I am 23 and have been dating my current boyfriend for almost one year. This is my first real relationship that I have ever been in. Anyway, he treats me really good and is very supportive while I am going through school. He is the kindest man I have ever known and he is all around great!! My dilema is that he can be a negative person sometimes and I can be hard to deal with because I always try to be positive and look at the brighter side of things. It can get really annoying and bring down the fun in our relationship. He doesn't really have a lot of friends because he likes spends a lot of time with me. I want him to go out and do more things and become a more positive person. I am so confused because I love him so much and I see myself with him for a long time, but I need him to change some things about him. Is it possible?? Can he change into a more positive person?? He treats me so well though... what should I do???
2006-12-03 09:29:20 · 14 answers · asked by kitty995 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i feel you should let him be who he is. imagine what a boring world we would live in if we were all the same. if he is negative and you are positive you balance each other out, just love him for who he is and he will love you all the more for that
2006-12-03 09:32:21 · answer #1 · answered by private n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if most things are good, the negative/positive thing shouldn't be that much of a problem. Of course, I don't know *how* negative he is, but a lot of times it can be a nice balance. I'm fairly go with the flow and try to see the best in everything, and my fiance is a worrier. He helps me to take things more seriously, whereas I help to keep him calm.
What bothers me, though, is that you've never had another serious relationship. Are you sure that some of your questioning doesn't come out of a curiosity to play the field? It can be really difficult to get into a serious relationship when you're as young as you are because your life is going to change so much in the next few years. If you'd like to date around, I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea. Good luck!
2006-12-03 09:36:17 · answer #2 · answered by shannonscorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've always heard you should never try to change someone and I believe that it is true. Just think about it for a minute. If you tried to make him change, what would happen? More then likely he'll become more negative and annoyed by your attempts. IF you love him like you say you should take him as he is- nothing different. If you can live with that then great. Being understanding of his personality might be what makes him want to change.
2006-12-03 09:34:02 · answer #3 · answered by gizbit76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we TRULY love someone, we must accept them for who they are, warts & all. What makes you think you are so perfect that you can judge another person & point out their flaws or what YOU believe to be flaws????
Have you ever thought that maybe you have flaws or things that bother him, but he loves you & accepts them as part of you???
After you have been with someone for a long time there will ALWAYS be things that you find irritate or annoy you, but just remember that you ALSO have or do things that irritate & annoy others.
If you love this man & you know what he is like , THAT IS WHO YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH!!!! If you try to change him, then you were NEVER in love with him, you were in love with who you think or thought you could make him into.
2006-12-03 09:47:16 · answer #4 · answered by More Lies & More Smoke Screens 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
darlin you cant expect him to change i mean it isnt fair for you to ask him to do something that he cant control i mean maybe he has a mental issue that he hasnt overcome yet or maybe he is depressed but either way if you love him and can see you two together for ever then you need to accept the bad that goes along with the good im sure he dont like some things about you but he dont want to stop the relationship because of it evr one has issues and if you want to be with him you have to accept his just like he does your i do with my boyfriend its part of growing and learning one another oooo and maybe you should offer going to get help and you join him you go as well that will show him you care leaving him isnt going to change how he feels if anything it will only make it worse i sure do hope you have understood what i was saying help your boyfriend dont throw him away you never know maybe something really bad happen to him in his past and he dont know how to be happy or cheerful good luck
2006-12-03 09:44:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. I would say that you should put it to him as plain and objectively as possible. Make sure you make him realize just how serious the issue is. He is probably comfortable in this "safe zone" and you should warn him that it will only lead to dissapointment later in life and that even you won't be able to hang around much longer if he doesn't make some adjustments to himself. Good luck
2006-12-03 09:33:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st you need to know, understand, & realize that opposites attract!! its the difference in the 2 of you that creates such a strong bond.. No one is perfect & even if he does change his negative ways of thinking, there will still & always be some "dilliemas" no matter what?? Please dont let the really small things come & cause you to 2nd guess your relationship~ your trials come to make you stong!!!
2006-12-03 09:33:55 · answer #7 · answered by kimmiegaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible for him to change. But first he needs to decide that he wants to change. Until he does that there's nothing much you can do. Just keep being positive!
2006-12-03 09:33:22 · answer #8 · answered by sashromancefreak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit whining and start finding things you can do together that both of you enjoy. Love and marriage is a compromise. for better or for worse. If you can't find solid ground now, don't build a future on a foundation of Sand.
2006-12-03 09:37:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think of that shes only playing with u she appears like that form of guy or woman who only likes to get alot of adult males exceedingly if shes a senior dont fall for it bypass after another women and ignore approximately her
2016-10-13 22:42:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋