RE: my dads a pervert?

Question

well my dad has magazines and vids of this in his room and my parents are splited up. none of you have the right to tell me to stay out. this is my business and i am very concerned. i am 12 yrs. old. i asked this question before people syaing its not my business but hello hes my dad! srry if i seem to be being rude but this is kinda scary to me. i'm a girl half way a woman and i feel perverted. intruded ya know and we live alone and if i throw it away he'll know i did it. so what can i do ? call my mom? tell my friends???

Answer 1

I don't know what was said when you asked this Q before. You feel perverted & this is scary means you need to talk with someone about this. Your friends are probably just as young & confused as you are. Talking with your Mom could create even more conflict in the family. If you felt comfortable talking with your dad, you would not be asking the Q. here. Is there a female family friend who has not taken sides in the conflict between your mom & dad? If, not talk with a trusted female teacher or school counselor.

Unless you did some heavy duty snooping, he was wrong to leave it where you could find it. It is not unusual for men to view pornography. If he left it out in the open where you could not miss it or it is of young girls or boys, however, you need to talk with that teacher, counselor, or child welfare office right now. If you have reasons for not wanting to live with Mom also, tell them why.

None of us can say whether you are at risk or not. Ease your mind & find out now. Good Luck.

Answer 2

i perfectly understand. Your dad is not a pervert he's just a man. That's what lonely men do. Its nothing to be alarmed about. I know I used to snoop through my dad's magazines and vids too. As long as your dad is happy and he does not treat you no differently everything should be alright. That's just his way of coping with the fact that he does not have a woman around. Obviously he still cares for your mom and if he didn't he would already have anew girlfriend. The best thing that I can say is just keep a diary of it. You don't want your mom to know because she will probably tell your dad and he will be even more embarrassed than he already is. And telling your friends that will only hurt you in the long run because your friends will think that your dad is a pervert and maybe not want to come to your house any more.

Answer 3

First of all your parents are SPLIT up. Whether you like to hear it or not it IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS to look through his stuff. So don't call your mom or friends about it because he didn't do anything wrong and it isn't like they are still together. Just because he is your dad DOESN'T make it your business to snoop through his "adult things". What if you had a diary and you caught your dad throwing it away and you said hey that's mine and then he says BUT WELL YOUR MY DAUGHTER SO ITS MY BUSINESS? Do you understand where I am coming from? Why would you feel perverted so what your parents are split up and he doesn't have a girlfriend so LEAVE HIM BE and let him watch the stuff for "his pleasure". WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO STAY OUT??? THEN WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT US TO SAY??? REMEMBER THIS IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS THIS IS YOUR DADS SO JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE AND STAY OUT OF HIS STUFF AND THERE WONT BE ANY DRAMA! So you know what you can do just act like you never saw it and leave him be. Your welcome for my advice! xD!!!!

Answer 4

Well sweetie, guys are guys no matter how old they are. Just because your dad looks at that stuff doesn't mean he's a perv and all of the other things u can come up with. Most guys I know look at that stuff. I don't know what it is about it but they seem to love it. I think its just a guy thing. I understand how you feel awkward b/c its just u and him but all I can say is try and just get it out of your head. I know when I was 12 I found that stuff out about my dad and when i turned 13-14 I realized most guys do it. So, I thought why get all worked up its not like I'm alone. So you just have to get it out of your mind and not worry about it so much. It helped me and the older u get the more u'll realize is what i said is true.

Answer 5

You didn't like the answers you got before, but you're going to get the same answers this time. Your dad is an adult. You are not his parent. If he wants to look at nudey magazines, it really is NONE of your business. If he is abusing you, tell your school counselor, but if he is not, then you must understand that he is a human with needs, and it has nothing to do with you.
Just because you don't like what you are hearing, do not expect to keep asking until you get the answer you want. Life doesn't work like that.

Answer 6

No offense but what he does with his personal stuff is none of your business. Why do you feel violated? If you tell your mom she won't really care. You shouldn't be so bothered. Don't worry, many men who are divorced or even still married have these kind of stashes. This doesn't mean he is a pervert. Don't be concerned. You can talk to him about it, if it really bothers you, but it shouldn't. If you tell your friends they will say TMI. (Too much INformation.) Also check your e-mail, I sent you an apology if you didn't like my answer. There was no need to use profane language at me.

Answer 7

Sorry, but no, it's really not your business. Many, many men have adult magazines and videos hidden in their closets and under their mattresses. It's just something most guys do. Nothing in your dad's room is any of your business. I certainly wouldn't snoop around in my parent's room and I'm more than twice your age. Your dad was a man long before he was your dad, and he is STILL a man, in addition to being your dad. If it really bothers you, tell him you found it and are umcomfortable with it in the house, but you have no right to just throw anything away. We may not have the right to tell you to stay out of his room, but HE DOES, and he probably will.

Answer 8

First and Foremost:
Your dad and your mom are splitting up over this. And to defend your dad a little: sex is an important part in a relationship, appearantly it worked at one point in their relationship(or you would not have been born), and dad does have a right to his own privacy. You should consider also, how you got knowledge of this: did you sneak into his room, or did your mom tell you?

See, the bottom line is that both your parents agreed on splitting because for one reason or another they are not getting along anymore, and you as their child is entitled to love them both, regardless what.

Lastly: what dad does in his private life is should not be a measurement of how good a dad he is for you. Just like your mother's private life should not be a measurement for you. It is wrong to judge your dad and that's what I am trying to tell you. I am not telling you to stay out of this because obviously you are right in the middle of this. But I am telling you this: allow your parents their own life and their own decisions without judging them just as you would like for them to allow you your own life(once you are grown), and your own decisions, without them rejecting you.
Furthermore, I do not think that your dad is a pervert just because he looks at those magazines and watches those videos. A pervert is someone who molests children, someone who likes to hurt others, someone like Jeffrey Dahmer. It all depends on how one looks at the issue---because there is nothing wrong with anyone who is comfortable in their own sexuality. So don't judge dad. If you do not like what he is doing, tell him, maybe he'll change that for you.....

Answer 9

You live with your Dad, what are doing snooping around in his room to start with, that is off grounds. I don't if you would call him a pervert if he is 3/4 of the men would be called perverts, some girls to.

Answer 10

Well if you call your mom it might make things worse and they might argue, but for you it could be the right thing to do but men are like that they have those vidoes and magazines and stuff becuase well your dad might be lonely because your parent are slipt up. I dont know about your friends but if you can trust them yes but make sureit dosent come as a rumor.