I have this male co-worker who is more than just an acquaintance, but we are not very close either. He used to be interested in me, and we went out to dinner together once sometime ago, but we sort of drifted apart after I made it clear to him that I am not interested.
A couple of days ago as we were chatting, he commented on my '*** curve', which made me feel uncomfortable. I feel that it is inappropriate for someone who is just a co-worker to comment on that part of my body and now I feel real pissed at him and a little at myself for not saying anything back. Am I over-acting?
If he comments on my *** again, what should I say without making things awkward for us at the office?
2006-12-03 11:40:25 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Didn't know the word @$$ would be censored...
Note: *** = @$$
2006-12-03 11:41:11 · update #1
If he says something more, you can respond with something firm but polite, like "I really don't think comments like that are appropriate for a work environment. Please don't say anything like that again."
If he persists, report him to HR or your boss.
2006-12-03 11:42:28 · answer #1 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You're not over-reacting. Those kind of comments are inappropriate and are not allowed at work. Next time you see him, tell him it made you feel uncomfy, and remind him he could lose his job if you were to report it. Ask him not to do any of that kind of thing again, or you will report it. Or go ahead and report it now, whichever you feel best in doing. Don't just take it and not ever say anything so you won't rock the boat in the office, or so he won't get into trouble, he knows he's not supposed to do stuff like that. And you deserve to be treated with respect!
2006-12-03 11:47:36 · answer #2 · answered by Myst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, accept the fact that you're probably going to lose the 'friendship' unless this guy is more mature than he seems to be. Having said that, I would start off politely. Ex. "Excuse me, but that's not appropriate. Please don't do it again. I mean it." If he does it again, then 'lower the boom' on him. Tell him if he says anything again you'll file a sexual harassment charge against him. You also need to keep a journal list of what transpires between the two of you, (related to this issue, not all transactions) starting with this most recent comment. It should include dates, times, statements made. This will be admissible evidence - even in a court of law - if it comes to that.
2006-12-03 11:48:56 · answer #3 · answered by Blue 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I'd say on one hand you are over-reacting a smidgen.
HOWEVER, it's not very professional of him to make remarks like that while on the clock.
Just calm down, take a few slow breaths and go to him and explain to him in a diplomatic way how you feel about the incident and (if it'll make you feel better) that you'll let it slide THIS time, but if it happens again you'll be forced to report him.
He probably doesn't even realize that he upset you because of your "past". So don't be surprised, yourself, if you get that reaction from him.
2006-12-03 11:48:48 · answer #4 · answered by x_southernbelle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be construed as sexual harrassment, if you wanted go to official. Most companies have strict policies against this and list it in their gross misconduct clauses.
You have to work with this man, and it sounds that you would be quite happy with him except for his comments. Take him aside privately and tell him firmly that his comments are unwelcome and inappropriate in the workplace. Tell him that you don't really want to take offical action but you will unless the unacceptable behaviour stops. Tell him you value your friendship and respect him as a colleague and that is why you would prefer that the behaviour stops and neither of you mention it again.
2006-12-03 11:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by MarkEverest 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not appropriate in general, but since you know he is interested and have been on a date, it's understandable. However, he needs to maintain a professional working environment and refrain from such comments in the workplace. I would simply point out that you would like to keep it professional in the workplace and think such comments should be reserved for outside of work.
2006-12-03 11:46:17 · answer #6 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you may pull him aside and set your obstacles. tell him which you do no longer savour his comments on your visual attraction and in the event that they persist, you will physique of techniques administration approximately this. i'm sorry, you're there to artwork. you're no longer there for eye candy. have faith me, i've got been there. I handle all varieties of comments on account that i'm the only lady at my activity. If this co-worker needs eye candy propose him to bypass to the strippers and pay a woman. it quite is optimal that oftentimes you haven't any longer have been given time to dress up. i comprehend it takes me an added hour in the morning to bathe, dry, straighten and positioned product in my hair (then there is the makeup - eyeliner, lipstick, beginning up, blush, concealer, eyeshadow, eyebrow pencil). I artwork twelve hour shifts and on occasion there basically isn't time to have myself totally performed up. i've got dealt with the occasional, "Wow, your hair is wild right this moment" (you attempt straightening thick wavy hair every day) or "You look drained" (thanx, i've got no longer had time to load up the concealer and canopy my under eye luggage). If it replaced into an occasional remark, i might recommend giggling it off. inspite of the undeniable fact that it appears that evidently like this guy is persistent, so which you will set him as we communicate. (Your area wasn't as we communicate?!!! i might tell this guy to bypass f himself. he's slightly too knitpicky)
2016-10-17 16:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's definitely the kind of thing that could be considered sexual harassment. Talk to him and tell him that it made you uncomfortable when he talked about your you-know-what and you want it to stop. If it continues, report him to the management.
2006-12-04 09:22:00 · answer #8 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When such an incidence should arise again, comment on his dick and tell him how its gonna be amputated the next time he makes a inappropriate remark.
2006-12-04 18:38:30 · answer #9 · answered by oofagook 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats sexual harassment and you don't have to put up with that if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Be firm and warn him that he does anything like that again you will report him to Human Resources or your line manager.
2006-12-03 11:42:54 · answer #10 · answered by lollipoppett2005 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him privately not to say things like that, that you find offensive. And warn him that you will have to report it to HR if he does it again. Just make sure you don't act and joke around like that and suddenly act that you're above it.
2006-12-03 11:50:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋