My daughter is 3 1/2 and refuses to learn to do things.?

Question

She is very smart and can count very high, know her abc's lots of words but she refuses to learn how to go potty, ride her bike, play with her sit and spin etc. I know kids do things in their own time but jeez. What should I do besides wait? She is the only child.

Answer 1

There doesn't seem to really be anything out of the ordinary with your daughter. Even with training wheels riding a bike can be challenging for a 3 1/2 year old child. There is nothing wrong with her choosing not to have an interest in certain play things. Children usually go through stages as it is. As far as potty training, it's even less of an issue. As a parent with your first child you are doing well. You just need to put worries aside (every parent has them with their first), and enjoy your precious little girl. Lesser parents in their fear to fit in with everyone would be punishing their first child for not being potty trained already. I have read accounts from pediatricians that potty training in most circumstances should take place between the ages of 3-5 years. I had two friends that had daughters in diapers past their 5th birthdays. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. in fact I believe it's a sign of good parenting by being patient and understanding. In working arround children over the years I've been arround numerous more little boys and girls that were in diapers at 4 and 5. On a side note, I would advise sticking with diapers and not worrying about pull-ups unless she's almost there (despite what others may/will advise). Just remember that even if the average child is doing one thing your daughter is a unique individual who will make decisions on her own time. Also, know that time flies all to fast, and soon the years will be gone, and you'll probably be teasing your daughter about things she did as a toddler. good luck!

Answer 2

The best way to motivate a child is praise them every time they do something right. That means you could end up praising her for doing something other than what she is supposed to be doing as long as she is doing it right. The idea is to let her know she will be praised for good behavior. (I know this can be difficult when the adult is having a difficult day but it is the only way to help the child succeed.) Children love to be praised and showered with positive feedback. I would also recommend a sticker or reward chart. This is something that helps many children that I work with keep doing the right things because they can keep a visual record of the accomplishments. They also love it when you keep the chart on the refrigerator or in another public spot so everyone can see how great they are doing. Your rewards for her can be the stickers, small toys, small treats, extra play time, extra bedtime story time, a Sunday ice cream trip, or whatever you would like it to be. I recommend keeping the prizes smalls as to not overwhelm her but that is your preference. Another suggestion I have about toileting her is see if she will use a regular toilet instead of the junior models. I hope that this helps and if not I would suggest contacting your pediatrician about these concerns. I know it has to be difficult with your first child, not knowing when or what is suppose to happen. They are wonderful at assisting mothers with the identification of developmental milestones of children that they are currently seeing. Good Luck! "One sticker and a lot praise all day keeps the doctor away"

Answer 3

At 3 1/2 she is old enough to understand that there are benefits to learning to do things. I would work hard on that potty issue. Not only is it an extra amount of work, it is costly to pay for diapers. I think that she is very young to ride a bike, and the sit and spin isn't mandatory. Are there activities which you can with hold and give her as rewards for using her potty? What does she want that you could use?
I'd focus on the toileting. She needs to understand that using a diaper is a baby behavior and she has out grown it.

Answer 4

I have two kids. The boy was so much easier than my daughter. But what i did with her was, and its going to sound silly but it really worked with her. I made a sticker chart in the bathroom. If she went pee pee, she got to pick out one sticker and place the sticker on the chart herself, if she went number 2, she got two stickers and also placed those on the chart herself. I also told her if she got 10 stickers in one day that I would treat her to something, whether it was a doll, or some other toy. Plus after she goes potty by herself clap and dance to show her how proud of her you are. Sounds silly i know but she was potty trained at 2 years and 1 month. As for the bike and sit and spin, she will learn that on her own. My son is almost five, and he learned how to ride at 4. My daughter hasnt learned it yet though. They learn when their ready and at their own pace. Good Luck with everything!!!!

Answer 5

Incentives. Tell her that she can't have anything sweet unless she starts going potty. (don't worry about what she plays or doesn't play with, that's general interest) Using the potty is a milestone for a child. Try to encourage her to use the potty by rewarding her after the first success...then after the next 5 successes. Hold up a great, beautiful present (wrapped very pretty and elaborate) and after a whole week of success (all or none, make sure no accidents in the week) she can HAVE the present.

Answer 6

I am a preschool teacher and see this a lot! It is just your child learning at her own pace and being stubborn. You would be suprised at how many children aren't potty trained by 3 1/2. They take their time and do it their way whether parents/teachers like it or not. Don't force her to do things shes not ready or interested in doing yet. She will come around over time!

Answer 7

My 14 year old is the same way!

LOL!

Seriously, get her around some other kids. Especially kids that are around 4 or 5 if possible. So she can be "big" like them. Where I live there is a drop in center that you can leave your kids for a couple hours at a time. It's free if you volunteer a couple of hours. Other kids always have a lot of influence. And kids definately don't like being the baby of a group!

Answer 8

Try to encourage her in different ways...I don't know what you have tried already but i would suggest reading books about the subject for one and talk to her about how it is important to do these "big girl" things...sounds like she is interested in learning tell her that she needs to learn to use the potty to go to school. the bike thing will come with time and not such a big deal. She'll get it don't worry.

Answer 9

well you can't make her play w/ a toy if she doesn't want to...but the potty thing...it's about time she learned to do that...but it's just going to take some coaching from mom and or dad...the deal maybe spend less time trying to teach her to ride a bike/use a sit and spin and use that effort towards potty training...

Answer 10

Dont force her. In fact tell her shes not allowed to do those things.