My boyfriend and I really love each other but I don't want to risk pregnancy so when we do have sex we use a condom.Well for some reason after sex or oral he smears some of his semen on his fingers and starts fingering me.I told him that I don't like him doing that because I could get pregnant and then he gets all insulted that I don't want to have HIS BABY.We're both in our early 20's and still in college so I believe it's not time for us to have a child especially since we're not married.He told me that I'm his woman and as his woman he can do with me any way that he wants.There have been other times after sex when he has peed on all over my body saying that he's "MARKING" me as his property and he wants other men to know that I'm his.Is he crazy or is this typical of all men?Even when he took my virginity he pushed inside me really slow even though he knew I was in pain. He told me that he wanted me to remember who was my first and only.This is also my first sexual relationship.
2006-12-03 08:09:35 · 26 answers · asked by Britney S 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
This man is slowly trying to take control of you. You are a person, not an object to be conquered, he has no right to "do you any way he wants to". Urinating onto another human being without there consent is a way to emotionally manipulate them and make them feel worthless and dirty, he is trying to wear your guard down to him, this is not a normal sexual practice, unless you both consent and enjoy it. It sounds like he is trying to get you pregnant by fingering you with his semen, seems like another way to gain control of you...if you have his baby you will be linked to him for life..be careful, this guy sounds like trouble. I know you may love him very much and it is your first relationship, but it sounds like you're a smart girl (you're in college etc.) and you deserve better, i reccomend leaving this man and telling family or friends about this for your support, goodluck, be safe!
2006-12-03 08:26:07 · answer #1 · answered by whitelampshade 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Well, I'm a man and I can say with full authority that *I HAVE NEVER URINATED ON ANY WOMAN.* "Marking territory" with urine (pee) is something our ancestors generally gave up about twenty million years ago. Nowadays we have contracts to discern what's "mine" versus what's "yours." And they don't stink after awhile... he did allow you bathe eventually, right? Has he mentioned where he wants you to have his name tattooed on you perhaps?
As for pushing in slowly while taking virginity, we guys have no idea what that feels like. Some medical experts say that it hurts her less if we go in slowly, but again, the best we can get is hearsay. That is, assuming he didn't WANT you to feel more pain.
If you don't want to have his baby right now, stand up for your right not to be invaded by his sperm. And the same thing with being pissed on. If you don't want him to do something to you and he does anyway, it's just like rape. Be absolutely clear about what you will not stand for, and if he feels like he can "own" you like a piece of chattel, kick his *** to the curb and find a real man. Real men show respect to the women we date.
Now I don't know your guy, and maybe he's got a lot of great qualities, but he might have some serious issues regarding women.
And I don't know if his behavior will become less possessive if you marry him later... but I doubt it will magically improve, and a guy like that sounds as though he might take "Till death do us part" literally.
In brief, no, not all men do such things. And if you'd like to test-drive an example of a real man, I'm currently single. Good luck, regardless.
2006-12-03 10:14:54 · answer #2 · answered by wood_vulture 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you need to get rid of this loser! First of all, why bother with a condom when he puts semen in you anyway? You need to stand up and tell him no, push him off you, because you will be the one having the baby. No man "marks" his woman by urinating on her and let me tell you, my boyfriend would never try that or he'd be knocked out on the floor after I kicked his butt!! Losing your virginity always hurts but this guy is sick. You need to kick him to the curb and find a man who treats you with dignity and respect. This is not typical behavior, please know that.
2006-12-03 10:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by Rhode Island Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf doesn't love you or he wouldn't treat you like property nor try to control you. He has issues with control and I suggest you get out of that relationship fast. Love is not controlling. It is not marking territory. It is not making you do something you don't want to do. Your bf has issues of insecurity which he needs to address. I don't expect you to believe the advice many will provide about his behavior, but I can guarantee, you are destined for a life of turmoil if you continue with him.
2006-12-03 08:24:01 · answer #4 · answered by S H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a sadist... people like this are into causing pain and fear of rejection in someone to make them dependant on them. this is his way of making sure you stay with him. usually this is due to insecurity.
how do I know? I know someone who was doing this very same thing, the peeing thing is a terrortorial thing and its his way of making sure you know that you are less than him.
you should read up on bdsm and male dom or female submissive to get an understanding of this behaviour.
it is not right to have to go thru this with out agreing to it or asking for this to happen. you should put your foot down, tell him you willleave if this doesnt stop... although for some men this is a very strong feeling to be the "master" of the relationship in this way and untill he is aware of why he is doing this to you he will never stop.
by the way dominant men are usually very very possesive and like public riddicule or sex and will be into causing pain. this will turn them on. they will also usually expect you to do all the things that he knows you dont like to do sexually. he will also expect you to do anything he says and will usually seem ungrateful for it. and he will seem chauvinistic.
My opinion... go find someone who is on the same page as you. you are only attracted to this guy because you have the female nurturing need to fix things and you will always carry that lost hope of "things will change, it will get better one day."
Chances are you will not be able to change him or the relationship
2006-12-03 08:30:29 · answer #5 · answered by miss-pelld 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No all guys do not do this. Do not allow him to continue with this degrading behavior. If you do not like what he is doing, you have to stand up to him. This also sounds like a controlling relationship. You can get pregnant if he fingers you with his semen and it appears that he wants you to. It is not normal for a man to pee on you "mark you as his territory". My advice is that you get out of this relationship because your boyfriend has a control issue. If you do not wish to leave him, stand up to him...if that doesn't work seek counseling...if counseling doesn't work, then your relationship is trouble.
2006-12-03 08:15:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never had anything like this from myy personal experience, so it sounds a bit wrong and odd to me...I think he's getting too carried away, and the relationship might get a little dangerous with him trying to force you into things. My advice would be to get out of the relationship, or just be careful and not give in to things like that.
2006-12-03 08:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by isabella 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never heard of such a thing, Marking his Territory? (not true, I've heard there are freaks out there, oops not freaks, those with Fetishes, who urinate on one another for sexual enjoyment...
Not sure I could ever be okay with making love to someone, and then rather than a sweet kiss, you are blessed with a GOLDEN SHOWER!
To each their own. But you need to figure out if you are into this. good luck
2006-12-03 22:32:29 · answer #8 · answered by Mikez Bad Girl soCal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You picked yourself a real winner there, didn't you?
Not only do most men not do this, but he is abusing you. There is absolutely nothing normal, safe, or healthy about what he is doing.
You need to end this relationship now. Seek out a better relationship with a man who would treat you well.
2006-12-03 08:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope he is wacky. No man should have to "mark" a women that way.
1. He is treating you like a toilet not a girlfriend.
2. Women are not property they are people.
3. Kick this guy to the curb
2006-12-03 08:12:12 · answer #10 · answered by cowrepo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋