I have been dating someone in the military for about 2yrs and we have kinda talked about marriage and kids etc. However, he recently found out that he has to go back to Iraq, and this is when he know wants to marry me. I think this has to do with this new development. When i brought this up with him about 2mths ago, he said that we still have a lot of things that we need to do before marriage. Now... going to Iraq is his definite fate and he wants to all of a sudden marry me. I think maybe he's afraid that something will happen while he is there. Can someone help me with this?
2006-12-03 14:49:28 · 8 answers · asked by kay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm not there, so I don't ACTUALLY know the truth. So my suggestion may be completely off (but it may be right!). That said...
Sounds like he loves you and is just realising it.
However, YOU have to be ready for marriage. Marriage is a union, not a solo adventure. You BOTH need to be ready and want it.
If you love him, I think it would be best to get engaged. It gives you more time to think about everything, learn about him, see how war changes him, and, it would give him something to live for. "I've got my future wife back home, I'm not giving up!"
If you marry him before he leaves, he might feel guilty after a few months, that he prevented you from being happy with someone else. But he'll still have a lady to come home to.
Statisticaly, there is a very small chance he actually WILL die. So either way, plan on him coming back (but also prepare for him not to).
I recommend you get enganged now, and married when he returns. But follow your heart, and listen to your mind.
Marriage can be long, so it deserved a long answer. Hope it helps.
God bless.
2006-12-03 15:34:26 · answer #1 · answered by Pierce W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends of mine rushed their wedding forward by two years because the groom was going to Iraq. First, he was nervous that something might happen. Second, he wanted to know he would have her to come home to. Third, he wanted her to have his military benefits (which are very nice, by the way).
This worked out well for them, since they were in love and going to get married anyway. However, I have heard of some people where this didn't work so well. Being deployed can change a person, and he might not be the same when he comes back as he is now. There will be an adjustment period. It's up to you whether you want to adjust as his wife or as his girlfriend.
2006-12-04 10:05:05 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what if it is because he's going to Iraq? Maybe going to Iraq and realizing he could DIE there just opened up his eyes to be more serious about life. People who have their whole life ahead of them with no threat to it anytime soon tend to take a lot of things in life for granted. Perhaps he's not taking you for granted anymore.
Or maybe he just wants that security. If you suspect that this feeling is irrational and temporary, have a serious talk with him. The best answers in relationships can only be found out through talking between the two involved. Tell him you do not want him to come back and then change his mind when everything is settled down again. If he seems sincere that he's serious, then marry him. It's what you want.
2006-12-04 02:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to talk to him about it.
I wont sit here and say that I know what he's thinking, but maybe you should wait til he gets back.
You don't seem too sure about it, so don't do it. If you have been together this long, you will survive another deployment to Iraq.
2006-12-04 05:37:50 · answer #4 · answered by konstipashen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe he really loves you,and he finally realizes it now that hes going to Iraq,its quite common and Ive heard of it before.I think in some way people feel better if they have that "special person" waiting for them and thinking about them,sometimes praying for them.I wish the best of luck to you both and hopefully you can work it out.
2006-12-03 23:03:20 · answer #5 · answered by sasyone 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you ready to marry him? Perhaps you can put it off till he gets back. I would have a hard time marrying a man only to see him go to war shortly after "I do".
2006-12-03 22:56:22 · answer #6 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HMMM! Please tell him how you feel about him and that you take marriage very seriously. Tell him that you would love to marry hom when he his more sure of himself until then you'll continue to be there for hom while he is off serving his country.
2006-12-04 00:42:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it off for now.
2006-12-03 22:57:15 · answer #8 · answered by Floyd B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋