My son Cohen is 16 months. He is uncontrollable, i'm constantly on edge with him?

Question

My son Cohen is 16 months. Over the last 4 weeks his temper was increased to where he does not listen to anyone, ignores, bites, hits, kicks. We have bought numerous Books and seeked advice from numerous resources but nothing is working. it only seems to be my partner and myself that he physically targets but will ignore everyone instructions. We do not smack, when he is having the tantrum and i mean a TANTRUM if it involves either possibly hurting someone or himself or someting dangerous we send him to his room. For anything else we remove whatever it is and tell him when he is good it will be returned. Nothing is working I can't trust my son, for the simple fact he does not listen and is constantly a time bomb waiting to go off and destroy something

Answer 1

well there can be multiple reasons for this. he wants attention, doesnt know any better, not getting desiplined... and a lot more. do you or your partner work a lot? just the nest time he does something wrong, sit him down, be stern and tell him, look, you are not going to do this anymore. it is bad. you are not going to treat me this way. NO. make him know that you are being serious. i dont have any kids, but i have dealt with a lot of bad ones baby sitting. maybe you and ur partner are too soft on him. just be patient and maybe try what i told you... other than that.. im not sure.. lol

Answer 2

I have been there and I can tell you there is nothing more challenging than what you are dealing with. My husband and I are sensible and mature parents. Our daughter was seven when we had our son. Our first three years were unbelievable. He would tinker with the electrical outlets and I would swat his hand. He would do it again and hold out his hand that was still red from the swat to let me swat him he refused to take no on things he wanted to do. His naps were just long enough for me to get over the shock of it all. I would go check on him and he had stripped all of his clothes and diaper and had poo all over his hair laughing when I came in. His diapers were duct taped on after that. He would never behave for any outing. I suggested my husband we take the kids to Busch Gardens one day. I was thinking maybe it would do us all good and maybe the Baby would enjoy seeing the animals and getting out. Not a chance he flipped on his stomach and used his legs like brakes to stop the stroller. It was a nightmare. Then he was 19 months. About 5 months after that I thought lets take the kids to the beach for the weekend. My daughter always loved that. We were only there 1 day, and had to come home. My son insisted on biting and pulling my daughters hair when we turned out the lights for bed. His Father and I are not big on spankings but had used many on him. I am so glad he is older now and is a pleasure. But the first 4 years were more than I want to handle. I hope you get answers to help you although there may not really be an answer. Just remember he will grow up your job is to keep him safe and don't allow him to put you in fear. He will sense that weak spot and it could feed his negative behavior.
. Good Luck! Am sure you know that too. Sometimes when a problem of your own especially one involving our children
Seems to blind your better judgment and hush good sense.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

you said you dont smack... and you have tried everything else.... so ithink you should. almost all children are smacked when they do something wrong, and basically all of them turn out fine so theres nothing wrong with it, as long as you dont fo overboard... you cant rely on those books.. most of the authors have never even had a kid. when he throws a tandrum.. just ignore him, he wont continue forever and he'll notice he's not getting any attention. thats probably what he wants, attention 24/7.

and if he starts crying, sit him in his room and let him cry his heart out.. you cant baby him or he will just get worse.

good luck =]

Answer 4

take no notice of the people that tell u to smack him.its not nice and it doesnt teach them anything.how i see it is that i wouldnt like to be smacked so i dont do it to my 3 sons. what is ur sons diet like as changes in their diet can have a real effect on how they behave. cut out any sweets and carbonated soft drinks etc. maybe take him out for a stroll.hope this helps.

Answer 5

I am not a strong one for spanking, but if it is needed, and not too hard, then maybe you should. Even at his young age, he just possibly knows how you work. You punish him the same and nothing seems to change.

Answer 6

He only does it because he can. you tolerate his behavior. I dont care what books or professionals say. Most of those people dont have kids, or havent raised kids.

Dont allow it. Just dont.

make sure he's not getting this behavior from home. If you and your husband argue, or fight in front of him, if you yell at him when he's annoying you, if you are short with him for being a toddler, then this is going to be his natural behavior. I would be caused by you, and not him. Either way it comes down to the parents, either through him learning actions from you, or devising them out of lack of stiumlating attention, or most commonly through inconsistant punishment. Once you can locate the issue in yourselves, get rid of it, and set to ridding it from him.

It wont magically get better with age. It doesnt work like that. It only gets worse.

He's not quite a toddler yet, but he is able to communicate and understand basic things like 'no' and 'dont do that'.


Babies like this have certain times during the day when they are physically and emotionally unable to cope with their world because they are tired. Either around bed time, or nap time(s). you cannot expect him to exhibit any kid of rationality during these hours. He's just too tired to be reasoned with. And thats normal for his age, clear through early childhood.

Its also normal for him to be moody. Its part of his age. They live completely in the moment. Everything right now is cause and reaction. There is cause and he finds a new reaction for it.

Aside from baiting and switching, redirecting, and avoiding tantrums, your only option is to not put up with this behavior when it shows its head.

The MOMENT and i do mean the very moment, he acts like he's about to throw a fit, have a tantrum, hit, bite, or whatever, pick him up IMMEDIATELY and remove him from the situation. He wants attention, and he wants complete control of the situation. Picking him up, putting him either in his room, or in his crib, or on a time out chair (it needs to be the same thing each time) removes that control and attention from him.

As soon as you pick him up, tell him no hitting, biting, throwing fits, or whatever he's doing. And tell him until he can use words to tell you what he wants then he can stay in his room, in his crib, or on his chair. He must be kind to others.

For his age, a single word, or even a hand motion is acceptable, by 20 months a couple words should be accepted, and by 24-36 months near, or full sentances should be expected.

There is no magical age, or magical trick, or series of things to some how do to make him feel like he wants to behave, or wants to be good. You simply need to expect it out of him. You tell him how to act, you show him how daily, you repeatedly remind him in casual conversation, you point out good behavior in other children on tv or at the store, you encourage him about how well behaved he is... and when he misbehaves you stop it NOW. not after the fit is in full swing (although you still should) not after you've reminded him 10 times, not after you have asked him twice to please do what mommie says, not after you've counted to three, three and one half and three and three quarters. Thats called inconsistancy, and it doesnt show him anything.

Stop dancing around the issue and trying to find a magical way to make him stop. Simply dont allow it. You child simply doesnt throw tantrums, he doesnt bite, and he certainly doesnt kick you. Its not allowed, he doesnt do it. So dont let him.

It sounds complex and difficult but its really not. Its just a matter of reacting at the same time, the same severity, and with the same punishment every single time.

My mom raised three kids, I raised two of my brothers, and i've also nannied for 4 different families with small children, and also done child care, this includes children with 'learning problems' and 'adhd'. I learned from my mother that you simply dont allow things. Its hard sometimes when its not your child, but when you have full time care over them, its amazing how quick you can correct hateful violent behavior.

you'll be amazed what your child wont do if he's simply not allowed to.

Answer 7

One phase.."Spare the Rod Spoil the child" In other words spank him! A child will never learn what he should or should not do if you just tip-toe around it. He's old enough to know when you say "no" and what it means.

Answer 8

showing my son boo boos and explaining that hitting,biting and kicking hurts and leaves boo boos seemed to help. remember that hitting begets hitting.