My sisters three sons are still living at home 26, 24, 21 is this normal?

Question

FYI, they all went to great prep schools and colleges.

Answer 1

Obviously she is enabling them to stay there. I will assume she is still doing everything for them. I hope they are helping her out with rent, food and some utilities?
Some parents don't let go and some times kids know when they have a good thing going. My sister's daughters are 33 and 28 and they still live at home. And they have great jobs too. One is a pharmacist and the other a real estate agent! I ask them all the time, "Why don't you move out, don;t you want to have your own space, invite men over and have privacy or even time by yourself"? They tell me honestly, well, it's cheaper to stay here and mom cooks and does my laundry. Well, I nearly slapped my sister...lol...and then I told her she needs to stop doing those things and allow those girls to fend for themselves. They are book smart but common sense stupid because they are spoon fed. This will eventually come back to bite them in the a&& one day.
Talk to your sisters kids and see what they have to say. Then tell your sister.

Answer 2

It only became abnormal the last hundred years or so. This is the way many families lived for eons.
What is normal for her may not be normal for you. When she is uncomfortable with the situation she will make them do something else. And when they are ready to go off and be on their own, if ever, they will do so. As long as there is no force, coercion or grousing on either side, I don't think there is a problem. Let them be "normal" in their own way.

Answer 3

It's more and more normal these days, especially for people under 30 because of the job market. In some European countries most young people still stay at home until they get married, so the U.S. is kind of unusual in kicking people out at 18.

Answer 4

What kind of jobs do they have? Answering this question might illuminate the issue a bit more. Maybe they stay at home because the only jobs they can get are very low-waged. Have they attempted to move out before?

Answer 5

Obviously, this is normal to your sister and her children. I would not call this normal for my self and my sons. I have four and the two eldest children could not wait to leave and go off to college and exhibit some independence. The two youngest and still in school. God bless****

Answer 6

It must feel normal to your sister and her adult sons.
If they are all paying their share of the rent, and keeping out of her business, and not bringing their women for overniters, its a workable situation.
If your sister wants her privacy, and they are invading, then it is not allright.

Answer 7

Maybe it is, or not in other families, but apparently it is in hers, and that's their business. I wouldn't worry about it. Your sisters a big girl and make her own decisions. Saying anything to her about it will only cause friction and resentment between you.

Answer 8

You know now a days I have seen this....maybe they do not have a job which allows them to move out....I don't think I would worry, I would let my sister do that....when the kids get ready to move, they will.

Answer 9

Start charging them rent, utilities, and groceries.
You have to cut the cords at some point. You are enabling their laziness and helplessness. You are hurting them.

You may as well have another baby, and throw it into a lake without teaching it how to swim.

Answer 10

If they take care of her because she is sick, then i find it perfectly normal. If they are just bums, and your sister is perfectly healthy (not to offend you nephews) then i thing that it's time to kick em' out of the house. Unless they have no where to go. :] Hope that helped.