OK i met this guy in college.I'm sorta starting to get into him.He's very much into me.This I know b/c of what he tells people about me.The only thing is, I don't know whether to pursue a serious relationship.In my heart, I want to, but I know my family will disapprove of his appearance,his personality, or his habits. Anything about him really.He's about 5'5 and weighs about 125. He's very pale and always wears really big, baggy sweatshirts, and pants.He has long stringy black hair, tattoos, and a tounge ring.He's from Chicago, both parents are lawers, and he really flaunts his parents' money and the things (expensive clothes, flashy cars,etc.) that he buys with it.He also smokes and drinks extensively. Ladies, what would you say to your friend if she was dating someone like this, and moms, what would u think if your daughters came home with him on their arms?I appreciate any comments/advice.I want advice from either angle, as a parent or a peer, even if it is negative advice.Thanks
2006-12-03 08:21:02 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
His personality is cocky due to the extensive money, "I'm from Chicago" flaunting, so to everyone else he comes off as nasty and unapproachable. (my sister has said "how can you stand to look @ him??" she doesn't know how I feel about him). But to me, he's completely opposite.
2006-12-03 08:27:23 · update #1
I am a 19 year old college student, so I definitely understand where you are coming from. I tend to fall for the guys that my friends and/or family do not seem to approve of. First of all, how do YOU feel about it. You aren't 16, you are an adult now and are old enough to know what you want. As long as he is good to YOU and y'all are compatible and you think y'all could have a good relationship I say go for it. Now the drinking and smoking would be the only thing that would really bother me about this guy, but it's what you want. If you like him and he likes you--what is stopping you? Just explain to your family and friends that you understand him and he understands you and appearances do not matter. If he is always "flaunting" the money as you say, let's hope he doesn't let it get to his head where he becomes arrogant. The inside is what is most important. If he is just scruffy looking but a good guy, I don't see a problem! :) Good luck to you and God bless! :)
2006-12-03 08:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i'm a 19 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old college scholar, so I quite understand the place you're coming from. I relatively tend to fall for the adult males that my pals and/or family do no longer seem to approve of. at the beginning, how do you sense approximately it. you're no longer sixteen, you're an grownup now and are sufficiently old to understand what you choose. as long as he's sturdy to YOU and y'all have compatibility and you think of y'all could have a competent relationship I say decide for it. Now the eating and smoking could be the only element that would relatively situation me approximately this guy, inspite of the undeniable fact that it quite is what you choose. in case you like him and he likes you--what's scuffling with you? basically clarify to your human beings and family which you recognize him and he's conscious you and appearances do no longer remember. If he's often "flaunting" the money as you're saying, enable's wish he does not enable it get to his head the place he turns into boastful. the interior is what's maximum severe. If he's basically scruffy finding yet a competent guy, i do no longer see a situation! :) sturdy success to you and God bless! :)
2016-10-17 16:02:12 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay....so far...I know his parents have money....and he spends it...However what does he do?
I know that he's skinny and looks a little different....
he drinks a lot....and smokes a lot......(not good)
and so far you haven't said anything appealing about him or his personality......
Is he kind.....is he good to you.....is he rude to people.....Do his looks describe him....a punk? a little help here......
Okay....what you have listed would send any parent into a wave of feelings....
however you haven't listed anything that is really important....
If you are concerned.....you are listening to your heart......you are making your list.....and thinking that people will judge the book by its cover....not whats inside.....
If my daughter came home with what you have listed.....and me not knowing anymore......I would stand guarded.....a wall would be up until I got to know the boy.
Looks do play a big role....however I look for much more......these days so many people have tats and piercing (which I don't like...however their choice) so its harder to tell....years ago...the tatts were bikers and rough necks....today its different.
Best wishes....be honest with yourself.....and all that you have listed....you have made your own decision....
2006-12-03 08:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I would make sure that his pants weren't too baggy. I was talking to one of my son's friends and his pants fell down. Needless to say, embarrassed. Second get him to take a bath and wash his hair. Tattoos and a tongue ring really don't matter, but dirt does. If smoking is allowed in your parents house, fine, if not inform him ahead of time. As for the drinking, if he is of age a drink with dinner - not drunk. If he was cordial and polite, so should be your parents.
2006-12-03 08:27:08 · answer #4 · answered by kny390 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well if it was my child i would be happy that she brought him over to meet me. but i cannot tell her who she can see. I can just hope that he is treating her good. that the most that counts apperances don't mean nothing its whats in the inside of the person that counts. but every parent is different. Just tell them you dont do drugs, or drink or anything else that they should put thier trust in you. if your worried about the way he dresses ask him polite for that one time if he can wear nice clothes that is not to baggy at least his pants. and smoking and drinking ask him not to unless he asks your parents if he could. good luck.
2006-12-03 08:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice looks have nothing to do with a persons thinking.......he may look like he does but is he a nice person on the inside ok the drinking/smoking may cause a slight problem, but i presume he aint drunk 24/7 or u wouldn't even think about dating him ?????
in the end its your choice and if you have made a mistake its your job to sort it no ? btw i am a mother to 5 girls and a boy
2006-12-03 08:28:57 · answer #6 · answered by thunderchild67 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If his appearance does not reflect his attitude then all you can do is try. If he is a nice guy then how he appears to others shouldn't matter. If his clothes are the only thing that bothers you, show your parents a picture of him or the two of you and take in their reaction.
2006-12-03 08:24:21 · answer #7 · answered by betterthanhers 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should find someone else whos more cleaner and who doesnt drink. Drinking leads to a bad life. You dont want that!! Trust me! I wouldnt want my friends or kids around someone like that. Hes a bad example. Im sorry but i think you deserve better. Good luck!
2006-12-03 08:25:43 · answer #8 · answered by brownsugar 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
idk if i wud be comfortable having my friend date someone like that. im not prejudiced against the style or anything, but he seems to be conceited (because of the money thing) and not exactly the best influence on a young girl in college (the drinking and smoking) i would be worried for my friend, but i would try to be polite until she got her head screwed back on. hope that helps! :)
2006-12-03 08:26:27 · answer #9 · answered by sweet_as_sugar_ox 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If i was youre parents i would tell my self that me and daddy don't give her enough attention.
Take care of you're self use you're head
2006-12-03 08:29:02 · answer #10 · answered by other shoes 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋