I'm in my mid-40s. I recently met a young man of 19. He made the first move and all the passes. I just kind of fell under his spell. However, all my friends, and several other people, all think I'm robbing the cradle. He's a consenting adult, I'm a consenting adult, WHAT is the problem? Some input and insights would be most welcome. Thanks.
2006-12-03 14:45:38 · 6 answers · asked by SKVY 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey whatever floats your boat as long as he is legal...I say go for it...make sure you dont give him money thou_
2006-12-03 14:48:03 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is an overloaded question, because I think that you are taking on two very different prejudices of American society. Not only are you in a homosexual relationship, but you are in a homosexual relationship with a man more than half your age.
Homosexuality is a really new part of our culture. I'm sorry, I should say that it's a very newly accepted part of our culture. I could start ranting about how oppressive this heterosexist patriarchy that we exist in is, but I will keep my feminist vocabulary in my pocket for the time being. Suffice it to say that you are a threat to a rule that has been ingrained in people from the day they were born into America: Men are the bacon-bringers. There is a massive pressure on the male half of this society to be the epitomy of masculine. You don't really need me to give you examples since they are everywhere. We all know the stereotypical love story about a man loving a women and needing to rescue her from all the bad things in her life. We've all heard the high-school/college hazing that goes on. By being openly gay, you are challenging all of this.
The other thing you're up against is the social disapproval of dating outside your generation. I mean, c'mon. Tell me people weren't at first disapproving about Ashton/Demi. I can't think of another power couple with such an age difference. This I don't have an explanation for. Perhaps people think that, as you are older, you are talking him or influencing him into doing something that he doesn't want to do. It isn't fair, but it's often what people think. Try asking your friends why this bothers them. I bet they won't be able to put it into words.
Your relationship is your own business, no one elses. You know if you want to make it something lasting or if he is just a passing figure in your life. I would suggest, though, before you fall too much in love, that you consider the fact that you and he may be in two quite different places in life. I tell you this because I so very much wish that someone had told me before I fell in love with a man 9 years my senior.
Relationships are so complicated sometimes! When it isn't the participants of the relationship making it complicated, it's our love/sex obsessed society. Honestly.
2006-12-03 23:13:09 · answer #2 · answered by Sarahbeare 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say he's 19,well that's an adult. Love doesn't have an age limit. Don't worry about what others think. Go with your gut feelings and tell this person wether you feel the same way. Good luck.
2006-12-03 22:50:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does he know what he is getting into, the humility he faces when people start making fun of him, etc. If I were a queer i'd be so ashamed of myself that i would crawl in the hole and pull it in after me. If he knows what the **** he is getting into go to it.
2006-12-03 22:54:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because when he was 5 you were 30......and already happily GAY.
2006-12-03 22:48:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they are gay,change your ways before it is too late,turn to god
2006-12-03 22:59:24 · answer #6 · answered by ironman 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋