i have an 11 year old son, i am 31. my boyfriend, who i love with every cell in my body, is 42 and has an 8 year old son. we have talked briefly early in our relationship how we didnt want more kids. now, i think that i would love more than anything to have a child with him, but i am not sure how to express this without frightening him. help!
2006-12-03 14:45:36 · 11 answers · asked by charliesheen 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
just tell him, you don't want to get married and then feel stuck. you also don't want to put the kids through that. who knows, maybe he wants the same thing.
2006-12-03 14:48:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
First of all: why would you want to have a child with a man to whom you are not married? who has made no commitment to you. Then there is your son to think about as well.
Your boyfriend is too old for more children. If you want more children then find another, younger, man
By the time the child would be born he would be 43 or 44 and then he would be 50 when the child went to school.
I have some friends who married late and had a child when he was 42 and the whole thing is a disaster. The child is great but her birth ruined their marriage and he cannot in any way relate to the child, although he does love her. By the time she graduates high school he will be retired.
2006-12-03 22:54:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can somewhat feel your pain. I have 4 daughters..one when I was 17 with a boyfriend and then I got married and had 3 more. I am 34 and thought I never wanted anymore kids, then I met my boyfriend who is only 27 and wasn;t sure how he felt about kids. So it was agreed if ever...it would be LATER. Well I decided this year I wanted a baby and you just have to be honest and explain why it is important to you. I didn't plan it, but we did talk and I just found out I am pregnant:) I think humor is how I approached it at first, more in a joking manor and then kept on talking.
2006-12-03 22:51:11 · answer #3 · answered by lilplexy 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Why not wait to see if you are going to get married? You both already have children and blending a relationship with kids is difficult enough. It could be just me but; isn't having more kids something that should be talked about before marriage? It could also just be your clock ticking. If you really, really, really, want more kids, then talk to him about it. Whatever you do, don't be sneaky and get pregnant when he doesn't know or after talking to him he says he definetly doesn't want more.
2006-12-03 22:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have a special reason for having another kid, you shouldn't. There are 2 reasons:
1) You shouldn't break a pre-condition for your relationship
2) Overpopulation in the world is a serious issue, and you know how much a kid consumes in his lifetime, do you?
2006-12-03 22:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by nhk_5 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honesty and communication are the keys to a healthy marriage. You've got nothing to lose by bringing up the subject. Tell him you just want to discuss it openly and rationally.
2006-12-03 22:51:02 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him how you feel, I would say something like I know we said no more kids but I was thinking a baby would complete the family...what do you think? No pressure.
2006-12-03 22:49:52 · answer #7 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you get married. It's only fair to the child.
2006-12-03 23:11:48 · answer #8 · answered by party_pam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just open up and tell him
2006-12-03 22:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ Sydd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him your true feelings , what have u got to lose?
2006-12-03 22:47:18 · answer #10 · answered by Sxoxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋