My significant other became critically ill and was in the hospital in SICU for over a month in a coma. We dated for 3 yrs. when he was hospitalized, I stacked his mail on the table from his box outside, watered his plants, fed his dogs and went to see him 3-4 times weekly. I locked his paycheck up in his safe. His adult kids went crazy and locked me out of his house, let his plants die, went thru all of his belongings and went crazy trying to find his paycheck which was locked up in his house. They treated me like crap. When it was time to come home, I picked him up, broke into his house from a back door so we could get in and took care of him. I helped him with his newly diagnosed diabetes. Now he treats me like I deserved it. Im a RN and work in a hospital. I am not stupid. He blames me for going thru his belongings which I did not do. His kids are sly. They have nothing to do with him unless it involves $$$$. How should I handle this? I am ashamed of his behavior.
2006-12-03 15:28:49 · 12 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's his behavior, not yours, so don't be ashamed.
Take a break from the situation, so you can think straight.
You can still be supportive and draw your lines. You are not his nurse. It isn't like it is at work. There is not the control as there is in your usual nurse environment.
You can judge the situation better from a safer distance.
Take a weekend for yourself to get some perspective.
You have to give yourself priority over anything else.
That wont make you selfish or neglectful, just wiser.
Good luck, I was a caregiver for 6 years, very long unappreciated years. I can't regain that back, but I wish someone had told me to stop and think of myself, I probably would have also done a better job for her and me.
2006-12-03 15:46:48 · answer #1 · answered by Pat B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him the truth, that all you did was take care of his house for him and then the kids locked you out and they went though his stuff. If he doesn't believe then he doesn't deserve you at all. You stood by his side and never left. And did everything you could do. If he can't see that then he doesn't see you. You need to move on. But first tell him everything. And tell him how you feel. And if he doesn't want to listen but you don't want to leave cuz I'm sure you love him or you wouldn't have stayed, then take a break he'll see when his kids aren't there for him. Good luck.
2006-12-03 15:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by mommy23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would write in a letter explaining what happened and walk away from the relationship. You don't deserve to be treated like this. I don't know if you'd want to be with this guy anyways if his children don't seem to like you. I'm really sorry to hear that this happened to you. Maybe when he realizes that you are gone and that his children don't really want to help him out he will regret what he did to you and apologize for his actions.
2006-12-03 15:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by L.M.L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of i might record for newborn help, discuss with a criminal professional and enable hubby understand that he won't be welcome decrease back while he's accomplished taking a holiday from existence at the same time as you look after all of it. I think of you have probable been dealing with all of it all alongside. enable him bypass and shop him long gone. do no longer bash him to the infants. take care of them and take care of you. Make your place the domicile it may well be and could be and not employing a loser dragging you all down. Do what you may to shrink your costs and carry him responsible for helping your infants. He sucks. you may now concentration on your infants, your place and not would desire to attempt to hold him up. do no longer waste any extra time being mad. it particularly is what it particularly is. you do no longer would desire to spend your skill on him anymore. this is your existence. p.c.. up the ball and run with it.
2016-10-13 23:13:58 · answer #4 · answered by porix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to his doctor about how he is acting. Sounds like he has been through a lot. You have too for that matter. Should this not relate to his physical condition sit down with him and discuss it. Explain what you will take and what you will not take from him and his kids.
2006-12-03 15:35:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are best to walk away. Let him contact you if he wants to an decide if you even want to be there. I 'm sorry that you went thru that but that's life. How can you even ask here when he even questions you? Walk away and see what happens
2006-12-03 15:36:20 · answer #6 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you reached out when this man was in in his hour of need and it bit you back.Its funny how family gets when they think that one may son be passing greed that is .dont blame yourself,you stood by and did more than most would be proud of your self for being so loyal even when it got bumpy.and as far as now if he sees you in that way im sorry but its time to move on to woder horizons
2006-12-03 15:34:23 · answer #7 · answered by resigned 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit the relationship. You deserve someone who appreciates your concern, care and love. This man is unappreciative so don't allow yourself to get hurt again. Move-on.
2006-12-03 15:34:07 · answer #8 · answered by SingGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is feeling down....and not thinking....his new dx has him feeling sorry.
Knowing what you did and how much you care...I would talk to -him tell him every thing...be honest and up+
If this doesn't work....I would distance myself until he does a turn around...an d wake sup
Best wishes
2006-12-03 15:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a saint. I would have left him the first time he accused me of stealing or going through any of his things.
2006-12-03 15:35:36 · answer #10 · answered by jbpammy004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋