Why are my grandparents so selfish? It breaks my heart. My husband has been in Afghanistan since last January, and he gets to come home this January for 2 weeks. We decided in June that we would meet in Wisconsin because both our mom's live there. About a month ago, my grandparents who live in Alaska went on this tirade on how he's doing it on purpose just to ruin their Christmas. I'm a full time student with pets and was hired seasonally at a company. They expect me to drop everything and visit them because there may be a power outage and the pipes could freeze. I'm expected to take my finals early, quit my job, and hire a pet sitter to stay at my house for a month. They don't want me visiting my husband at all. They are the ones that raised me, so have the capabilities of makes me feel extremely guilty. I have totally lost my Christmas spirit and have been spending most my days crying as of late. How can people you love be so selfish? I don't know what to do.
2006-12-03 09:27:17 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My grandparents keep telling me this is probably their last Christmas. So what's a girl to do?
2006-12-03 09:29:13 · update #1
A "girl" is going to stay home and cry and miss her husband. A grown woman, is going to tell grandma/pa gently that she is a married woman and her husband comes first! They are pulling your strings, honey. Ask yourself, "will i regret it if I don't go meet my husband?" If the answer is a big fat "YES"...then by all means GO!!! Tell the grands they'll have to just have a merry christmas without you this year and you'll see them asap. You will never forgive yourself if you put your husband last. So...wipe your snotty nose, and get a little angry! That's ok! That will fuel your trip to Wisconsin and keep your bed warm at night. It's time for the birdie to fly out of the nest, dear. When you get back, call Grands like nothing happened. If they choose to stay angry, let them stew in their juice. They can't "make you" feel guilty unless you choose to feel that way. No one can. Be brave and be grown, ok? Godloveya, honey! Happy Holidays and tell your hubby "thanks" for me!!! Bobbye
2006-12-03 10:09:22 · answer #1 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..first of all all people are selfish, but some are more selfish than the others. Senior citizens become more selfish as they get older..maybe because of things they didn't get to do in their lives..because of things they're not to keen on..and they tend to be more grouchy than younger people. The fact that you were raised by them doesn't have to make you feel guilty of anything. Of course they raised you, they tried giving you what's best, they cared for you...but the fact that you are married gives you the responsability to take care of your own family and try not to ruin it.
it's a tough choice choosing between grandparents and your husband..but I think the right thing to do is invite them in Wisconsin as well...you can decide whether to tell them your husband will be there or maybe try a little lie if they're too angry(all meet there and have xmas and you can go somewhre in town and have a romantic xmas with your husband). Well anyway..something like that
PS: hope you find the best way to have a wonderful Christmas
Cheer up and Good luck ;)
2006-12-03 09:40:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See your husband. Bottom line. You shouldn't even have to make a choice between grandparents and a spose. Your spouse should always come first, no matter what. Yeah, it may be thier last Christmas, but it may not. Your husband is in the friggin middle-east, fighting for our country. Honor him and your marriage vows. Your grandparents are probably old and set in their ways, so there's no changing their minds. Lots of people are selfish and the best medicine for them is to not get thier way every time.
2006-12-03 09:37:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT allow them to put you on this guilt trip! They have no right to ask you to leave your home, quit a job and board pets for a month...not to mention the worst of it all being NOT seeing your husband! You're an adult...your commitment is to him now. Keep with the plans you and your husband have made, and if the grandparents give you grief...remind them of wedding vows (older people seem to refer to them frequently). You can still love them and be a good grand daughter without allowing them to control your life. Enjoy the holidays to the fullest! I'm HAPPY that your husband will be home from the Middle East to be with you for the holidays...don't let anyone destroy that!
2006-12-03 09:34:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are selfish because you allow them to be. They may be your family but you need to do what you feel is right in you heart not what sounds right. If you wanna see your husband, do that don't let your family run your life, especially if your husband is doing such a noble thing like fighting for our country. If they really love you they'll understand and get over it. They reasoning sounds simply ridiculous and i would tell them that you would rather not be inconvenienced with all that and since you are now married you feel that you have certain obligations to up hold with your husband and that's where your loyalty lies now, thank them for all they've done for you and tell them that you hope they can understand your decision and leave it at that.
2006-12-03 09:35:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I am concerned, your top priority is your husband. The only thing you need to do is what will make him happy and stress free during his two week visit home. Write a letter and explain that to your grandparents. That way, they can read it over and over again until they understand. Don't cry, just think about getting to see your husband and forget everything else!
2006-12-03 09:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. G. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be sad. You haven't seen your husband for a year.Be happy you're going to be with him again. You can't control how your grandparents feel. What they're doing is unfair. Maybe u can go in a couple of months. It's also not fair to your husband to see you so unhappy for the little time you have together. Good luck. Be strong.
2006-12-03 09:35:21 · answer #7 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guilt is a useless emotion.....don't ever buy into it.....you never get a positive out of this emotion.....at least with other emotions like the anger you should feel about this......can be channelled to doing something positive......your grandparents can wait..don't be annoyed that they behave like this....that's just the way they are.... but make sure you do things your way......if i had been apart from my wife for so long i would be desperate to see her......
2006-12-03 09:34:56 · answer #8 · answered by David M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are selfish usually because thats the way they are brought up. Or someone in their life led them to think that they are worth the utmost respect. Even though its not always like that, but just ignore them and get over it its ok youll never be like that and you know it. Good luck, and happy holidays.
2006-12-03 09:30:18 · answer #9 · answered by thalia s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very selfish and emotional blackmail, but I guess they want to see you badly!...;
2006-12-03 09:31:12 · answer #10 · answered by huggz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋