I'm almost 20. He's almost 23. We've been dating since high school (3 years together) and all I want is to be engaged, not married. We've both decided we'll be married in the future but he won't even get engaged until he's "financially" stable. He's from a VERY wealthy family and I don't understand why he needs to have all his ducks in a row just to be engaged. I don't care how long we're engaged for...6 months or 6 years. I just want to take the first step.
WOMEN: how do you feel about this?
MEN: what is he thinking and why won't he ask me?
2006-12-03 08:48:51 · 25 answers · asked by ♥Rabeka♦ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's on the right track. Let him put his financial stability together. Money woes are rated as a top reason for divorce. And things DO change when you're engaged, no matter how hard you try to keep the norm.
2006-12-03 09:07:29 · answer #1 · answered by vegasmade 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are both very young yet. And people change as they get older. Maybe he wants to test the water out there before he commits to being married. Getting in engaged is a serious thing for a person to think about. Dont be putting so much pressure on him if he is not ready yet. All we need is another young couple like you getting married to only get divorced in 5 years if that. Your both young, commit to each other as you have and get your education first. Getting married or engaged can wait.
2006-12-03 08:52:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sounds like he'll do it when he is ready and when it feels right for him. Don't put much pressure on him to get engaged because if your really in love and are on the way to marriage he's not going anywhere. What's the allure about getting engaged anyways? Maybe he can't afford to buy a ring yet and wants to be able to be to do it with his own money and not his family's money so you know he worked hard to buy a ring for you with all his heart. There could also be many underlying things. Talk to him tell him how you feel but also make sure you're not pressuring him into something he is not ready for. Sounds like your a good match don't ruin it or rush into things.
2006-12-03 08:57:03 · answer #3 · answered by Petalouda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you want to take the first step towards cementing your life together, but in all honesty, the whole intention of getting engaged is to start the planning of your wedding. I would not want to get engaged until I was ready to set a date for the wedding and start the planning. Otherwise, I would have to deal with the questions "So when is the wedding?" and me not have a viable answer... Just my opinion of course!
2006-12-03 08:54:20 · answer #4 · answered by just another chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe the reason he has not asked you or given you a ring is he is not ready and does not want to be engaged, just because you have dated for 3 years and talked about getting married in the future does not mean he will marry you. so do not get all your ducks in a row thinking he will marry you..............
2006-12-03 08:53:18 · answer #5 · answered by Mimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh, get a life! If you go thru with this, in 10 years you're going to be wondering why you didn't live your life instead of go from highschool to being married instead of enjoying your youth. I think it's crazy and you're too young. I got engaged just as you want and then I broke it off when I went overseas. I can't imagine how much I would have missed if I'd stayed and just settled.
Don't settle girl! Make him work for you! You're worth it aren't you?
2006-12-03 08:54:13 · answer #6 · answered by latina_soldier 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wanted to get engaged he would ask you. It is clear that he is not ready to take this step. It seems that you are insecure and feel as if you need a 'ring on your finger' to signify you are taken. Sweety, do not rush your relationship. When the time is right he will ask. With you pressuring him to become engaged may actually destroy what you have now.
2006-12-03 08:53:49 · answer #7 · answered by oracle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand you wanting to take your relationship to the next level but is it because you just want to say "I'm engaged" or what? Trust me it is a very good thing that he wants "all his ducks in a row" before he commits...and you're only 20...wait...A LONG TIME!!!
2006-12-03 08:53:49 · answer #8 · answered by atchisons2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married until:
1. You go through a major crises together to see how the other handles it.
2. You have turned 28.
2006-12-03 08:51:35 · answer #9 · answered by Kathryn R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be more what his prents are thinking. They may want him to marry someone from another rich family and you may not be such a person. It is sad when money gets in the way. Money cannot buy happiness (except for my ex wife!!) He may be stringing you along and will dump you once daddy finds him a nice little rich girl from one of his work contacts. It is sad he won't commit to you but there may be outside influences from his parents so tread carefully.
2006-12-03 08:55:30 · answer #10 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋