I live in the dorms and usually every night my mom calls me to makes sure I'm ok (gets very annoying sometimes and she's such a worrywart). Last night I called her and she sounded weird on the phone. Usually when we talk she does all of the talking but this time there was like total silence on the phone so I got fed up and asked to talk to my dad. From my dad I found out that she was drunk which really pissed me off. I needed to talk to her about some personal problems and she wasn't even there to listen.
I spent the entire night crying to myself because she really hurt me that way. Now I don't even want to hear the sound of her vioce it makes me so pissed off. I would have wished she didn't answered the phone than talk to me on the phone drunk! What kind of example are you showing your kids? I mean if I talked on the phone to her while I was drunk she would kill me!
Am I being too dramatic? I feel weird confronting her about this. Any advice would be appreciated.Thanks
2006-12-03 08:22:09 · 27 answers · asked by L.M.L 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I wish she would understand how I feel about her. I do everything to make her feel that I'm not a wild person. If she knew that my friends drank, got pregnat and smoked weed she would think I was doing the same thing.
I guess I want is a little freedom. I want to get drunk and not feel guilty about it in the morning which I always do when I do drink. In a way I want to be rebellious to her. I don't know...sometimes I wish she wasn't my mom....
2006-12-03 08:30:55 · update #1
Also my mom doesn't drink on a daily basis or anything like that. She's not the type to get drunk either. I guess I was sursprised.
2006-12-03 08:34:36 · update #2
This may not be what you would like to hear but asking her to set aside the time to talk with you rather than expecting it whenever your in the mood to do so would gain a better result. Yes she is your mother, but she is also human. Ask youself did she know you were gonna need her at that moment you called?
You are in college and I could understand if you were younger and living at home an this was right in front of you.
She sounds like she cares very much for you if she calls you that much. Maybe she is having a good time, or just her way to relax. If it a habit that she is drunk then she needs help. But based on you saying she calls every night, and you called her the time she was drunk does not appear to be a problem.
Let her live a little and let her know when you need her. Parents need a life to, even when thier babies are grown for the most part.
Just tell her you were upset that night, but do not go off on her because she was drunk. And you wished you could have talked to
her, but is she available now?
I think you are being dramatic but it is normal as you grow more, your used to her being there and she was unavailable this time and it hurt your feelings, but forgive her and move on life is too short.
2006-12-03 08:39:24 · answer #1 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, since you live in a dorm and probably have a roommate, I would ask your mom to only call you once a week like on Sunday's or something. I mean you do have studies, etc., right? Did your mom drink while you were at home? If you don't want to talk to her in that state of mind, your going to have to tell her so, though she'll probably say she's not drunk, they all do. Tell her ya'll will talk again when you feel like she is hearing what you are saying. In the mean time, find a good friend, one I'm sure you already have, and have a pajama party and let your friend know in advance that your needing to talk to somebody confidentially and if she would be willing to lend an ear and give an unbiased opinion. If your personal problems are medical, God forbid, just go straight to your doctor and bypass everyone. Good Luck
2006-12-03 16:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you arent that dramatic. I am sure that I would be upset if my mom answered the phone drunk as well. I'm not sure if that kind of person is really her. You need to have a serious disussion with her wether you want to talk to her or not. People make more mistakes than usual without their children. I am not saying you should go move back in with her. Ask you dad if she has gotten drunk before or something like that. Good luck and best whishes.
2006-12-03 16:32:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you have every right to be angry. My Dad was a drug dealer and my mother was an alcoholic. She has since quit drinking for 4 years. It seems that you are an adult. By being an adult you have the right to choose who to communicate too. Alcoholism runs in my family. I don't talk, see or speak of the people in my family that are on drugs or alcohol. When it becomes a problem they need to get help. You need to tell your mom I will not speak to you until you acknowledge your mistake and or get help. I will be there for you when you want help. My Dad ended up dying when I was 11. Parents are there for you, not the other way around. You need to focus on school. You have every right to be angry. I hope you're mom gets help before you end up losing her. If Alcohol isn't a problem then tell her to never call you again when she is drunk. School is most important for you. My mother has quit drinking and goes to AA 4 years later. I am very proud of her. If you ever need any more help in this situation just email me.
Daniel AKA Schmidty
2006-12-03 16:34:46 · answer #4 · answered by danielschmidt94521 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is just going through a phase right now because she is use to having you in the house bu now that you moved out she misses you dearly and she is not use to you being away. You are not being dramatic you are doing the right thing in a sense. Your mom will get worried for a little while and call you every day but after things slow down she will get use to the change of not having you at home and she will later appreciate and accept things. It will take time for her to get adjusted.
with her being drunk she is trying to get you more worried about her so you would come back home Just wait for about a couple of weeks to talk to her but keep in touch with your dad.
2006-12-03 16:30:38 · answer #5 · answered by Melody-Lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
come on , youre in the dorm now, You first say that its "annoying "that Mom calls everynight just to say how you are doing, then say youre pissed that shes no available for your personal probing.
As long as Mom and Dad arent getting carried away with drinking it of course is their right being that you are out of the house. Dont give her a guilt trip about the drunkness ,let it go for now. I think question about being to "dramatic" is a good one, I found its alway good to look to myself first to answer a problem I have before blaming someone. Maybe you could instead ask us on yahoo answers about the problem you would have asked your Mom.
2006-12-03 16:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by shyNquiet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I believe you are being too dramatic.
You have to remember that your mother is an adult who is legally allowed to drink.
She chose a night to have fun--to relax. How was she supposed to know that was going to be the night you had a personal crisis? Should your mother ALWAYS be on call waiting for you to call her in case something happens?
It was a case of bad coincidence--not your mother being a bad parent.
Your mother obviously loves you enough to call you to check up on you.
Relax. I'm sure you've pissed off your mother before, and she obviously overlooked it enough to still talk to you.
It's LOVE. It should be unconditional between parents and children.
I would be more understanding of your situation if your mother bailed out on your graduation to get drunk.
Try to get over it. It seems like such a silly little thing to be ruining your relationship.
Best of luck.
Ashley.
2006-12-03 16:31:27 · answer #7 · answered by muertoalavida 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you are annoyed because she wasn't really available when you needed her, but the question is, is this a common occurrence or a rare occurrence??? If it's common, you need to talk to your Dad and see if you can get her to get some help. If it's a rare occurrence, you need to mind your own business. You are not your mother's keeper. If it makes you feel any better, she is probably more upset than you since she calls you every night to make sure you're ok and is a worrywart.
2006-12-03 16:29:32 · answer #8 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One word. Time. Let her come to her senses and realize that she is not giving out a good example. Maybe she drinks because she is depressed or something. If you really think you want to talk to her, listen when she talks and show your support. Then when you are talking, she will listen to what you have to say. And no, you are not being too dramatic. It is common for a teen to feel this way.
2006-12-03 16:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i dont think you are being dramatic.. i understand exactly how you feel. i would have been pissed off too.. probably for the same reasons you were.. but i think that you should just talk to her in person about the whole situation.. if you tell her that what was wrong with her.. she will realize that she was doing something completely absurd.. and she will be sorry.. but dont start like yelling.. make her feel bad in a way.. tell her that you really needed her and she like made it worse in a way because she was drinking.. so explain how you felt to her..
good luck
2006-12-03 16:27:30 · answer #10 · answered by Yhpargotohp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋