what should i do...i made my mom cry...?

Question

i made my mom cry. i dont know my dad and my mom never talks about him.whenever i ask about him i was get the feeling tht shes lying to me.But NE wayz i asked her old my dad was now and she around 40 but then i kept asking questions and caught her in some of her lies. and i started yellin at her to just tell me the truth! but she started cryin...i feel like an asshole 4 yellling at her like that. do u have any idea on what i can make it up to her?

and i know i souldnt even nve been worried bout my real dad bc I have a stepdad tht ive alwayz refered to as my dad. so now even worse

Answer 1

u shouldnt hve to do anythin to make it! shes the one tht needs to tell u bout ur real dad. it doesnt matter if u have a really good stepdad to replace him
u should yell at her some more until get truthful answers.and based on ur previous questions it doesnt seem like ur stepdad is too good of a parent either...

Answer 2

i understand that you just want to know about your real dad, every kid does expecially males... Firstly i want you to know that a number of factors may have made her cry, i know your courosity didnt. Maybe she was raped by him and just doesnt want you to know.Maybe she is ashamed of the way it happens.. Since your mother pretty much raised you as a single parent(even though you do have a step father) maybe she is afraidf you will find your real father and betray her tyo be with him. Thats every mothers biggest night mare. I want you to know that your mother loves you and im not sure that she meant to get as upset with you as she did but maybe it brought back unwanted memories. My advice to you would be:
Sit down with her(just the 2 of you), explain to her that these are questions that have been on your mind for a long time now,you dont want to upset her,as you did in the past...and you are really sorry for doing so, just tell her you would really like it if she could be honest with you, and ask any questions you have...im sure you know your mom good enough to tell if she feels uncomfortable about the question and if you see that in her assure her that yopur just wondering and if she doesnt want to answer you she doesnt have to but you would really like it if she did. Also let her know she is your mom and you love her and you would never betray her for someone whom hasnt been there for you,so if thats what shes worried about she has no reason to be.
I hope i was of help to you.... good luck...take care everything will be okay... if ever you need to talk email me [e-mail]

Answer 3

Tell her gently that you're sorry for yelling. It is perfectly normal for you to want to know about your father, James. Let her read this so she realizes that you never meant to hurt her. You sound like a wonderful son and you know your stepfather is the man who has been there in your life. You still have a right to know. Tell her no matter what you will not be upset with her and try to explain your feelings. It is not your fault she got upset. Obviously something about the subject upsets her. Try to tell her you want to talk about this because you are curious and you're willing to talk any time of the day. Good luck!

Answer 4

It's natural for you to want to know. It's also natural for you to be upset about being lied to.

That being said; Your mom may just be trying to protect you from someone she feels is a threat. She may still be so upset about the whole thing that she doesn't want to deal with it.

However, you do deserve to know the truth and need to talk to her about it in an adult manner. You should apologize for yelling to her, but you need to let her know that this is really bugging you and you need to know the truth about your biological father.

Be nice, do your chores and don't hold a grudge against her. But, you need to have a straight conversation with her. If it helps to talk to your step dad first or talk to them both at the same time, do that.

Let them know what you're intentions are. If you're planning on running off & finding your biological father - I don't recommend it. But, if you're ready for the truth and your parents agree, then you should get it. If they don't agree, then ask them when you will be told. It may not be until your 18, it may be never. Only you can decide what do to about that.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

You should apologize to your mother, but then on the other hand what is she hiding about your father? Maybe you shouldn't keep bugging her about your real father. Did you ever stop to think your real father is not the kind of dream father you wanted? I used to be the same way and when I met my real father I was in for a rude awakening and now I don't bug my mother and step father too much about him. I saw his true colors and I don't think your mother wants that for you. So be thankful you have a great mom and a real great DAD. (Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad)

Answer 6

maybe what ever went on between her and your dad was something that still hurts her and you bringing it up brings back those bad memories. the only thing you can do now is go to her and say that you are sorry for making her cry and that you did not realize that asking questions about him would make her so upset. you could also tell her that one day you would like some answers about him, but that you realize that right now she is not ready to tell you and that you hope she will soon.you have the right to know about him, but it could be something that will hurt you and she does not want to see you hurt.

Answer 7

It probably hurts you that she started crying, and you shouldn't have yelled at her, but you have a right to know who your father is. It's normal to want to know who he is so you can have a better sense of your own identity. It could also be important to know down the line if he has a history of certain illnesses in his family because you could get them.

What you should do is apologize for yelling at her but also calmly explain to her your feelings about it. Explain to her why you want to know. There could be a million and one reasons why she doesn't want to tell you. Maybe he didn't treat her well and she wants to forget about him and move on with her life. Maybe she doesn't want you to be hurt by finding out who he is because he won't live up to your expectations. Make it clear to her that you won't judge her for why she doesn't want to tell you and that you love her. And stick to that promise too -- don't judge her.

Answer 8

Best thing for you to do is appologise to her. Let her know why you're so inquisitive about your father. And if you want to know about him for closure tell you mother that as well. It may help you get the information you need. If it doesn't help, then go to her parents for information. She probably doesn't want you to know because maybe your father doesn't either. In that case, leave it be and be the best person you can be, for your sake and your mother's :) GL

Answer 9

You have aright to know who you are. I suspect your mom thinks you will be ashamd of her for having a baby without being married, or is ashamed she ever went out with your father. Chances are, he is either in jail, or is a no good bum who just used her for sex and left. instead of upsetting your mother again, ask your grandparents, or an aunt.

Answer 10

I know what its like to lose a Father, but that doesn't mean you have to give your mom heck about it too. Tell your mom straight that you would like to meet your biological father or forget him. Its not fair to put your mother through pain, any more than it it is for her to keep him from you.