so me and my gf of two years pretty much just broke up. i have a feeling she will do something vindictive...?

Question

what can i do to prepare for impact? ive been through some stuff before, read the link, but i don't want history to repeat itself.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=As2VyzVWHGovh.7dGWj8npjsy6IX?qid=20061203040139AAWGCB4

brad, if you think the bjs are that great you must not get laid much.

sorry, must clarify, the girl that just broke up with me is a different girl than in the link...

guess i wasn't very clear. the girl in the link is from a completely different relationship, we broke up over 2 1/2 years ago. about 2 years ago i started dating the one that just broke up with me, as of tonight, im worried she may do something vindictive.

the latest girl is not a psycho, she is smart, but she always has to have the last word, and she has a temper.

Answer 1

I read your story and your other post also.

I know what is like to duck when coffee mugs are being thrown at me (in my own home from his ex wife), coming out of my house in the morning and seeing her truck flying towards me on the sidewalk and wondering what was her next attack going to be like.The best thing 'she' did was ate a handful of meds washed it down with some JD and ended up in the mental ward.....for three days. This woman does have a REAL mental issue. She did stop the physical attacks....but 5 years later there are still the verbal attacks.

You have all ready said, she is not exactly a rational person....I am sure she isn't . This is coming from a woman......I have seen woman do much more crazier stuff during and after a breakup than I have seen men do. And you called her a couple of other names.

There is no real way to prepare for the impact.....because you really don't know what their master plan of attack is.

The best thing to do is try and avoid the next impact. Stay away, FAR away from her. Have nothing to do with her. Maybe impossible at first.....ignore her totally. She just might get tired of it and give. Don't let her in where you are living....ever.....I know it's hard when they kick in the door....if it is her don't open the door. Avoid places she may be.....if you know she goes to a certain club....don't ever go there. Avoid crossing her path at all times. Don't do anything to provoke her.....like even talk to her...hang up on her and turn off your phone. Block her from your email. Change your phone number, if possible move. Cut all ties with her and the past your had with her. Call the police and press charges on her if she attacks again, show her you mean business.

What you want to do is not give her a reason to attack. She may be sitting around dreaming up reasons to attack.....you can't stop that. You have control of what you do.....avoid her. You have to really look at what you maybe doing that gives her a 'reason' (in her own mind) to attack you.


Maybe when someone else comes into her life she will leave her alone.


PS...Alex, I assume you do not have children with this woman. Be thankful if you did not. The clean break should be easier for you.

Expect attacks on new women who enter your life.

The ex wife is involved in numerous short term relationships, everytime she has a break up the terror threat goes into the red zone. We are in the red zone right now. According to her I took her life, her husband, her home, her son, her family, her friends......when she flairs up I worry. I am the subject of her verbal attacks, no I did not have a part in breaking of the marriage, I did not take her life, we a new life, but I wasn't a part of her master plan.....in her mind he was never suppose to get attached again. She works less than 1/2 mile from where we live, I only work part time....I do worry about what she may try to do...on her way home from work. I have pepper spray by the front door. The child is almost 13.....we have until he is 18 to put up with her. This has been going on for over 5 years now and we have 6 more years to go....well, 6 years, 1 month, and 6 days to be exact......yes, we count it in days. Yes, in some ways she does control are lives. I can deal with it but it gets tough, I would never live him because of her. But, I know of numerous relatonships that broke up over the crazy ex wife or girlfriend.

When you have to deal with someone like this, it can ruin your life. We worry when she has yet another break up, when she is being 'nice', we worry about what she is doing to the kid (took her court....only got split). We listen to the comments, the death threats, we have had unexplained damage done to my car, the threats of driving her SUV into the house....and we worry about when and if words will become actions again.

Make a clean break and run. Good luck.

Answer 2

This is what you do. Just know that something is coming, but do not focus on expecting something. Look at it like this, you're in a car that is speeding towards a wall, if you worry too hard about the impact then when you hit the wall you will be too weak to brace yourself fully. If you ignore that you are gonna hit the wall then the impact can be crippling. But if you relax and mentally prepare for the impact then you just might have time to put on a seatbelt. The best thing that I can tell you is to tell yourself that whatever happens, you WILL NOT let it affect you the way she wants it to, and no matter what does happen keep telling your self it won't. Hope that this helps.

Answer 3

OK, I am lost now, if you are done and this happened quite some time ago, what are you currently worried about her doing something vindictive? Be grateful you got away from her, what a psycho witch from hell. Or is this a new relationship you are worried about? Oh my, certainly you did not find another psycho. And if so, stop moving in with these women and signing leases to apartments so when you do break up it is a clean and easy break. You gave me a headache with this drama. God bless****

Answer 4

Alex. I feel sorry for you. As I'm sure you would for me given that I was with a girl about 10 times as bad and was with her for over 25 years. In the end, I left her, but not before she destroyed my entire life. Good for you for leaving.

After I left the demon, she harassed me to the ends of the earth. She caused me to lose my 6-digit salary job, she damaged my car and once when she chanced seeing me, she assualted me. I tried to have her charged with criminal harassment but everyone was against me--police, DA, etc. I had to make 3 visits to the police station and 7 visits to court (she only had to appear once) and finally she pleaded guilty and was given a year probation, which her lawyer later had rescinded. So much for justice.

Let this serve to anyone reading what you could get yourself in for if you choose badly and then do not correct your mistake.

BTW, Alex. A girl like that is capable of anything. I was lucky in a way. After I left and she went to move in with family, they couldn't take her crap and kicked her out after less than 3 weeks. She ended up in another city living in a guy's mother's house whom she had had an affair with while we were married. They deserve each other and she's too far away to bother me, anymore.

Answer 5

I thought you said in your last question she got all crazy two years ago.... anyway, all you can really do is make sure all of your personal information remains as private as possible, make sure your phone and address aren't listed and keep your doors locked, park your car in a different place two or three times a week and if you think she'll still try and do something, get a restraining order. Good luck.

Answer 6

If this was two years ago, what makes you think she will pop back into your life? Sounds like a horrifying story, very similar to my marriage break up. If she does anything report her and hopefully she will be caught and prosecuted for her actions.
Good luck and be careful in the future.

Answer 7

I don't know what you have done to get her dander up, but set back and wait and see if she is going to do something vindictive then try to pull out the props. She may be so glad to get rid of you that she doesnt want to stir up any sh**. Just wait it out.

Answer 8

Wear a cup.

Answer 9

what should you care. are you not broke up? i would'nt give the energy on her wondering what she is up to. if your that worried about it then why did you brake up for? hooooooo caaarrreeessss.!

Answer 10

just go with the flow . it can't last forever... she will get a life eventually..good luck