i cant stand my mother?

Question

I am 23, living out on my own I pay my own bills and take care of myself and have been doing so for the last 2 years. My mother mother still continues to manipulate me. As a child her favorite things to say to me(when i didnt do what she wanted me to do) was your children will treat you how you treat me, and obey thy parents and live long on this earth. But now thas I am older I realize that i treat my mother the way she treats me, no child is born evil, i have learned my behavior from her because she is usually down right nasty to me even in public and it is belittling and embarrasing. Everytime i go around her, i come home later on that night and cry my eyes out because of the way she is towards me. nothing i say to her seems to help her understand that i cant take it anymore. I want to sever my relationship with her for good, because she is the only one who makes me feel so low. But its hard because she is the only mother i have. Should i contiue to go around her, or stay away? help

Answer 1

I know this is hard for you.I HAD an overbearing mother too.Tell her what you are feeling and try to persuade her to get some family therapy.Please try this.I'm afraid if you don't you will regret it someday.I wish my mom and I had went to therapy,but it was easier to ignore the problems,and now she is gone forever.I would give anything just to see her again if only for five minutes even though she would probably criticize me the whole time.I can only imagine what those five minutes would be like if we had made an attempt to better our relationship.I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 2

It's good to see you are trying to do something about your relationship with your mother..So many family break ups are over such minor things. Man i can't tell you how important your mother is to you.......You don't know what you have got till it's gone....My mother died of bone cancer about 4 yrs ago, I just wish so much i had have sorted out my issues with my mum and treated her with the respect she deserved. I'm not saying be nice to your mum because she might die, just trying to relate the importance of respecting your creator..i am just not the same with out my mum and never will be. Your mum is your best asset, just try really hard to work things out with her. No one is perfect dude, your mum probably thought she was doing the right thing. If your mum loves you and respects you she will sit down and work it out with you, communication skills are so important, if you approach your mother and nicely say : Mum can we sit down and have a little chat, I wish i could figure out a way to get along with you better, I wonder if we could come to some arrangement about how we treat each other ? I love you heaps and just don't want us to end up like other mother son relationships where thay hate each other... You must remember people are sensitive..it's all about the way you go about it...Never say you this you that to her make it more like we can do this or we can do that..
Good Luck with it dude.

Answer 3

You should do what you feel is right always go with your instinct. But although your case may be more severe all mothers drive their kids nuts. Remember you only have one mom and won't have her forever, but if she is making you cry and feel bad, you need to let her know that and tell her that if it continues then you will have to choice but to limit the time you spend with her because you don't like feeling that way. the only advice or thing i have to say is YOUR LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!!! so as much as you want to don't blame your mother, just fix the problem however you need to.

Answer 4

honey, it is a hard call. because the one time you need your mom she just might not be there anymore, but then again, if she mistreats you i have some advice... sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel, tell her you wont tolerate being treated this way and that if she wants a relationship with you she will stop. I had to do this with my own mother and it works..believe it or not your mom might appreciate you more after , and if not then its her loss

Answer 5

The only advice i have for you in this situation, is to maybe talk to your mother, and tell her how you feel. If that doesnt work, then i would try to stay away from her, and that way she realizes what she did, and how sorry she is that she treated you badly

Answer 6

Yer bloody 23.....get a grip man.....stop being such a twoof.....your mums not going to change so accept that's just the way she is........please remember it is not what other people say that make us feel a certain way it's the way that we are ourselves,.... so my advice to you is start playing down what she has to say....let things go in one ear and out the other....be more assertive...and take responsibility for what goes on round about you.....your mums not the one you should be blaming accept things the way they are and move on......

Answer 7

I am 23 as well,I am married and have three daughters.I used to live with my mom before I concieved my first baby,and it was hell.It seems like the older and more mature you grow,your Momma just don't want to except the fact that it's not so easy to be as bosy as she used to be to you.
Just hang in there ,it must get better,because any worse and it might involve the cops or blood,or worse....
Just try to controll your anger with her....
Good luck!

Answer 8

If your relationship with her is that bad, then just stay away. No mother should degrade her children. She's horrible. A mother should be your best teacher and your best friend. Don't worry. Your children will not grow up to be like your mother. It's best if they are raised far away from their grandmother lest they grow up to be like her. Best wishes.

Answer 9

I think you should keep your distance. I think she's old enough to realize what she's doing. She'll continue to mistreat you as long as you let her. Hopefully she'll come to her senses and be sorry for how she's treated you. If she doesn't you have to accept it. You'll never be able to find happiness if you don't. Take care.

Answer 10

my mom is the same way i know just how u feel...and i'm in the same boat, i have no idea what to do either!!!