sure you don't pass it on to others, by helping yourself to heal; admitting that the problem is inside of you now; and knowing that only YOU can change YOU! You aren't going to change those around you that caused the pain, and you aren't going to make the pain go away and neither are you going to heal on your own without help. That is like telling a diabetic to feel better without taking care of his/her blood sugars. The diabetic gets help with diet, exercise and insulin, and we get help with a very good support group! and the forgiveness of ourselves. When we have been abused, we tend to blame ourselves, instead of the abuser. We also need to learn to love ourselves. One of my mottos is: THOSE WHO DESERVE TO BE LOVED THE LEAST, NEEDS IT THE MOST. For a long time, I applied this to others, but when in actuality we need to apply it to ourselves. But, get help, talk with the professionals. You may have to shop around to find a good one. If you can't afford one, then try the 12-Step programs. There is a lot of healing in those rooms, I know, I've been in them.
2006-12-03 22:37:41 · answer #1 · answered by Ikeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk about it, read about it, go to support groups about it, get a therapist if you need it. Realize that despite what you know you WILL make some mistakes and that it is a good thing that you don't want to pass on what was dealt out to you.
2006-12-04 00:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
emotional abuse can be hard to deal with. With out professional help, time may be your only cure.
2006-12-04 00:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by qttrocpe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋