JOB ANNOUNCEMENT
The Kingdom of God is hiring!
Are you ready to apply? Do you qualify?
JOB TITLE: Disciples for Christ
JOB DESCRIPTION: Tell the dying world how to live through Jesus Christ
NUMBER OF AVAILABLE POSITIONS: Unlimited; everyone is welcome--preachers, teachers, singers, musicians, missionaries, custodians, food servers, and numerous others that we just can't list them all here
EXCEPTION TO AVAILABLE POSITIONS: The vacancy of BOSS has already been filled by the Holy Spirit
QUALIFICATIONS: Must have previously sinned and been blood washed; must be willing to press toward the mark of the high calling in Christ Jesus
EXPERIENCE NEEDED: None necessary; experience will be earned through on-the-job training
EDUCATION: The Holy Spirit will teach you all things
BENEFIT PACKAGE/SALARY: God (the employer) shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus
INSURANCE: Access to the Master Physician
PACKAGE ALSO INCLUDES: Love, joy, peace, patience, long suffering; Lawyer, Comforter, and a Wonderful Counselor
RECOMPENSE FOR COMPLETING THE JOB ASSIGNMENT: The most important benefit, ETERNAL LIFE with the employer.
DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Before the return of Jesus Christ; date/hour not known; wise to apply TODAY
IMPORTANT WARNING: Satan and HIS DEMONS need not apply
2006-12-03 13:49:34 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Theres way to much sexual harassment in that organization for me to contemplate working there. Plus the glass ceiling for women at the executive level will be there downfall
2006-12-03 13:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Clever, but I'm working elsewhere.
Wish to compare?
Job Title: Evolving spiritual being
Job Description: To become what you were eternally meant to be
Available positions: Unlimited
Qualifications: To have a living spirit
Experience needed: Depends on employment level
Education: Eternal OJT
Benefit Package: Divine assistance constantly available
Insurance: No death is eternal
Package also includes: Self-assurance, peace, ability to remain serene through trials and tribulations.
Recompence for completing Job assignment: One step further up the ladder of growth.
Deadline for applications: None.
No warnings as one is always employed; recognition of employment is incumbent on applicant.
2006-12-03 13:59:02 · answer #2 · answered by Deirdre H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a good stiff drink, or something. Anyone who could equate God with an employer hiring job applicants is a couple of miters short on the crown moulding...
2006-12-03 13:56:28 · answer #3 · answered by steviewag 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sturdy success- i might take her if I had the money for maintenance... yet a approach or the different i do no longer think of an elderly mare might take excitement in a flow-united states of america trailer journey. optimistically somebody else is questioning alongside the comparable strains as you and rescues her.
2016-10-17 16:21:37 · answer #4 · answered by sachiko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about all the rude comments. They did read this and the seed was planted. Bless you.
2006-12-03 13:57:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Good question, very creative. You'll probably get alot of nasty answers though.
2006-12-03 13:56:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol that is a new one...i'll sign up cause that is the greates pay out there
2006-12-03 13:57:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm overqualified. Sorry.
2006-12-03 13:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder how people nowadays can still believe in things like Satan and demons.
Sounds pretty silly to me.
2006-12-03 13:55:05 · answer #9 · answered by Reload 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I applied years ago. Everyone in my immediate family did too!
BENEFITS ARE GREAT!
2006-12-03 13:54:14 · answer #10 · answered by CGS 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋